The other in laws .Are you alike or different.?

One set are my ex husband and his now wife. We have spent time with them even occasionally staying with them and see them at family events. Second set are lovely, different from my partner and we have also stayed with them. Again see at family get togethers. Sons in laws we don’t see so much but always friendly when we do. Lucky to get on with them all.

We have three daughters and three lots, two of in-laws, one of out-laws. Educational levels all the same. Outlaws very pleasant and politically aligned with us but are interested in maths and sciences rather than humanities and the arts like us. We get on fine. 2nd daughter's in-laws we are closest to, really lovely people and totally in accord over Europe. 3rd daughter's in-laws also lovely people but the opposite to us politically and on Europe. We get on fine if we steer clear of those topics. We are lucky.

DS's in laws are a lovely couple, a bit younger than us. They have 4 other GC apart from our mutual 2 & they are very hands on with them. They are very easy going & dress extremely casually which seemed strange at first when they arrived at DS's 21st many years ago in T shirts & jeans & we were all formally dressed as it was a smart venue. It was the first time we'd met them & we were a bit taken aback. However, they are very friendly & extremely kind although we don't see them very often. Our ex in laws - parents of DD's ex - were very hard work. He definitely had a very inflated ego, thought he was the bee's knees & that our DD wasn't good enough. His wife was in his shadow, it was quite sad really. He made a fuss about the wedding & made both bride & groom very anxious beforehand as he wanted a bigger marquee as he thought his friends wouldn't appreciate the one we'd chosen. He wanted prosecco not the Pimms the couple had chosen & supplied his own. Not a very nice man at all. We miss his son who was a lovely chap but definitely not his father!

DS1 has been married to his second wife for 25 years, DIL’s parents were divorced when they married and DIL was closer to her father than her mother so we saw more of him, he was a lovely man and sadly died 4 years ago. DIL’s mother died recently but had very little contact with DIL and her grandchildren for about 10 years, the younger grandchildren didn’t really know her. DS2 has been married for 31 years, his MIL and FIL were married for 62 years when his FIL died in January. Over the years we have become close to DIL’s family and are always invited to family celebrations, we feel lucky to have them in our lives.

I think it’s best to just be civil and respectful towards the other in-laws. If you’re not fond of them and think they are kooks or weird, they’re sitting there thinking the same of you!

In a few hours it will all be over and you can go home. Just be nice for the sake of the kids.
USA Gundy

As different as chalk and cheese here

DD’s lovely MiL is nothing like me* - she’s one of those people who never sit down - always busy doing something useful.

I don’t mind admitting to being a thoroughly lazy baggage - one reason I enjoy knitting is that it’s a sitting-down job. Plus of course it does eventually produce something, though nowadays I only make things that are actively wanted or needed.

I cannot mention anything about DS's two sets of in laws as it would ''out'' me in not a nice way.
As for my own in laws, I never knew my FIL as he had died before I met DH. My MIL was a nightmare, her one redeeming feature was she was loved by my DC, they always were happy to see her, she was very kind to them.

kittylester

Calli well I am!!! Though not as bad as DS2's MIL.

Who - me?
I didn't say anything!!

I've had practice 🤐

‘DS2’s wife had a mil who was a nightmare ‘

Don’t be so hard on yourself Kitty 😂

We have an only child, so only one set of 'other' in laws.
They are nothing at all like us, in any way, and we're sure that they dislike us just as much as we dislike them!

One pair of in-laws are now deceased. I liked them very much and was really upset when first she and, later he, became very ill and died. Another son's MiL lives far away so I don't see her often. When we do meet, we don't appear to have much in common except our mutual grandsons.

At my daughter's wedding the drunk best man confided in me. He said 'you know J has had girlfriends before but when we met S we told him strongly that he couldn't let this one escape!'

As different as chalk and cheese.

Calli well I am!!! Though not as bad as DS2's MIL.

We only have one set of ILs. We met at the wedding, and they seem very nice, but we don't see them, as they live miles away. They are younger than us, and I don't think we have lot in common, but that's ok, as it's not a close relationship.

Our son arranged a Big Night Out in the spring for all of us (he and DIL, the ILs and us). I couldn't attend because of illness, but Mr D went, and said it was a great night. My own parents and ILs rarely saw one another, and that seemed natural as doing so would have had to be by arrangement because of the distance.

