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Unflattering photo

(68 Posts)
Biscuitmuncher Tue 22-Aug-23 09:40:50

My lovely daughter has had a photo printed of me that she likes. In it I look like Jabba the Hutt! Best of all she wants to frame the monstrosity and put it on the wall. What do I do? I cant look at that bloody thing!

nanna8 Tue 22-Aug-23 09:42:13

Tell her you don’t like it and give her another one ?

Redhead56 Tue 22-Aug-23 09:53:57

My DH has a habit of taking the worst photos (he fails to see that) and forwards them on. I used to be furious with him I give up now what you see and others see is different. I would just shrug it off it’s not worth upsetting your DD.

Grammaretto Tue 22-Aug-23 10:09:19

At least she likes it!
My DD couldn't find a decent one of me at her own wedding so has missed me out entirely on her framed medley of wedding photos. boo hoo!

Juliet27 Tue 22-Aug-23 10:18:18

When my son, daughter and their four year old son visited from Australia last year, while we were out for a walk the grandson took a photo of us all sat on a bench. When he came to show us, he looked a bit sheepish - he’d left me out! Shows what he thinks of me!! Mind you, looking at the next photo he took I rather wish he’d left me out of that one too!!

Blondiescot Tue 22-Aug-23 10:24:30

My kids joke that if I ever went missing, there would be no missing person posters, as there are no photos of me! I hate getting my photo taken, so go out of my way to avoid it!

Oreo Tue 22-Aug-23 10:52:21

Grammaretto

At least she likes it!
My DD couldn't find a decent one of me at her own wedding so has missed me out entirely on her framed medley of wedding photos. boo hoo!

That’s very sad.

I don’t know many women that like themselves in photos OP, sometimes I think I look quite good and sometimes awful.
Your DD likes it and that’s what matters, and it’s lovely that she wants it in her wall, so rejoice!

rubysong Tue 22-Aug-23 13:09:22

There are very few photos of me as I am usually the one taking the photos of everyone else.

fancythat Tue 22-Aug-23 13:18:43

I didnt realise that there others like me who dont like their photos.
A lot of times others dont see what the problem is. Thankfully.

Only last night my DD took a photograph with me in the background. And shared it before I had seen it. To me I look shapeless and slumped. DD cant really see what my problem is. Which is nice. Other DD cant either.
But there are very few photos of me that I actually like. And I really dont think that I am wrong about all this!

Mirren Tue 22-Aug-23 13:20:42

I honestly think someone could take the best photo ever of me ....and I would still see the truth....a plain ,bespectacled, grey haired , wrinkly ,slightly overweight 67 year old woman.
I have never seen any photos of myself, even my wedding pics , where I thought I looked pretty.
I was a pretty baby and younger child but ,the fact is , I am " plain ".
No 2 ways about it.
It is the simple truth.
So , while I do not enjoy seeing my own images, I have to accept those who love me think some are " good photos " and want some visual record of me ,their wife ,Mum , grandma ,sister friend etc.
On this basis I allow photos of me to be taken although I have never displayed any, even my wedding photos, in my house.

fancythat Tue 22-Aug-23 13:23:56

I watch other women, and men for that matter have their photos taken. And it is all so easy for them.

I have learnt over the years to shut my mouth[dont like my teeth]. Smile. But I can only do that for 5 seconds, and people have not normally clicked by then.
Even if I get that right, my hair will be out of place[I dont use many products so that could be my fault]. Or my tummy looks big. Or something else.

Can you tell I have put some thought inot this over the years. And still not got far?

I then went into, oh who cares mode. But I dont like the results of those photos either!

I have started to try and see them and agree before the sending[i know someone who is very strict on that which would explain her faultless photos]. But as my last post says, I dont always succeed.

fancythat Tue 22-Aug-23 13:26:47

op, I feel for you. Not sure what my advice is.

Grammaretto, oh that is sad.

Hetty58 Tue 22-Aug-23 13:55:38

We see all our faults and wrinkles - and they see 'Mum'!

