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I'm losing the fight!!

(50 Posts)
travelsafar Fri 22-Sep-23 18:20:59

I'm starting to think I've lost the fight against weight gain. It worries and upsets me but I just can't seem to stop picking at food. I'm OK during the day time, it's the evenings. I sit and think what can I have even though I'm not hungry. I've tried to stop buying biscuits but somehow they always find their way into my trolley. This all started a year ago, after having my hip replacement operation and still dealing with the grief of my husband dying. Anyone any ideas what to do??

Nanatoone Fri 22-Sep-23 18:26:31

I’ve got to admit that I have been similar since my husband died four years ago. I have been binging on sweets and try not to have them in the house but when I do I can’t seem to stop even if I feel ill with it. I don’t know what’s going on.

Callistemon21 Fri 22-Sep-23 18:39:06

I'm a comfort eater too but haven't been eating biscuits or sweet stuff, not picking between meals for a very long time but still the weight has gone on.

Are you on any medication which may affect your weight, travelsafar?
It could also be because lack of exercise when you needed your hip replaced and while recovering from the operation

CanadianGran Fri 22-Sep-23 19:04:47

I know evening snacking is a bad habit, and a tough one to stop. We aren't hungry, we just know the snacks are there and they are tasty!

Can you try to make 2 days a week absolutely no-snack evenings? Get some crochet or knitting going to keep hands busy. Then if you can do a few days a week, expand it to a few more.

Also, it you have a stationary bicycle, move it to your living room in front of the TV for some extra exercise. You don't need to get sweaty, just go slowly. Failing that, march on the spot during commercial breaks while watching TV. Just don't march to the cupboards!

Urmstongran Fri 22-Sep-23 19:29:22

Oh travelsafar try not to beat yourself up about this. Our emotions and attitude towards food can be very complex. I’ve lost a lot of weight recently due to anxiety. I shut down when worried and have to force myself to ‘eat something’. Others, like a friend of mine are the opposite and turn to food to comfort themselves.

You are grieving the loss of your husband. Treat yourself gently, please. You may find in time you will find a better balance in your relationship to food.

Losing weight is not easy. There’s a whole industry thriving on selling the dream. If you want to lose weight cutting down your munching habits will pay dividends over time. Exercise is good for our health but is less important for actually losing weight.

Be kind to yourself while you work out a way through this.
Good luck.

crazyH Fri 22-Sep-23 19:36:53

Phew ! I thought it was something else - glad it’s just your weight travelsafar.

MayBee70 Fri 22-Sep-23 19:52:43

Could you do a 12 hour fast but have something really tasty to look forward to when you break your fast?It has worked for me recently ( I did have a bit of a crisps binge the other night when I was watching tv). I do have to have that treat ready and waiting for the following day, though. Currently it’s a big slice of tea bead. I do sympathise because I’m an emotional eater and it’s late night binges that have always been my downfall. Other things that make me binge eat are tiredness; used to be hormonal too but my hormones went a long time ago. Maybe we should set up a nighttime thread on here so if we get the urge to attack the biscuits, cake or crisps we can log on and get some support.

karmalady Fri 22-Sep-23 20:49:03

A 12 hour fast is such a help, personally I have my last meal by 5 and my breakfast around 6.30. Immediately after my last meal I suck a jargonelle pear drop as I get that awful mouth hunger for something sweet. Then it goes away and my brain knows that there is nothing more until breakfast

To help weight loss, I either cycle up some local hilly lanes or go for a fast walk around here, taking in a very steep hill and am home in 30 minutes. Doing this just three times a week is enough. I get puffed and sweaty, which is what I want

I did the cupboard prowl this afternoon, glad I had no biscuits in. I got stuck into sorting some fabric and my mindset changed. I hate that I cannot buy biscuits, don`t trust myself to have one or two but the excess weight, I can so easily put on, would damage my journey into healthy old age

Similar in being widowed and no-one here to stop me, so now I go upstairs and do a bit of engrossing sewing, to keep my brain occupied before bed. I am a comfort eater too

Callistemon21 Fri 22-Sep-23 20:51:02

A 12 hour fast?

