Gransnet forums

Chat

Is there anything in your life you wish you could have changed / overcome?

(104 Posts)
annsixty Sat 07-Oct-23 10:50:00

Perhaps badly expressed but with me it has been fear of flying.
I know it has limited my life and experiences.
Presently on GN so many of you have been or are going on lovely holidays and I am so envious.

I have flown quite a few times but the anticipation for weeks before and then the thought of having to fly back has spoilt things.
Fortunately my H was not the sort of man who missed it.
He was happy with walking holidays in this country and frankly enjoyed anything as long as I did all the planning.

He retired at 55 and we could have had lovely adventures if only I could have overcome my fears.

Do any of you have regrets like this?

Nan0 Mon 09-Oct-23 19:58:26

If I gave way to my many fears I would do nothing.So I drive everywhere, on motorways on my own, and fly, wish I'd learnt to play an instrument but had a witchy piano teacher who frightened me so gave up.Was born deaf not diagnosed till 7, have had hearing aids,since then.My worst fear is being left in charge of senseless toddler(s) who I have to keep in sight at all times to be sure they are safe.

Sleepygran Mon 09-Oct-23 17:59:41

For those wishing they’d learnt to play a musical instrument, believe me, all the practice (enforced ) 30 minutes minimum 6 days a week was awful when my friends were out playing!
As soon as I was 18 and left home I’ve never touched a piano again!

Visgir1 Mon 09-Oct-23 17:39:45

Not married my ex husband far too young to tie the knot.
One of my best decision, walking out of our flat and leaving him, 7 years later after having the time of my life met a fabulous man, married withing 8 months still going strong together nearly 40 years later.

Musicgirl Mon 09-Oct-23 17:26:21

Theexwife

I cannot drive on motorways, it is so frustrating, I had so many plans when I retired. I wanted to be able to go places without planning, although I like train travel having to plan is not what I was hoping for.

This is me in a nutshell. I can do it with my husband beside me but not on my own. Trains will have to suffice for longer journeys and fortunately I have a disabled person's railcard sp get 1/3 off the prices.

JdotJ Mon 09-Oct-23 17:17:09

Claustrophobia, to the point I will not go in a lift or on the London Underground. I would rather walk 5 miles than descend into the deep black holes of the Tube. I have huge envy for people who think nothing of hopping on & off the tube, whizz about in lifts.

Grammaretto Mon 09-Oct-23 16:56:50

I regret not taking better care of my teeth.
Otherwise, apart from believing I was tone deaf, I don't think there's much I could have changed.

Such sad stories on here.
Make the best of what you are able to do.

When I worked with RDA, a disabled rider strongly objected to calling it riding for the disabled. She started her own group calling it Riding Ability.

Harris27 Mon 09-Oct-23 16:55:04

Sorry meant to type the heat makes my breathing bad. Too much heat should really stay at home.

Harris27 Mon 09-Oct-23 16:54:08

I hate flying and the anxiety of going into the airport makes me feel I’ll. my husband loves flying so I grin and bear it. it affects my breathing ankles swell. Oh how I wish I could just say “ you go on your own” but I grin and bear it. I do drive though no fear there.

albertina Mon 09-Oct-23 16:53:44

So many interesting revelations here. Realise just how many things I would like to have different including being badly bullied at school, always feeling anxious ( but hiding it well) and losing my family too early in my life because of being a "menopausal baby" ( she thought it was the menopause, but it was me ! )

Froglady Mon 09-Oct-23 16:46:54

I wish that I had accepted a posting to Bradford when in the police force. They couldn't make me go as Bradford wasn't in the West Yorkshire police force area when I joined; I so regret not going now as I didn't last very long in the force due yo other problems.

NotSpaghetti Mon 09-Oct-23 16:44:58

I would be more generous (in terms of time) towards my loving parents in my 20s and early 30s.

Maybe it wouldn't have influenced what I did with my life - but it would have been kinder given that they both died when I was 35.

I was blessed to have them - but only really understood how much when my own family started to grow up.

Jess20 Mon 09-Oct-23 16:42:55

I wish I'd been less straightforward, particularly at work, and not spoken my mind as much. I could have had far more opportunities if I'd been playing office politics, especially if I'd implied I'd sleep with certain people in return for promotions etc. I never actually compromised myself like that but sometimes wonder if I might have had more fun if I had and colleagues who did seemed to have more opportunities open up to them.

