Anyone relocated back?

Should have said I have lived and worked in Australia for 24 years

Just about to re locate back to NI from Australia. I went home(NI) in 2019 (worked for 1 year) went home for family reasons, bought a house and then a year later went back to Oz to finish my career and support my youngest child by working and paying the rent so they can finish Uni and placements. December 2023 heading back to NI for good. Going to my home town so very familiar to me, some family still around. Yes the weather won’t be great and the supermarkets do not have the variety of fresh food I have become used to, and yes it’s changed in some ways for good with more diverse population, however still has the ongoing religious problems sadly., however I can’t afford to retire in Oz and I know I will have a better quality of life at home in NI and I have accepted this and am looking forward to it.

When you leave, if you are like us, you make your own family. It started off with just us and 2 babies and now we number in the 20s ( lost count) with more children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, husbands , partners etc. I am proud of our lovely ‘dynasty’ though it is very rare we all get together! Those left in England ,including a brother, don’t communicate with us unfortunately, even though we try. You know what? I don’t care now.

I totally understand what you are saying Joseann. And yet, if you have health issues that may need urgent specialist care- the best place to live is not where there is a health system in crisis, with huge waiting lists and very limited specialist access.

I think you're right Sorchame, we can talk about different economies and health systems all we like, and although some might seem preferable abroad, the pull back to the mother country is stronger.
Homesickness is a powerful emotion. We often find security in familiarity going right back to our childhood experiences and I totally understand why people would want to return home. The best way is not to think you should pick up where you left off when you moved away, but to go forward and look for enjoyment in your new life. I think there was an 18th century writer (?) who said something like a wise traveller never despises his own country because one day he may find it is actually the best place to live.

Yes, I know. And yet, with the state of the NHS, in case of illness, it truly does not make any sense currently. If someone has lots of local friends, is well integrated and speak the language well- returning is not the solution.

Fleurpepper I agree, expat communities do suffer from this. In my experience, no matter where in the world, integrated or not, there will usually be a pull back to their country of birth.
Time and again. I have heard so many say that they wouldn't return to the UK, yet death of a partner, illness or just old age has changed this.

Sorchame 'No family around to help day to day, surrounded by other ageing neighbours, or empty holiday homes, with no safety net of social services to support the vulnerable, it's common for people to head back to their country of birth. '

this may well apply to those who move to expat communities where there are so many other expats. Dordogne comes to mind, and Costa del Sol, etc. Many however moved a long time ago, and are totally integrated in their local communities, have little 'expat' contact and speak the language very well.

Lots of people move away from the UK for various reasons, and for varying numbers of years.

In later years, with failing health, or a spouse/partner dying, it's a lonely place to be.

No family around to help day to day, surrounded by other ageing neighbours, or empty holiday homes, with no safety net of social services to support the vulnerable, it's common for people to head back to their country of birth.

Yes, times change, for better or worse. There can be no cherry picking.

I am sorry to say that I agree with the OP. We too have lived outside of England for over 30 years. We visit family every 1 or 2 years, but much as we miss family & friends there, it is not enough to make us want to live there any more. We love where we are: the weather, our quality of life, and we do have DS and DIL and DGGs a couple of hours drive away.

Caravansera

There’s this:

The Pollyanna principle … [uses] the archetype of Pollyanna as a psychological principle which portrays the positive bias people have when thinking of the past. According to the Pollyanna principle, the brain processes information that is pleasing and agreeable in a more precise and exact manner as compared to unpleasant information. We actually tend to remember past experiences as more rosy than they actually occurred. (Wiki)

Then there’s this. The UK 44 years ago in 1979.

5 January – Lorry drivers go on strike, causing new shortages of heating oil and fresh food.

15 January – Rail workers begin a 24-hour strike.

22 January – Tens of thousands of public-workers strike in the beginning of what becomes known as the "Winter of Discontent".

1 March National Health Service workers in the West Midlands threaten to go on strike in their bid to win a nine per cent pay rise.

30 March – Airey Neave, World War Two veteran and Conservative Northern Ireland spokesman, is killed by an Irish National Liberation Army bomb in the House of Commons car park.

23 April – Anti-Nazi League protester Blair Peach is fatally injured after being struck on the head probably by a member of the Metropolitan Police's Special Patrol Group.

4 May – The Conservatives win the General Election by a 44-seat majority and Margaret Thatcher becomes the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

21 May Conservative MPs back Margaret Thatcher's proposals to sell off parts of nationalised industries.

23 July – The government announces £4 billion worth of public spending cuts.

10 August–23 October – The entire ITV network in the UK is shut down by a technicians' strike.

27 August Lord Mountbatten of Burma and two 15-year-olds, his nephew and a boatboy, are assassinated by a Provisional IRA bomb while holidaying in the Republic of Ireland. The Dowager Lady Brabourne died the following day in hospital of injuries received.