If I eat at 7pm then breakfast at 8.30am does that count?

It doesn't work btw.

Parsley3 Sat 23-Sep-23 09:44:24

I do sympathise with you as I am a comfort eater too. The thing that helps me to keep a check on binging on snacks is what I call The Five Minute Rule. When I have the urge to eat, eg a chunky Kitkat, I wait for 5 minutes and if I still want to eat it I do. 9 times out of 10 the notion has passed. Another thing I do is to use the rule from Monday to Friday only. Good luck, travelsafar.

Esmay Sat 23-Sep-23 09:47:00

Up until age 33 , I had a weight loss problem . I ate an unbelievable amount to the envy of my friends .

Long term illness, a failed thyroid, a bad back and knee made me balloon from an eight to a sixteen in a dress .If careful , I could get down to a fourteen - probably my ideal size.

Then -
living with my father has meant that my healthy diet (fish /chicken salad/vegetables ) has gone to pot and there are always lots of sweet and savoury treats .
So I went up another two dress sizes and depression set in .
I'd avoid looking at my body in a mirror and especially turning to the side where my huge stomach and bottom were horrible to look at .
Two security guards followed me around a supermarket laughing at my backside and other people shared the joke .

Some of my friends are very chubby and encourage me to over indulge .
If I'm honest , I really enjoy baking ,but I'm not a cake lover .
I might enjoy a cream tea occasionally . I'll have one on my birthday .

I've returned to eating eggs and toast for breakfast - it fills me up and stops me binging on sweet stuff midmorning .

I've noticed that a hastily made and eaten sandwich at lunchtime means that I'm hungry a couple of hours later so I try to have something more filling - a big plateful of salad with some sort of protein and then , the craving stops .

I've been eating more slowly and leaving food when feeling full .
I also had the habit of making a cup of tea hourly and then wanting biscuits with it .
Now , I have a cup of tea when I really want one and stopped the biscuits or limit it to one and not a whole packet .
I also have started eating an apple and an orange a day .
I've cut out milk chocolate and crisps .
I've bought some dark chocolate and enjoy a couple of squares .

I've gone down a dress size in a month and I haven't felt hungry - not once .

Baggs Sat 23-Sep-23 10:11:39


A 12 hour fast?

If I eat at 7pm then breakfast at 8.30am does that count?

It doesn't work btw.

MrB found that fasting for 18 hours worked. Over a year he lost 12 kg. Still some to go but he has relaxed to more like 12/12 now as opposed to 18/6. He thinks a daily drink of diluted apple cider vinegar helps with weight loss. Also a low carb approach.

I couldn't do 18/6 but I generally eat first at just after 0500 and last at 1700 and I eat five times within that 12 hours: 1st breakfast (or "dew bit"), 2nd breakfast (Hobbit genes!), lunch, afternoon snackeroo (such as coffee and a couple of biscuits), and main meal/tea/dinner which is one course. All these 'meals' are small and I look forward to them.

I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm just happy that I've found what I and my guts are comfortable with and what doesn't put on any weight. I expect a food guru would regard my diet as unhealthy but it covers all the essential nutrients and – touch wood – my historically 'rudely' healthy immune system seems happy too.

MayBee70 Sat 23-Sep-23 10:12:46

Well done Esmay! I find as well that, when the weathers nice I’m not bothered about food. But the minute it gets cold, grey sky, rain my desire for food goes through the roof. I also don’t enjoy walking any more. I used to walk all the time, take myself off for walks whenever possible, but now I put off walking if I can.

rosie1959 Sat 23-Sep-23 10:14:16

It can be hard but it is all in mind regarding the excess snacking. I find extra weight is particularly bad on the joints apparently for every pound you lose you relieve 4lb of pressure on your knees.
I have a problem like you in the evening I am part of a weight loss group that uses the Nutra check app I have to be disciplined and remind myself nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Not that I am attempting to be skinny but just a healthy weight. I also find exercise helps even just gardening.