Treetops05 Mon 09-Oct-23 16:33:55

My childhood, if I could change it I would

Mallin Mon 09-Oct-23 16:24:55

Don’t give a 2nds thought about flying. Most ex holiday company reps don’t!
Will never forget one poor chap whose friends had warned me he was going to be a dicey flyer. In his 50’s it was his first time on a plane. So I sat next to him at take off and sure enough I thought the poor man was going to pass out. So asked where he came from, Hull. Than his occupation, Greengrocer.
Repeat after me. “Greengrocer from Hull” then “Only survivor in plane crash”
“You vile young woman. If you think….. “
Grief didn’t he loose his temper.
His nasty words to me lasted until the seatbelt sign popped up.
Then he noticed me grinning and realised that we were airborne and well on our way. Then he swore at me and called out to his friends “I survived”.
His friends, also middle aged, thought I was marvellous as I’d got him through take off but we decided not to tell them how.
He wrote to my Company afterwards and said to tell me that he now had no fear of flying as at every take off he thought of how I helped him overcome his fear and he couldn’t help laughing to himself
Oops. Truth was that I wasn’t exactly sober and would never have said something like that otherwise.

tinaf1 Mon 09-Oct-23 16:14:35

Driving and flying I’m a bit meh don’t enjoy either but thankfully can still manage both
However I do regret not being able to ride a bicycle like most other posters on here when I was growing up times were hard so never had a two wheeler and also never learnt to swim had one term in school at local swimming baths and was really getting on well with hand held float but one term was all we had and my parents had neither the time money or inclination to send us to swimming lessons
I was also a shy child and teenager but thankfully as I have got older I have become more assertive and not a people pleaser, or not speak up for myself
Still not assertive to try adult swimming lessons though🤣🤣

sharon103 Mon 09-Oct-23 14:22:05

There's plenty I wish I could have changed if I could go back in time.
I could write a book smile

Romola Mon 09-Oct-23 14:13:21

I allowed myself to lose touch with a dear friend with whom I worked from 1968 to 1970 and who subsequently married, so I don't know her name.
(Are you by any chance on Gransnet, Pammie?)

yogitree Mon 09-Oct-23 13:50:10

grandMattie

I have had a happy life, no complaints.
Many, many regrets - but several are: -
I never learned to play a musical instrument/ read music;
I was strongly discouraged by my very assertive parents from teaching;
I wish I had more self confidence…

grandMattie, it's not too late to learn to play music. I started a few months ago with Piano and I can now read and play some easy stuff. I'm 68 and hope to get proficient enough to play some favourite pieces before my time is up.

MORTONGARDENPEAS Mon 09-Oct-23 13:38:41

Made a lot of financial mistakes worked hard all our lives and had first house when 20 years old. When we retired we purchased mobile home wished we had never given up bricks and mortar released some cash for allowing travel but worry not a lot of inheritance for our family. Both live in Australia one in Melbourne one in Perth heartbreaking we couldn’t bring ourselves to emigrate cost of living higher in Australia plus wouldn’t have had any rises in our uk pension. Australia don’t really want pensioners. We are lucky in a way I am aged 71 and hubby 74 healthy and love to travel ( yet)

inishowen Mon 09-Oct-23 13:31:33

I cant swim. I took lessons in my thirties but never got over the fear. I've had so many holidays sitting by a pool wishing I could cool down in the water.

Irismarle Mon 09-Oct-23 13:31:27

Re the nervous drivers, I did a course about 10 years ago with the Institute of Advanced Motoring, and after it sat and passed the Advanced Driving test. I did it because I was organising courses for senior pupils at the school where I worked. The Head had become very concerned at how many of them had accidents immediately after passing their tests at 17. I was pretty nervous but felt I had to do the course too to be a credible leader. I was over 60 then! However, I am now so glad that I did it as I feel it made me much safer and more confident. I had originally passed my test at 18 and had developed all sorts of bad habits. So I can thoroughly recommend doing a course. You don’t have to do the test - I just felt I couldn’t duck out as the pupils nearly all did it.

Retired65 Mon 09-Oct-23 13:16:03

I wished I had learnt shorthand and typing when I was at school. I regret not keeping in touch with a friend who I knew for over 16 years.
Since I have moved to a new area, I have lost confidence in driving and I definitely don't drive on motorways.

Taichinan Mon 09-Oct-23 12:40:54

Madeinyorkshire what a hard life you have lived. I hope you have found contentment now x

sazz1 Mon 09-Oct-23 12:38:24

Yes lots of things I did as a teenager I regret doing. One particular thing I will always deeply regret as I acted in revenge and am very sorry I did.

Saggi Mon 09-Oct-23 12:37:53

Never learning to drive ! I need to now …and it’s frustrating .