1 October – Statistics show a 2.3% contraction in the economy for the third quarter of the year, sparking fresh fears of another recession.

30 October – Martin Webster of the National Front is found guilty of inciting racial hatred.

1 November – The government announces £3.5 billion in public spending cuts and an increase in prescription charges.

15 November Minimum Lending Rate reaches an all-time high of 17%. Inflation rises to 13.4%.

We are all aware that the diplomatic deadlock over Northern Ireland’s post-Brexit trade protocol was undermining local efforts to suppress paramilitary outlaws and fanning fears of a potential spike in violence.

Do you not think that the more things seem to change the more they stay the same?

that list

Of course every country has changed- and everyone too.

But some countries have changed for the better, and sadly, the UK has not. See the list given above. And it has been transformed since 2016- and so divided.

Sterling is very low in value, but mostly, it is the State of the NHS that would stop us from returning. With OH having severe pre-exisiting conditions and the C scare a few years back- returning to the UK would be very dangerous- madness.

We always intended to return to UK- but currently, it is no longer on the cards. Family love to come to see us- and some will very possibly move here to join us at some point. Finances are tight due to low Sterling of UK only pensions- but that can de dealth with. Poor or non-existent healthcare is a totally different thing.

Countess Fosco, I totally understand how torn you are about this. hugs x

Well, Norway is a very civilised country.
Clean, efficient, polite.

Everything that England is not.

No wonder you have had a culture shock Countess Fosco.

I remember 1975 fairly clearly. I was young, fit and healthy, had a good social life, after my rent was paid I had disposable income.
How incredibly different from now!
My point is that it wasn't just UK that was different, I was different too.

CountessFosco

Thank you everyone who has contributed. Just two more observations and thereafter I will digest everything contributed.
The first time I ever posted on here, was to mention that we had loaned a piece of computer equipment after a desperate plea for help over Christmas. Back came a response from one GNer "you loaned computer equipment? What kind of gullible idiot are you anyway". The post was deleted but the hurt had already been done.
Secondly neighbours : there are only four of us here in the apartments {Hertfordshire/Buckinghamshire borders}. One heard me speaking French and asked "how many languages do you speak then"? When told five, she said "oooooooohh, get her". Those are just two of the 'welcome back to England', hurtful encounters. I won't post more.

So if OP is withdrawing from the thread might the rest of us not save our breath to cool our porridge?
A lot of useful suggestions have been made but IMO the most sensible is to weigh up the options, compare the desirable with the possible and either move back OR within the U.K. to another area, perhaps to somewhere like a more rural area or a market town or small cathedral city .
Or stay put and work at developing a less negative attitude. I think blaming a response on GN regarding loaning computer equipment or the response of a (possibly thoughtless) neighbour is hardly enough to assume the country has gone to hell in a handcart.
What can’t be cured must be endured- and preferably with good grace .

Apologies Countess I’ve put a good few years on you. Pure guesswork. And wrong! Sorry.
😊

Callistemon21

^Perhaps your son felt hurt/abandoned when you moved abroad and continued to stay living abroad^
I would have thought he went with them as surely he'd have been a child then?

Exactly - he was 4 years old!!

Maths was never my strong point hehe! .... 🤣
Maybe he was early 20’s or mid 20’s. Just married. Baby on way?

You sound as if you are looking for the Utopia that Britain never was but you thought it was. Nothing has remained the same in any country. Please give yourself time to look for the good things not the things you don't want.

Callistemon21

^Perhaps your son felt hurt/abandoned when you moved abroad and continued to stay living abroad^
I would have thought he went with them as surely he'd have been a child then?

CountessFosco might be 80 years old now for all we know - so her son may have been late 20’s, married with a child of his own?

Seen recently:

halfpint1

A friend advised me never to return to the UK as it would disappoint me.
My mother spent the last 3 years of her life in a french residential home, she was well looked after and the cost was less than the 'home' social security had dumped her in because she had a first floor flat with only stairs. The'home' was 2 terrace houses knocked together. It smelt bad and was staffed by English language second speakers w

That sounds wonderful but I doubt that it would be possible nowadays...since Brexit.. sadly..

Perhaps your son felt hurt/abandoned when you moved abroad and continued to stay living abroad
I would have thought he went with them as surely he'd have been a child then?

You say you 'came back to be near to family/son' which sounds like it hasn't worked out as you thought it would.
Perhaps your son felt hurt/abandoned when you moved abroad and continued to stay living abroad.

My parents left England for Norway in 1969 and returned in late 1972. They were absolutely disgusted with the England they returned to which they found dirty after the beautifully clean Norway and although Norway was expensive, prices had shot up in England whilst they were away, particularly housing. My stepDad went into a depression and never really came out of it. Eventually my mother couldn't cope with his rose tinted glasses for Norway and they parted ways.
It is interesting that Dickens was particularly struck by the cleanliness too all these years later.