Redhead56 Sat 23-Sep-23 10:26:16

I had a similar problem I was comfort eating because I was upset about a family situation. But my eating was at night time not in the day time. I buy the big jars of Polish sauerkraut and tomato salad from Asda and munch on them it’s good for your digestion. As it’s vegetables its fibre and it’s a good filler too.

Cutting down on portions in general of a day time will help your stomach will get used to smaller portions. Don’t eat in between meals unless it’s a portion of vegetable or fruit.

Try to eat raw veg like peppers or carrots and make coleslaw with an easy home made non fattening dressing. Try to eat a small amount of a dip with low calorie crackers not bread and small portions of fruit instead of biscuits when munchie time kicks in.

If you try simple changes you really will see a difference hope it helps best wishes too you.

Esmay Mon 25-Sep-23 07:39:42

Thanks Maybee .
And now , I've read from Rosie that every extra pound is a four pound burden on my knees - that's another incentive .
I bought some huge jars of sauerkraut from the Polish delicatessen and that's another good tip from Redhead .

nanna8 Mon 25-Sep-23 07:46:18

I’m a chocolaholic. Really crave the stuff and I feel quite miserable without it. I know it’s a mood enhancer and I’m hooked. Other lollies and most cakes I can live without. I’m not that much overweight, a few pounds but I have a fat tum. Full of liquid chocolate.

Oreo Mon 25-Sep-23 09:09:08

Esme how rude and generally awful of those people in the supermarket.angry
Snacking or over snacking is a habit and has to be broken, but how?
To start with don’t buy crisps chocs or treats.Make a cup of tea instead or cut up an apple.

henetha Mon 25-Sep-23 10:33:06

I seem able to go all day without much food, but after my main meal around 6 ish, I then can't stop picking on bits and pieces.
I get so cross with myself!
So I'm trying not to buy unhealthy things and just snack on nuts or fruit instead.
P.S. I often fail!

Esmay Mon 25-Sep-23 10:43:23

Oreo - I felt really upset and embarrassed over it .
I don't expect grown men to behave like that . And they weren't slim either !
People can be very cruel .
But now I'm addressing my weight problem .

I cut up apples and nibble them .
I also partially freeze yoghurts and they are nice ice cream - like treats without the calories .

MayBee70 Mon 25-Sep-23 11:43:40

I forget how filling apples can be. I can’t bite into them because of my crumbly teeth but I sometimes cut them into pieces and eat them whilst watching tv. Having said I try to fast at night I still went and ate two slices of bread and butter the other night, just when I should have been going to sleep. Do you remember when Horlicks was advertised as the food drink of the night? I often feel that I need to eat something when I know I should just try to sleep: maybe it’s because when I’m tired I crave carbohydrates?

paddyann54 Mon 25-Sep-23 11:51:04

I eat a lot of soups,I find they fill me up and are reasonably low on calories .For instance a leek and potato soup where the veg aren't sweated in oil just cooked in stock and keeping the veg or most of it chunky by blending half and returning to the cubes of potato and nice chunks of leek .That for lunch will keep me going until late in the afternoon when I have what I call my green drink of celery ,spinach and banana blended with 4 fluid ounces of apple juice .
Sadly I've had a hell of a couple of months 4 funerals and another next week and my sister has had 2 heart attacks so diet has gone awol and I'm up during the night picking at rubbish I've put on half a stone in 6 weeks .I know I need to sort it before it gets out of control but its very hard .Good luck and give the soup a go ,theres loads of low calorie options

Redhead56 Mon 25-Sep-23 11:56:21

Esmay well done keep addressing your weight problem it will pay off I am sure it’s hard work but stick at it. Regarding the security staff personally I would have shamed them verbally but that’s me in your face say it how it is.

You could have rang customer services and asked to speak to a manager. The security guys should be reminded what their purpose is and that does not include insulting customers.

Esmay Mon 25-Sep-23 13:41:45

Redhead - I thought of it , but I just wanted to get out of the supermarket ASAP .

I'm feeling optimistic about my weight loss .
And I'm moving forwards ...

Redhead56 Mon 25-Sep-23 16:17:10

That would be most peoples reaction I understand. When you lose some weight you will gain more confidence which will be good.