Why do young non-grandparents frequent Gransnet?

I don't mind what age people are posting on Gransnet. I just get a little fed up with all the world's woes being blamed on The Boomers. Its unfair. We did the best we could for our families at the time. We weren't aware that it would seem u fair to future generations. No one knows what today's adults grandchildren are going to feel. Angry at advantages they had or angry that they didn't do more. Each generation does what they feel is right at the time.

They want to sample the wisdom that comes with age. Of course, in some cases, age just comes along on its own!

Why not?

I’m not a Gran, but have adult children and am over 50. Obviously that makes me a mum, so I fit the profile of both boards. I have no issue with people of any age using either, other than when people suggest that being older is equivalent to being closed-minded or behind the times. There are those on both boards who are guilty of that, but equally there are plenty of posters (again on both boards) who are neither.

NotSpaghetti

Why do some Gransnet members (whose children are now adults) go on Mumsnnet? And mums go on sites for children?

Maybe because lives aren't in boxes and our thoughts and ideas straddle different things. We want to know what the "other side" thinks or ask what the other age group used to do - or discover if they all have similar thoughts on something - and what the concensus might be...

They may want to put an alternative view. They may think their insight can help someone older understand something.

Our life experience as mothers 30 plus years ago is different to mums now - and as M0nica says they may want the opinion of 'grandparents and the over 50s' on problems in their lives.

I think you may as well ask why do any of us use the site.

Those Gnetters on Mumsnet are also mothers, so do fit the profile. The Mumsnetters who seem to have drifted over often don't seem to.

Well, Teribull - regarding the why do retired people insist on shopping on Saturdays when they've got all the week to do whatever they need to do thoughts, I do wonder that myself about my 99 year old mother-in-law who has always shopped on a Saturday - from before I met her in 1976!

Obviously it's habit- but it does seem ridiculous to then complain about the queues!

I don't think she is "cluttering the place up" but I do regularly wonder why she continues to do it!

Wonder if they might start a great gransnet? We’ve got 5 of those as well as all the grandchildren. I’m not that old, some of my lot started young ! I was a great grandma by the time I was 63, grandma at 45.

I think that perhaps younger grandmothers might just be so excited about becoming grandparents that they want to be part of the granny conversation and possibly learn useful tips about what and what not to do as new grandmothers. Where else would you find such useful help than from a site that is specifically for grandmothers?

Buttonjugs

I’m over 50 and have grandkids but I read Mumsnet more than Gransnet, not sure why it just seems to have more posts. I know there are people on both sites who don’t have kids and a few men too. It’s just where you feel you connect I suppose.

I look occasionally and it makes me laugh.
Not as serious as GN!

Well said Buttonjugs. We go where we feel most comfortable

I’m over 50 and have grandkids but I read Mumsnet more than Gransnet, not sure why it just seems to have more posts. I know there are people on both sites who don’t have kids and a few men too. It’s just where you feel you connect I suppose.

When I was a child it was children who were supposed to leave buses for older people to use, or at least stand up to let them sit down.

When I was a young mum, we were supposed to avoid shops, banks and the Post Office during lunch hours and rush hours when working people might want to use them.

Now I am retired it is pensioners who are taking up houses and living lives of luxury at the expense of the young.

It seems I have always been on the wrong side of history

TerriBull

Callistemon21

Ageism is rife on Mumsnet and is getting worse on here, and is not picked up on often enough IMO. Comments about people thinking as they do because they are old, or that a point of view is held by younger people so must be more valuable just because of that are lazy and reductive, whether they are said by older or younger people

I should have RTWT first because this is what I am trying to say, but Doodledog puts it more succinctly.

Ageism can be rife on MN, I particularly remember this post, apropos of a thread about shopping I think. It went something along the lines of "Why on earth do retired people insist on cluttering up the high street on Saturdays when they've got all the week to do whatever they need to do"

cluttering up the High Street 😂😂😂

I can remember when I was in my 20s, rushing around in my lunch hour to do some shopping, complaining about the "Plastic Mac and Sandals Brigade" that came into our seaside town on wet weekdays.
They weren't necessarily old, though.
Just meandering slowly, gazing at things in the shops.

Not the forums but in RL. Overheard on the bus are older people with bus passes complaining about the noisy school kids and teens who now also have bus passes and sit downstairs when they could easily climb the stairs and don't give up their seats to older folk.
We all complain silently about the enormous prams/buggies which take up half the bus.
Human nature I fear.

