Why do young non-grandparents frequent Gransnet?

Because I got chucked off mumsnet!

I never think about ages.
I can't guess at the ages of people on here.

It's nice that it really doesn't matter.

Chat sites are pretty much open to all unless, like some groups
on Facebook, they are private and zero tolerance from moderators. I guess some people are genuinely interested in other points of view but some just lurk as on FB.

It us good to see different attitudes, we have a lot to learn from each other.

eddiecat78, All should be welcome - and, let's not forget, we can be absolutely anyone on a forum. I could be young, single, childless and male - just pretending to be a granny. The rest of you would never know.

In light of that, the question seems irrelevant.

Hmm, I am not a gran yet and a couple of years off 50 but most of my friends are grans and so I feel comfortable here

Feeling curious, looking for advice, hoping for support, and stirring the pot seem to be the main reasons - the very same ones that Gransnetters seem to have for checking out posts and threads on here, especially those that can have varying POVs expressed - politics, estrangement, gender identity - to name but a few.

I don't remember this sort of thing when I was young, but maybe I just notice it more now that I'm not?
There wasn't, there was more tolerance and generosity of spirit for older people then.

Not the impatience that is around today that is evident even on Gransnet for someone (whether old or slower for whatever reason) taking a bit of time at the checkout, resentment that apparently we had it better than they have it now (really?) and derision at those whose looks may have faded or whose style is not the same as their daughters or granddaughters.

just today one poster stated bluntly that all elderly white people are racist
Even those married to someone of a different race?
😂

All the above reasons, and it can add a bit of interest to the site, but there was at least one occasion when a couple of bored Mumsnetters came over here just to do a bit of stirring, to wind the old biddies up. I saw the thread on Mumsnet egging them on, and chortling at the GN answers. But that hasn’t happened for a few years to my knowledge, thank goodness.

I do really like Mumsnet, though. The threads move so quickly there is rarely time for personal animosity, and there are some very knowledgeable and quick-witted posters on there. There is ageism of course - just today one poster stated bluntly that all elderly white people are racist. Other Mumsnetters jumped on the post though, and it was quickly deleted.

mumofmadboys

I 'm not a gran yet but live in hope. I'm 65 and hope I'm welcome on GN.

Me neither, I live in hope too. I think there are lots of us who aren’t grandparents yet, and some who never will be, but are in the over 50s category. There are less under 50s,, but I like them being here, it all adds variety, and if they have similar interests it’s a good place to come.

I 'm not a gran yet but live in hope. I'm 65 and hope I'm welcome on GN.

baby things, school things, mil things etc. DH doing whatever.
Which is all fine.
But I think that is what my DDs and Dils are , stage of life.

Katie59

I’m sure some do it to get an alternative perspective, the interaction is much less combative and direct compared to Mumsnet, yet the issues are very similar.

I am not on there very often, so you may be right.
But I find that the things on there are often " my life 30 years ago" type things.

There just seems to be much more of it lately.

There really is. Everything seems to be seen in terms of either/or - if pensions rise it means that benefits can't. If older people get free TV licences it means that childcare costs can't be subsidised and so on.

That is nonsense, but is the message pushed by the government all the time. I've been watching the awful Jeremy Vine, who is a case in point. He goes on (and on and on) about so-called 'Boomers', and is at extreme pains to point out that he is a few years shy of being one himself, as though the five years or so that lifts him out of the grouping is more important than the 20 years that it includes. Today's topic was whether benefits should be triple locked 'to keep them in line with pensions'. Why not just ask the question about benefits? Why does the fact that pensions are triple locked matter in that context? Maybe benefits need to be quadruple locked, or doubled, or only given to people who act as servants to pensioners (). What happens to pensions is separate and has no bearing, but is always linked as though pensions are taking away from younger people.

