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Message left in library book

(93 Posts)
eddiecat78 Mon 11-Sept-23 06:48:24

Whilst reading a library book late last night I found a hand written note which says
"Dear you
I hope you know you are capable, and brave, and significant, even when you feel like you are not
With love
A friend."
Whilst appreciating it was probably well intentioned I actually found it rather creepy - especially seeing it signed"with love from a friend".
My dilemma is what to do with it.
Leave it in the book for the next borrower or get rid of it?

Bella23 Mon 11-Sept-23 11:48:57

Wasn't there a trend quite a few years back for leaving "Upliftingmessages",in Libraray books. I've been in a holiday cottage where the books you could borrow had been bought by the yard and found a few notes in them.
Just ignore it, they're not meaning you personally. I hope you feel better soon and less vulnerable.
Better than the fried egg one of my DD's found when little we took it back and bought our own after that.flowers

Maggiemaybe Mon 11-Sept-23 11:37:27

I’m sure it was well-intentioned, and if it helps someone perhaps I should be more positive, but I find this sort of thing tiresome. We had a long-term supply teacher once who “did his rounds”, as he called it, every morning, giving each member of staff a little personalised life-affirming message and wishing us a blessed day, sometimes with a quick hug if he thought we looked “sad”. People were hiding in the toilets to avoid him. Add to that the young teacher who wanted us to start every day with a group hug in the staff room, and it started to get crowded in there.

eddiecat78 Mon 11-Sept-23 11:33:54

Aldon may I ask how you would have felt if the message had appeared shortly after the tragedy?
The problem with sending these supposedly uplifting notes, eg in a library book,to random people is that the sender has no idea about the recipient's current state of mind

Aldom Mon 11-Sept-23 11:25:41

About two weeks ago a three line quotation randomly appeared on my phone. It came from Survivors of Suicide. I've never heard of this group before. But I'm five years in to 'surviving' my son's suicide.
Those three lines spoke to me as no others have. Five years on I was ready to hear those words. They have helped me rationalise something I couldn't come to terms with before.
I feel ever so slightly better for reading and contemplating on those words. Whoever wrote them had clearly travelled the long dark road that is Surviving Suicide.

Kate1949 Mon 11-Sept-23 11:03:05

I hope she does.

Callistemon21 Mon 11-Sept-23 10:59:01

Kate1949

'I knew all that without some stranger having to tell me'. Not everyone does though.

But if eddiecat says it she will begin to believe it.

Kate1949 Mon 11-Sept-23 10:53:42

'I knew all that without some stranger having to tell me'. Not everyone does though.

Callistemon21 Mon 11-Sept-23 10:47:56

flowers from me too, eddiecat

lemsip Mon 11-Sept-23 10:43:55

just flick through your books before leaving the library next time!

Foxygloves Mon 11-Sept-23 10:43:54

Callistemon21

Just shred it and say out loud "I knew all that without some stranger having to tell me!" 🙂

Love this- good advice
PS we could have told that too.
Hope things improve for you very soon 💐 💐

Woollywoman Mon 11-Sept-23 10:38:04

There’s been an exhibition recently of things found in library books… some library workers collect the notes, shopping lists etc they find, so maybe you can find a collector if it makes you feel better?
I heard of someone who found a bacon rasher being used as a bookmark…!

Kate1949 Mon 11-Sept-23 10:33:42

eddiecat. I'm sorry you are having a bad time. Re the note. I wouldn't feel validated but a few supportive words can never do any harm. I'm sure the person who left the note had the best of intentions.

Baggs Mon 11-Sept-23 10:25:37

Bin it and stop making it into an issue. You are probably over-sensitive because of "not being in a great place" right now. Hope you feel better soon 🌸🌹

Callistemon21 Mon 11-Sept-23 10:17:56

Just shred it and say out loud "I knew all that without some stranger having to tell me!" 🙂

eddiecat78 Mon 11-Sept-23 10:06:57

Kate1949

I think it's lovely. For those of us who have been in what they call these days 'a dark place' those words could be a life saver. Maybe the person who put the note there had been through the mill and knows that a few supportive words can be a boon.

I don't know Kate, I'm not in a great place myself at the moment but being validated by someone who doesn't know me from Adam didn't help in the slightest!

M0nica Mon 11-Sept-23 10:06:43

I d not see how an anonymous message left as a part of a current trend to confuse meaningless gestures that make the instigator feel good with actually doing a kindness, possibly at some sacrifice for someone, can possible be meaningful to anyone. The message and its acceptance by some chance person who sees it is all about the person sending it and has nothing to do with the recipient.

merlotgran Mon 11-Sept-23 09:59:45

Just chuck it.

Not your circus, not your monkey!

Kate1949 Mon 11-Sept-23 09:47:38

I think it's lovely. For those of us who have been in what they call these days 'a dark place' those words could be a life saver. Maybe the person who put the note there had been through the mill and knows that a few supportive words can be a boon.

Louella12 Mon 11-Sept-23 09:38:00

It's vomit inducing actually.

There's a trend on Tiktok when someone who is sitting alone is confronted by a kind soul who thrusts a note into their hand. Telling them how beautiful they are etc etc.
They then end up on Tiktok in a highly intrusive invasion of their privacy. A lady in Australia actually went to the police to complain. Sometimes they're given a bunch of flowers. All done by so called influences for likes.

You see them wearing t shirts with an awful message on the back telling the person reading it that they are wonderful etc etc

Then they get filmed.

Ridiculous.

JenniferEccles Mon 11-Sept-23 09:28:33

It’s not at all creepy, more a sign of the times. My first thought was, very Meghan Markle.

In fact a whole industry has grown up urging us all to think of ourselves as wonderful, special, deserving etc.

Whether or not I would leave it in the book when I returned it to the library, would depend on my whim on the day!

Calendargirl Mon 11-Sept-23 09:17:39

A church near us has a huge sign outside “You Are Loved”.

By whom? Jesus, God, The Vicar, the congregation…..?

Personally, I just don’t think it necessary, but realise that is probably just me.

Also wonder how much the sign cost in these straightened times for churches.

maddyone Mon 11-Sept-23 09:15:29

I’d throw it in the recycling.

Scribbles Mon 11-Sept-23 09:12:28

I wouldn't describe it as creepy but I do think it's arrogant and tiresome to leave these mawkish little homilies around, whether as physical notes or random postings on FB.
Into the bin with it!

eddiecat78 Mon 11-Sept-23 09:05:23

BlueBelle

It has been a ‘ thing’ for a long while to leave little notes around and so far this is the first time I ve heard ANYONE think it’s creepy, there are often posts on FB saying ‘I found this today on my walk it’s made my day’ and a picture of a painted pebble and message or a message in a plastic bag or a little tiny crochet animal or bug with have a lovely day message on it

The next person to get the book hopefully will understand and appreciate it

I think the fact that I discovered it in my own home does make it feel more personal. It is almost like having an anonymous note posted through your letter box

MayBee70 Mon 11-Sept-23 09:03:02

eddiecat78

I just think that if you were feeling a bit paranoid you could be very freaked out by someone anonymous claiming to be your friend!

I agree. I think it would depend on what frame of mind I was in when I found something like that. The message is ok I guess, it’s the over familiarity that’s a bit creepy.