I remember people online saying the same about mothers with prams years ago . People can be very blinkered, and only see the point of view of their own circumstances.

Callistemon21

^Ageism is rife on Mumsnet and is getting worse on here, and is not picked up on often enough IMO. Comments about people thinking as they do because they are old, or that a point of view is held by younger people so must be more valuable just because of that are lazy and reductive, whether they are said by older or younger people^

I should have RTWT first because this is what I am trying to say, but Doodledog puts it more succinctly.

Ageism can be rife on MN, I particularly remember this post, apropos of a thread about shopping I think. It went something along the lines of "Why on earth do retired people insist on cluttering up the high street on Saturdays when they've got all the week to do whatever they need to do"

4allweknow

I withdrew from Mumsnet and all other forums where the majority of participants were young people. Gave up trying to "mix" after being told by young people where I live that all the houses nearby were meant for young people and families. In other words, move. I have lived here longer than most, some residents will be in 40/50s. Wonder if they will move in 10/15 years time when they too are regarded as old by their currentt standards. Sign of the times I'm afraid older people just not welcome other than for cheap or free childminding of course!

I'd ask them to find me somewhere suitable to move to.

Anyway, our family come home to stay for visits, it wouldn't be possible if we downsized to what Mumsnetters might consider suitable for two old codgers.

I withdrew from Mumsnet and all other forums where the majority of participants were young people. Gave up trying to "mix" after being told by young people where I live that all the houses nearby were meant for young people and families. In other words, move. I have lived here longer than most, some residents will be in 40/50s. Wonder if they will move in 10/15 years time when they too are regarded as old by their currentt standards. Sign of the times I'm afraid older people just not welcome other than for cheap or free childminding of course!

I am nearly 59 (still can’t quite believe it) and not yet a grandma but l hope I may be one day. I enjoy mumsnet and most people there are kind and well-meaning, as they are here, but some things there make me quite cross. The first is the terrible language used by so many posters - completely unnecessary. Also, some people there are extremely entitled. The biggest thing for me, though, is the rampant ageism there. I was born in December 1964 so am at the end of the boomers and on the cusp of generation x. However, the ageism seems to be aimed at everyone over the age of 50 and boomers seems to almost be another swear word. Apparently, we all have gold-plated pensions and live in large houses that we bought for peanuts and are now worth millions. We are selfish because we have used so many resources. What they forget is the disparities in our age groups. The oldest boomers, born in the forties, grew up in austerity and remember rationing. The youngest of us, born in the sixties, did have an easier time of it as times were more prosperous. I, personally, benefited from higher education grants, for example. However, 1964 was the year that the most babies were born since the end of the Second World War. New schools were being built but they were not big enough so “temporary” classrooms were continually being added on. 35 was a small class. By the eighties, when we were leaving school, there was a time of high unemployment. I was fortunate because I was one of the 10% who went on to higher education. In the nineties, many people had negative equity on their mortgages and repossessions were at an all-time high. This is rarely acknowledged on mumsnet except by us “oldies.”
I hope that most of us are tolerant to the very elderly. When I am behind an elderly lady who is fumbling with her purse l remind myself that this could well be me in twenty or thirty years’ time and hope that someone will be patient with me.

The few whose posts I have read and who have stated they are not grandparents were quite openly asking advice of our age group,

Either in an effort to understand their own parents, or their children's grandparents or simply because they belong to an endagered spieces - of those who realise that with the years comes experience and perhaps wisdom as well.

I find it heartening to know that our experence of life can be useful to younger generations, so to me they are heartily welcome.

• For the perspective we have about living a full life
• For wisdom they haven’t fully acquired yet that come from lessons learned
• From those lessons learned, the ability to know how to control emotions in certain situations

That said…

I still have to remind myself we live on the very tail end of the Victorian Era, a time when social norms, patriarchy and stricter morals ruled. There are still some seniors who are living in that vacuum. I see it here, IDK about over there. If any young person is navigating a tough emotional situation with a senior - not everyone from that era has evolved yet. Be respectful, have some empathy. Gen Z, millennials will end up doing what they want anyway - after consulting the sounding board.
USA Gundy

I think a lot of people use both, LPB.

Sorry if someone else has said this but GransNet is owned (I think) by Mumsnet and perhaps people on one link to the other?

Over 60 but not a granny yet! I was originally looking for menopause advice before it became trendy to be menopausal!

How on earth do you manage to get kicked off Mumsnet lol?

Seems quite a robust, say it to your face space from what I have seen