Feeling overwhelmed

Thank you. farview Could your grandson be of some help to you? I'm sure you would have thought of all possibilities.

I’m so sorry Farview, you have a lot on your plate so don’t be afraid to have a moan here. I do think you need to have an honest talk with your family and see what help they can offer, also your GP. Do you have local friends you could walk the dog with? Sometimes just a chat in the open air can help. You work so hard, I do think you need some time for you. Take care.

Kate1949 - hope things work out for you and you feel better soon

Poor you, sadness coming at a hundred miles an hour and expecting you can do what you did ten or twenty years ago. I hesitate to ask, but is the dog an essential? Or the grandchildren? Maybe they are, in which case something else will have to go because there aren’t enough hours in the day for you to do everything to your own high standards. I am not surprised you are exhausted as well as sad; perhaps some sort of family discussion is needed? Looking after your husband is hard and you need to look after yourself. Is your family so used to you coping that they don’t see how tough things have become? I hope you can share your feelings with someone close to the situation who could help.

Oh farview - so sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. I love your name - is that a reflection of the stunning views from your house ? You are lucky to have that….
TBH you are doing far too much - no wonder you feel the way you do. I don’t know what your financial position is. Why don’t you employ someone to do all the jobs that need doing? Just a handyman. You can supervise and give him directions. You are obviously very good at d.I.y. (I can’t even hammer a nail in the wall) but you need to ease a bit. None of us are getting younger.
Sorry about your H. Its hard…..hope you feel better soon

farview, we have to adjust as we go along, depending on our circumstances and our state of health (mental and physical). We all need a break and/or change of routine sometimes. You can't be Superwoman - and neither can I. I know, I've tried in the past and ended up just frazzled.

At almost 70, I don't have the energy or stamina I used to. I'd never vacuum the whole house at once. A couple of rooms and I'm done. I have shopping delivered and limit my time with grandchildren. If my grandson is staying, he walks the dog in the mornings.

My windows are not clean and I'm thinking of getting a window cleaner, maybe somebody to cut the grass and hedges, too. Neighbours have always had help with these things - and a cleaner too.

The house never was perfect, yet still, I've lowered my standards these days, to suit my energy levels - and great lack of interest or motivation. Nobody else cares if the place is tidy, after all.

So, it's time to make some changes, ask for help - and maybe spend your own money to make your life easier and less stressful.

farview I can’t read and run. I am so sorry that you are in these circumstances and you need to look after yourself.
Perhaps a family conference to let them know you are not coping, and ask them to help you. If they can’t help practically, can they help you with a little bit of time off, to visit the hairdresser etc.
Talk to your GP about what help you can access.
Best wishes.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with/feeling like this. If it's any consolation, I am feeling the same. Life has spiralled out of control. However this is about you not me. Is there someone you can talk to? Do you have a friend or someone? I'm sure someone will be along here to give you more helpful advice than I can.