The utter contempt for pensioners who dare to have bought a house, and made extra provision for retirement is horrible. It is undeniable that there is a housing crisis, and that many young people are struggling to afford to either rent or buy. But why does that have to be set against the fact that some pensioners (albeit largely those in the SE) have made significant profits on their homes? Maybe geographical inequality needs to be levelled out, maybe there should be allowances for young people to help them? Maybe there should be tax advantages to encourage people (of any age) to downsize and free up family houses? Or housing allowances given to people moving from North to South? There are all sorts of possible solutions, but the issue is always presented as being the fault of older people who are just living in the homes they paid for. I don't understand how young people paying mortgages can resent older people who did exactly what they are doing, but have come out the other side with a house that is paid for. It makes no sense, but the resentment is encouraged.

Some of the agism is just nasty - horrible comments about older women looking 'frumpy', or 'mutton dressed as lamb' or about 'old-lady style'. Of course young people don't want to dress like their grandmothers (and vice versa ) but that doesn't mean that older women can't be stylish in their own right.

I don't remember this sort of thing when I was young, but maybe I just notice it more now that I'm not?

I look at mumsnet but find them quite often very judgemental and unpleasant. Not all the time but enough that I rarely post there ,just read stuff. Gransnet ,mostly, is more balanced and you get some good advice and practical tips. Sure, there are one or two who give me the irrits but that’s life and most of those ones are obviously just stirrers who need something/ someone to stir. Safer than real life I suppose.

I also look at mumsnet. Any time I post there I seem to put my foot in it! They are an intolerant bunch.

Theexwife

I doubt they stay here for long, if a younger person asks about relationships or talks about in-laws they are asked if they are on the right forum or accused of not being a genuine poster.

But I don't think these are young Mums having a go at MILs or even their mothers although there are some who op over for an opinion.

It's (presumably younger) Gransnetters complaining about the elderly, making generalisations about older people and how they live, calling them names, making lazy assumptions and generalisations about those they consider to be "old" ie over about 75.

There just seems to be much more of it lately.

I doubt they stay here for long, if a younger person asks about relationships or talks about in-laws they are asked if they are on the right forum or accused of not being a genuine poster.

Do tell us Doodledog . What things annoy DiL's in general for me to avoid?
Obviously it is impossible to generalise. You can read MN, though, and see if anything chimes with your own experience. Sometimes it seems like MILs can't win, but again, that's because generalisation is impossible. The big one seems to be expecting to spend a lot of time with grandchildren when they are babies, particularly if there was no similar relationship before the babies came along.

I am not getting involved in a discussion about the relationship between MILs and DILs though . It was just a comment about why one generation might look at posts on a board designed for another one.

FarNorth

Callistemon21 Some of the elderly parents do sound unreasonable and quite self-centred and, as I read, I hope I don't get like that.

Perhaps they don't like to be told what they should or shouldn't be doing.

I don't 😁

Callistemon21 Some of the elderly parents do sound unreasonable and quite self-centred and, as I read, I hope I don't get like that.

Ageism is rife on Mumsnet and is getting worse on here, and is not picked up on often enough IMO. Comments about people thinking as they do because they are old, or that a point of view is held by younger people so must be more valuable just because of that are lazy and reductive, whether they are said by older or younger people

I should have RTWT first because this is what I am trying to say, but Doodledog puts it more succinctly.

Excuse typos

Foxygloves

Because of our lovely personalities the depth of our knowledge, our life experience and because they think we might be a softer touch than some other sites.

This!

And it is fine, anyone can post if they wish.

However, there does seem to have been a lot of ageism on threads lately, a certain type of impatience, discrimination, downright rudeness and name-calling about older people. Posters complaining about their elderly parents regarding them as a nuisance or someone to be ordered about if they don't behave, too which is sad. Is to a reflection of society in general, a result of drip-feeding resentments by the Intergenerational Foundation?

It all makes for uncomfortable reading to think that is how anyone over a certain age is viewed on a forum specifically aimed at older people.

Rant over, I'm off to the U3A!

Do tell us Doodledog . What things annoy DiL's in general for me to avoid?

I found Gransnet by chance after googling some worry I was having. It was to do with DD.
I knew of Mumsnet and netmums but here was the perfect forum, well actually not perfect because it's so public and you wouldn't want to give too much away.
I don't blame younger not grans yet for joining in.
Anything to get away from nappies and crying babies. although there'll be a few of those too