Unflattering photo

We see all our faults and wrinkles - and they see 'Mum'!

That is the truth of it. I recently had some pictures taken with my grandson when I had given him a present which is now his favourite toy. We were looking at the instruction leaflet together - he's under 3 so couldn't read it but I was trying to work out how some parts worked. I was looking down at the instruction sheet so the photos all show my thinning hair with scalp showing through! Initially I hated those pictures but realised it was a brief time of real closeness so I need to get over myself! I normally try to keep my head up to hide my bald bits!

It’s tragic isn’t it that all us older ladies could quite easily see the obvious issues here but no one senior in social services picked it up?

I hate having my photograph taken too, if I had my way there wouldn't have been any at the wedding but the later divorce meant I could dump those anyway.

Lots of my friends are of the same mind too apart from one who is always up at the front whenever there's someone taking pictures.

Just put it up when she’s coming ? ( I’ve got one of those of my husband & I,we hate it !)

Oh I feel your pain! I think I have reverse body dysmorphia. I look in the mirror before a night out and think ‘you look ok for an old bird! Hair looks good. New outfit. Can’t see the bumps…’ Then when I see a picture I don’t recognise the old fat woman with the red face and straggly hair. It appalls me that that’s how other people see me 😂 but hey ho, I know I’m slim and beautiful with shaggy blond hair and long legs - even if no one else does 🤣🤣🤣

Advice I heard from as always look at photos taken ten years ago..you will be surprised how much better you looked than you thought you did at the time ( hope that makes sense)

I have always hated my photos. On my hundredth birthday my son gave me a Photobook. of my photos from the age of nine months to the present day.

Some people are photogenic;
the rest are not.
Some people are attention seekers and love all cameras;
others hate having their picture taken.
Some people hate the way they look in all pictures, no matter what;
It’s hard to accept that’s how we look!
Maybe we all need to smile more in all pictures.

If your daughter wants to hang your picture, how about going to have a nice portrait taken with a profession photographer? They will do you right and you’ll be proud to have your daughter hang your picture. You will always have that one good picture you like!

What wasn’t said by you (OP), does the picture also include your daughter? Maybe she loves the way she looks and wants to be on exhibit. Some people are like that, they don’t care what everyone else looks like - just them.
USA Gundy

DO you look like Jabba the Hutt?

My DIL has a habit of taking photos when you’re not using and most unflattering. Then posts them on her Facebook account so everyone in her family and my ex can see them. I’ve told her not to put any photos with me in it on her social media pages but she doesn’t listen. I’m really cross when it happens. I don’t have FB etc but hear from my other son that he has seen them.

I didn't used to mind having my photo taken, was regarded as attractive, but my current hate is when people want to interact with video catch-ups!! Really do not look the same as when I look in the mirror - don't even recognise me!!??😱

Bazza, I agree about some people whom the camera "loves". My sister is one. She has a divinely pretty face but is apt to come over as shy and awkward in real life. When she is practising her profession, however, she acquires an air of true authority.

I'm another who hates having photos taken. My family are always posting pictures on Facebook - I have told them that if any of me show up, they are out of the Will !!!!

She likes the photo and I assume it is her own wall she is putting it on, so unless you and she live together, just sit with your back to it when you visit.

I have yet to see a photo of myself that I like. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a photo in one of my albums of a very pretty young woman of twenty- something .

"What a pretty and charming person, " said I to myself, "Wonder who she is?"

Myself replied to me, "That is us, you silly old fool, and if I remember rightly you did not like that photo at all the year it was taken - more fool you. Bit of all right then, I say!"

Another photo-phobe here. I absolutely hate having my picture taken. I wasn’t on DD1s first wedding pic, as my DF was ill and I had to take him home! I was caught on a few group pics at DD2s wedding and at DD1s second, I look as if I have a black turkey on my head - a rather flamboyant hat!
However, everyone says DD2 looks like me, so I was ok when I was younger, but never liked the camera then, whereas she loves it.
Jabbs the Hutt was the term I used, when I caught sight of myself on the loo at DD1s in her en suite’s mirrored wall - scared the life out of myself!

Just find one of yourself that you like, have it printed and ask if she would frame that instead.

Just let her use what she wants and keep smiling.
I hate having my photo taken and have been known to duck down out of view. The one in DD's wedding album is me exactly, I did not know it had been taken and had just sworn as I scrapped my shoe heel, someone heard made a comment and the photographer had pounced.
I have been told on numerous occasions by DH I look as if someone has just stuck something up my bottom!!!!

Bazza

I also loathe having my photo taken and will avoid it if I can. I really believe that some people are just not photogenic, apparently it’s something to do with the symmetry of the features. Also, the camera loves some faces, such as Kate Moss, undoubtedly lovely looking, but I always think she looks far more beautiful in a photo, than live on tv. I was disappointed in my wedding photos when looking at the proofs, but fortunately the studio burned down before we ordered any!

I totally agree with you on that. I am the polar opposite of photogenic. I look hideous in real life - 10 times more so in photographs.

I love Messenger as it enables me to keep in contact with my family in Japan….but seeing myself on that video chat !!
Yikes - as you are speaking into a tablet or via the PC it seems to catch the most unflattering angle featuring double chins et al! Now I see an aging person in my mirror, but on video chatting she has changed into a completely different ‘blob’!
Photos are luckily not taken too often…!

I also loathe having my photo taken and will avoid it if I can. I really believe that some people are just not photogenic, apparently it’s something to do with the symmetry of the features. Also, the camera loves some faces, such as Kate Moss, undoubtedly lovely looking, but I always think she looks far more beautiful in a photo, than live on tv. I was disappointed in my wedding photos when looking at the proofs, but fortunately the studio burned down before we ordered any!

Other people are used to the way we look so they do not see a difference in you when we say it is a bad photo. That is the way we look.

When you use a mirror it is a reverse image therefore you look different in a photo and in real life, you are looking for the best you in a mirror either because of clothes, hair or make-up, over time your brain has learnt to ignore the flaws so a photo can be a shock especially when you study it with glasses on looking for every negative.

You are that person in the photo, as that is how others see you then they want that photo of you.

Sympathies, OP! Virtually every photo anyone takes of me now is awful! I try to avoid cameras!

In your place I’d tell your dd that you absolutely hate that photo and unless she’s deliberately trying to upset you, she’ll ditch it.

Ex boyfriend's Mum insisted that photo had to be enhanced digitally, photoshopped! The end result looked nothing like her but she was happy. Could your DD arrange that with yours before final print. Good luck!

She loves you.

I would give her another one too