Whatever happened to 'ladylike'?

the ubiquity of porn is seen in much of this, esp the posing/pouting.
young girls think that is a sign of sophistication.

The latest abomination (to me) is what they apparently call ‘scrunch bum’ leggings. The first time I saw some - pink or flesh colour maybe 20 yards away - I honestly thought the girl had gone out with not just no trousers, but no knickers, either.

Dickens, I agree with you. Women need to acquire the same sort of power men have. I believe a lot of it is based around ownership of land and property and means of earning a living. Men for centuries have set the bar high and what is really annoying them in modern times is that we can control our fertility and whether we decide to give birth or not. We are therefore more free to challenge and enter their world, and demand by right what they have. What's more we win that right - it is not given to us. I hate that expression - my husband allows me to do this, that or the next thing. I earned my money all my life and no one tells me how I will spend it once I have paid my whack into the house. I cannot believe the number of women who don't even have their name equally on the property. One of the best things my mother ever taught all her daughters was to look after ourselves first, last and always as men have done it for centuries and it hasn't done them any harm. Thanks Mum.

Devorgilla

Love that quotation Biglouis. It reminded me of two of my mother's:
"A woman's dress should be tight enough to show she is a woman but loose enough to show she is a lady".
"Skirts so short they are up to his expectations".
Sadly, a lot of woman believe that it empowers them because they are taking control of their bodies and using them as they want. When I see men strutting around half naked with transparent codpieces, I'll know semi-nakedness empowers. It really irritates me when I see newly elected young female MPs/CEOs etc
photographed lounging/leaning on a desk. Where are the men's photos like that?
Having said that, because I believe in freedom, I would defend on the barricades their right to dress as they please as long as I am afforded the same right.

Sadly, a lot of woman believe that it empowers them because they are taking control of their bodies and using them as they want. When I see men strutting around half naked with transparent codpieces, I'll know semi-nakedness empowers.

I'm pleased to discover that I'm not alone in being cynical about this myth of women walking around half naked being 'empowering'.

When women who are overweight, women who've got sagging skin, cellulite, etc, can walk around without anyone making a comment - then I'll believe it's 'empowering'.

The only way women are empowered is when they have the same power as men. Young women striking the typical hand-on-hip pose, pouting sulkily and preening into the lens, are simply exhibiting the stereotype of 'sexually-available' femaleness.

Empowerment comes from what you are able to achieve - when societal rules don't prevent you from doing whatever it is you want to do. If posing half naked is what you want to do, then fair enough... but no man is ever going to challenge you over your 'right' to do that. Try to enter his domain and you will soon see the power imbalance.

Love that quotation Biglouis. It reminded me of two of my mother's:
"A woman's dress should be tight enough to show she is a woman but loose enough to show she is a lady".
"Skirts so short they are up to his expectations".
Sadly, a lot of woman believe that it empowers them because they are taking control of their bodies and using them as they want. When I see men strutting around half naked with transparent codpieces, I'll know semi-nakedness empowers. It really irritates me when I see newly elected young female MPs/CEOs etc
photographed lounging/leaning on a desk. Where are the men's photos like that?
Having said that, because I believe in freedom, I would defend on the barricades their right to dress as they please as long as I am afforded the same right.

Cadenza
At my granddaughters school the girls wear the same uniform as the boys: trousers.
It saves a lot of arguments and tears.

My standards really slip in a heatwave, too - as I want to be comfortable. My 'going out' linen trousers and cotton blouse are hanging on the door. As soon as I'm home, it's shorts and a vest, nothing else, but at least I don't appear in public like that.

Far worse when it is older people baring flesh, wrinkled skin, white veiny legs, saggy arms and a crinkly cleavage. I see more older people looking bad than I do younger people.

Well, Madonna’s daughter looks as miserable as sin!

What a mardy, ‘don’t want to be here’ expression.

Why not a lovely open smile? Why do they all have to look so cross and disagreeable?

Well there were hundreds of girls in the city last week going to the sixth form an an awful lot of them were the opposite of discreet. You wouldn't have thought that they were going to an establishment of learning. I was sent home from college for wearing trousers!

biglouis

My grandmother used to say that "a lady is a woman in whose presence a man becomes a gentleman".

