Regrets?

Thank you Nightowl. People like you are so kind.
I've always told myself that there are others far worse off.

I know I was lucky in so many ways sodapop. I do treasure my memories and the cousin I have recently connected with. Maybe I came across as feeling sorry for myself, I don’t really, just feel a little wistful for what might have been.

I’m sorry you lost your father so young, and I agree about posters struggling to look after elderly parents. I certainly regret not doing more for my mum.

Think that may be fairy story time Chestnut

I think it would be a wonderful experience to discover a sibling or two on Long Lost Family. After a lifetime of being alone you would treasure them and be more likely to be close.

I had eight siblings but one died young we all have a similar personality we are all competitive. I only get on with two of my siblings I don’t see the others there is distance between us too.

My DH is an only child and I don’t think he was welcomed his parents were not interested he was considered a mistake. It’s sad really he would have loved a sister or brother. He grew up lonely and had to entertain himself and was basically a latch key kid.

I didn't have cousins either nightowl so no close peer relationships when I was young, maybe that's why I never really bothered about siblings. I agree it would be nice to have someone to share memories with etc. My father died when I was 16 and my mother after an extremely brief illness so I didn't have the worries about care for them. I feel sorry for all the posters on here struggling with the care of their parents as well as their own families, must be so difficult.

I was an only child for 10 years. Loved it. Read a lot. Did wild swimming with school friends etc. Along came half sister and because my parents were getting on a bit I was expected to play mother. Put me off being a mum myself totally as she was a nightmare, stealing from the local grocery etc. My husband encouraged me to have my own child. What a revelation. He’s been fantastic. A caring and generous young man with a lovely partner I think of as my daughter. My half sister is bitter and lonely. So sad to see.

I’m so sorry henetha, that is sad. I do know how very lucky I was to be loved, and by lots of people.

sodapop

Did you dislike being an only child in general nightowl or just when you were dealing with the deaths of your parents ?

I always wanted a sibling sodapop. As I said, I had lots of cousins and lived on a street with children all around me, in the days when we were out from morning till night, but there was always that time when we went into our homes and I just felt I was missing something. But I still felt I had a very happy childhood.

But the saddest time of all was when my mum died, fifteen years after my dad, and I had to close everything up with no one to help or to share it with. I do know that siblings don’t always get on, and that I perhaps have rose tinted spectacles about sibling relationships, but I would still love to have had one.

As a child, I think like many only children I was a great observer of relationships. I used to watch my mum with her siblings and couldn’t quite fathom how it all worked. I would see them argue and then make up, in a way that I could never quite do with friends. And with my own children, I found the arguing and physical fighting quite alarming although my mum told me it was all normal. But I’ve loved creating my own slightly strange and dysfunctional but loving family, so I count my blessings.

Thank you annsixty...that's kind of you.
My childhood and teens were awful but I pulled myself together after having children and it's been ok mostly.

Henetha that is so sad.
I hope you have had a happy life in spite of it.

I regret that my parents decided they didn't like each other, nor me, so went their separate ways when I was two weeks old and left me behind.

I'm one of 6 as well - we all sort of get on and can have quite a good laugh but I'm not really close to any of my three surviving brothers. Probably because I left home early and never went back other than for visits. My brothers all stayed in the same area but they're not that close either. Probably because we are all very different. When my youngest brother was born 1 was 12 years old, and remember having a right old paddy because he turned out to be another boy and I wanted a sister 😁

Not my own regret, but my parents immigrated to Canada, and we have no other relatives here.

I envied people with cousins down the street, or grandparents nearby. A few of my friends are Italian descent, with huge extended families. Their family get togethers are so crowded, noisy and fun!

I now feel really warm and content when I have my adult children, their spouses and grandchildren around me. I love all the chaos that ensues! I love that my family has what I felt I was missing while growing up.

Blood is thicker than water but that does not mean that siblings are better than friends, I am one of 6 and am only close to one of them.

Same for me ilovecheese my parents died within 6 months of each other My eldest daughter did help me but I had all the DNR decisions to make it was a bad year

Another only child. Not so bad as a child, a bit lonely but am never bored now as I got used to entertaining myself.
Very difficult as an adult, dealing with the deaths of my parents with no one to really share the grief.
Like Bluebelle I have always wished I had siblings.

I am one of three and we all get along thank goodness! I think we just get on with what we have or don't have ! Only child or one of a group. I think the most important thing is to have had sensible loving parents - that is the best gift ever !

I m an on only child of an only child and always longed for a brother or sister I had plenty of friends at school but after I was home there was just me and yes I was lonely I used to play games by myself with my left hand against my right hand
How sad is that !
My dad had brothers and sisters but I never knew my cousins till I found them in my forties and now they re all gone
I ve always wished I had some siblings

I’m an only child who always wished for siblings and, despite having some very good friends, I still feel that gap even now. I’ve no doubt that’s why I had 5 children myself, and now 9 grandchildren too! I’ve little contact with any cousins, most of whom were older than me anyway, most are probably gone by now.
Sometimes, as in my parents case, it’s just not possible to have more than one child. But it can be hard, there’s no one else to please your parents except you and no one else to disappoint either! My father died when I was 26, my mother when I was 39. That felt like a lot to manage with no other family members around. But then I look at my husband’s relationship with his 2 brothers and realise nothing is perfect!

The generation of my parents and aunts/uncles is long dead, but I have sons, grandchildren, a brother, nephew, great-nieces, and cousins. None of them live anywhere near me, so I don’t often see them.

My brother and I get on better now than we ever have before. As children we didn’t get on at all, and for most of our lives have simply ignored each other. Old age and family concerns have united us somewhat. When my parents died my sons helped me sort out their house, with only an occasional input from my brother.

My sister-in-law is the nearest to being a sister that a non-blood relative could be. I am glad to have her.

My DH is an only child . He says it has never bothered him. His parents were quite formal and it took him a good while to understand the teasing that goes on in many families . It always makes me smile when something goes wrong or gets broken , he will even now quickly sunny ‘it wasn’t me’. I suppose because there was no one else to blame.
Now there is just his Mum so any problems or troubles with her are down to us. I think he would be pleased if he could share with someone else.

I think only children can have a rose tinted idea about what having siblings is really like. I watch Long Lost Family and wonder how many people who say "I've always wanted a brother/sister" feel the same a few years down the line

Did you dislike being an only child in general nightowl or just when you were dealing with the deaths of your parents ?

I’m an only child but my parents were from large, close families. I was lucky to have lots of aunties, uncles and cousins as I was growing up. As the older generation has died I have lost touch with cousins but recently reconnected with one and it has been a joy to reminisce with someone who shares some memories.

Clearing my parents house on my own was extremely painful. I still have boxes which are unpacked because I don’t know what to do with them. I regret some of the things I let go. I would not wish being an only child on anyone.