My ILs made a good job of bringing up their daughter, who makes our son happy, so I like them for that

Both sets from DDs two marriages - totally different. Nothing in common at all.

Both of SIL's parents died when he was a teenager but I think we would have got on well if they were anything like him.
DIL's parents live at the other end of the country so we rarely meet. They are well educated and enjoy a good social life in their very nice village. Adventurous holidays feature highly but they do not come up north very often. Nothing to dislike about them except they seem to give preference to GSs from DIL's sibling.

We get on with three sets of in-laws extremely well, like minded in lots of ways (which I suppose is why our children get on so well)

One has just one parent left, see at Christmas & birthdays occasionally, nothing in common.

One is single.

One has no surviving parents.

kittylester I had to smile when I read

DS2's wife had a mother-in-law who was a nightmare...

It made me wonder what the in-laws think of me!
At DDs wedding I told her new DH that he was my first SiL. "And you're my first MiL" came the reply!

We have an assortment!!

DS1 married while living in Japan so we only met his parent's in law at the wedding. He is now divorced.

DS2's wife had a mother in law who was a nightmare and contributed to the breakdown of that relationship. His partner's parents live close to us and are friendly but her mother is quite determined!!!

DD1 married someone who grew up in this village. His fayher died when he was in his mid teens and his mother has now moved to the coast. We have a good relationship with her though little in common apart from the dgc.

DD2's parents in law were huge fun but sadly both recently died. Her husband has embraced being part of our family and is one of my favourite sons in law.

DD3 has been married twice and both sets of in laws are a nightmare. Luckily, they have no contact with the first set and the second set live abroad and never come to the UK.

I really hope that we are kind, loving and helpful inlaws.

We are on cordial terms with the 2 remaining parents of our children but we don’t see them often. As to my own MIL, she was very different and we got on ok but not much in common. Long gone now and, looking back, she was a good woman who brought up her 2 sons alone just after the war because my FIL died in 1945. Destined to be alone - we emigrated and the other son had nothing much to do with her.

Interesting discussion.

DD1 has 2 sets, since her DH's parents divorced and remarried. His mum is a bit of a hippy free spirit, partner is a fishing charter operator. Lovely people. SIL's dad and partner are retired, active golfers, and have a second home quite far away so we don't see them often. We see both sets at DD1's house occasionally, but have never had them to ours, or been to theirs.

DS2 has FIL living in town, single divorced and quite involved in their family. We regularly have him around for family dinners. DIL doesn't see her mum very often as she lives in another province.

DS3 just recently married, DIL's parents are lovely and fun to be around. DS3 and DIL have just announce pregnancy, and I have a feeling that they will be more involved in day to day with grandchildren than us, as she is close to her mum.

Our first son’s wife has lost both her parents, although we met her mother several times before she died. She was pleasant and a little shy. She loved her family very much and was loved in return. She was nice to our son and he to her.
Our second son’s partner has very pleasant parents who are a bit older than us and so they travel less and seem to have a quieter lifestyle. They live in a different area and so we only meet them when they are visiting our son and his partner, but that means about once or twice a year, usually birthdays or Christmas. One year we all four were invited to spend a week in a house in France that our son had taken with his partner and our grandson. The other parents didn’t want to drive abroad and so they drove up to us and left their car on our drive and we did the driving. It was a lovely week all together and especially with our little grandson.
Our daughter had parents in law who were not much like us, but we were always polite with them when we saw them at birthdays and so on. After our daughter’s marriage collapsed I decided I don’t want anything to do with the parents again for a number of reasons, but eventually and finally because the mother told my daughter to’f… off.’

We have 1 DS and 3 DDs.
DS in laws don’t live locally. They are ok but we have little in common with them especially the FIL who goes to the pub all the time and says very little.
DD1 has older in laws. They are kind people. They love reading and the opera, theatre etc. We see them occasionally and get on well. Again very little in common.
DD2’s in laws live quite near. They’re 10 years older than us and still busy in their jobs. We spent Christmas with them last year and got on very well.
We hardly know DD3’s in laws. They went to live abroad about 10 years ago and we haven’t seen them for a very long time although they do come and visit twice a year. We have nothing at all in common with them and they are drinkers which we most certainly are not!