My mother would only be photographed showing her 'good' side and would make us all wait ages while she 'arranged' herself properly -side on, standing tall, chin up, tummy in, hair flicked back - with a little smile. Result - we thought her ridiculously vain - and she still managed to look like an idiot!

Primrose53 Tue 22-Aug-23 16:33:12

I detest having my photo taken. I have friends who stand slightly turned to one side and look great, another friend always places her feet really well and it flatters her. I forget, so stand straight on, feet together and usually end up with my eyes closed.

Another thing is I have a small mouth and even when I smile I don’t show a lot of teeth. Friends have big, wide mouths and their teeth look lovely.

Oldnproud Tue 22-Aug-23 18:20:32

How I sympathise. Over the years, I have slyly thrown away most photos of myself over the age of about 12, and that includes my wedding photos!

Firstly, I have never been attractive. Photos of myself as a teenager generally made me want to cry.

As an adult, the moment someone poins at camera at me, I literally feel my facial muscles pull my features out of place. I was so self-conscious.

But - in my sixties, I think I have finally overcome that. I have found a way of sticking out my chin and putting on a false smile that comes across acceptable in a photo.
I only realized I had cracked it when, for the first time in my life (now in my early 60s), my elderly mother actually commented recently, while looking through some new photos of a family celebration, that I take a good photo!!! Ok, I think that was an exaggeration, but I knew what she meant.

If there is hope for me, there is hope for anyone!

Biscuitmuncher Tue 22-Aug-23 20:37:35

I think as some of you have said that even though I think I look grim. My daughter just sees her mum

VioletSky Tue 22-Aug-23 20:42:43

We all see what we don't like looking at pictures

She sees you as beauty and wants you on her wall

That is so special

Greyduster Tue 22-Aug-23 21:30:04

Over the years, I can count on one hand the number of photos of myself I would give any seal of approval to. I avoid cameras like the plague!

Daisydaisydaisy Thu 24-Aug-23 11:56:23

I would give her another one too smile

SecondhandRose Thu 24-Aug-23 12:04:55

She loves you.

Nicolenet Thu 24-Aug-23 12:13:00

Ex boyfriend's Mum insisted that photo had to be enhanced digitally, photoshopped! The end result looked nothing like her but she was happy. Could your DD arrange that with yours before final print. Good luck!

Witzend Thu 24-Aug-23 12:17:11

Sympathies, OP! Virtually every photo anyone takes of me now is awful! I try to avoid cameras!

In your place I’d tell your dd that you absolutely hate that photo and unless she’s deliberately trying to upset you, she’ll ditch it.

Theexwife Thu 24-Aug-23 12:24:05

Other people are used to the way we look so they do not see a difference in you when we say it is a bad photo. That is the way we look.

When you use a mirror it is a reverse image therefore you look different in a photo and in real life, you are looking for the best you in a mirror either because of clothes, hair or make-up, over time your brain has learnt to ignore the flaws so a photo can be a shock especially when you study it with glasses on looking for every negative.

You are that person in the photo, as that is how others see you then they want that photo of you.

Bazza Thu 24-Aug-23 12:33:22

I also loathe having my photo taken and will avoid it if I can. I really believe that some people are just not photogenic, apparently it’s something to do with the symmetry of the features. Also, the camera loves some faces, such as Kate Moss, undoubtedly lovely looking, but I always think she looks far more beautiful in a photo, than live on tv. I was disappointed in my wedding photos when looking at the proofs, but fortunately the studio burned down before we ordered any!

suelld Thu 24-Aug-23 12:34:43

I love Messenger as it enables me to keep in contact with my family in Japan….but seeing myself on that video chat !!
Yikes - as you are speaking into a tablet or via the PC it seems to catch the most unflattering angle featuring double chins et al! Now I see an aging person in my mirror, but on video chatting she has changed into a completely different ‘blob’!
Photos are luckily not taken too often…!