But then she was born in the late Victorian era.

I love that quote and I'd say it is really true. Men do adjust their behaviour according to the company they're in. When amongst friends or maybe close family they can relax and do what comes naturally. But with ladies they don't know so well, or who are older they can be very different, no swearing at all and even table manners make an appearance. I remember the men were all as good as gold when my mother was around. She wasn't an ogre, just a lady.

My grandmother used to say that "a lady is a woman in whose presence a man becomes a gentleman".

But then she was born in the late Victorian era.

A very interesting thread.

Whether you think it's patriarchy or men oppressing women or not, the unvarnished truth is most decent men prefer women to dress and behave with decorum (at least in public). In other words to look and act like a lady.

And I think most women prefer their man to be a gentleman, rather than a boorish lout.

Behaving "like a lady" doesn't make you subservient or oppressed, quite the reverse, it sends out a clear signal that you have standards and values, that you have dignity and that you value your self worth.

Dressing and behaving "like a lady" tells people that you expect them to show courtesy and to treat you with respect.

I'll amend my post as apparently my post is harmful to young girls. 🤔

Madonna's daughter looks lovely, just how I'd want my DD or DGD to look.
Actually no, she doesn't, pictures like that are a bad influence on young girls.

I've had photos of various "celebrities" turning up on facebook with outfits and poses that mean I've seen almost as much of them as their gynaecologist. Another popular thing at the moment seems to be the bottoms of female volley ball players. Hopefully the girls don't read any of the comments. There seem to be a lot of sad men out there in their mothers' basements.

So somebody can say I am pathetic, but if I reply that I think they are miserable, my post gets deleted.

I don't recognise pictures like this OP, but I don't read magazines.
Young girls will wear what they want, as I'm sure we all did.
It's kind of nasty alluding to people's weight isn't it?
Saying a young girl looks hideous is a harmful thing to say.
Live and let live is what I say.
Although, I have to say, I did admire the chic style of Audrey Hepburn 🙂

nadateturbe

What about the tight leggings with thong showing. And shorts with cheeks showing.

Gross, no self respect any more. Let it all hang out, don't care what I look like. Audrey Hepburn would be horrified.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

not sure how Sam Heughan has managed to feature in this thread!

Chestnut

Ilovecheese

I hadn't noticed those pictures. I must read different publications.

Pictures of 'unladylike' females are all over the place. Here is Madonna's daughter Lourdes looking pretty darn awful in every way! You might think she is not typical but this type of look is seen more and more. Boundaries are being pushed. Women are being seen nearly naked all the time.

She looks hideous!

Is that a net garment or tattoos?

We saw plenty of exposed tattooed flesh today and that was just in Morrisons!

MerylStreep

Jaxjacky

The vast majority of young women don’t sit as the OP mentioned, neither do they wear indiscreet clothing, have false eyelashes or pay for ‘body enhancing’ surgery. They go to college, work, raise their children and are generally part of society.
But, you don’t see them in the tabloids who are always trying to increase their readership by featuring the extremes. They seem to succeed sometimes, hence this thread.

👏👏👏👏
I often wonder what world some members inhabit. Actually scrub that. They inhabit a world where they believe that what they see on tv or online is representative of all young women.
Pathetic really.

I think we all know that most young women don't dress or behave in extreme ways, although surely what is seen on TV and online does represent real people because the whole world is now accessible on our screens.

Mollygo

Short skirts come round again. I remember my parents commenting on mine. What makes me laugh is girls in short skirts, constantly hitching them down at the back.
My Nan sent me to the library with a note asking for a book called Shorter Skirts, by Seymour Nicks. it wasn’t till I read it aloud that I got the joke.

I might try that on DGD1 😁

Not for me. I am all about covering up.😂. I would love to have bare arms but they are not a pretty sight!

There does seem to be an unwritten law that the fatter a person is, the more flesh they are inclined to display.

There have been some wonderful sights to behold during this current hot spell.