Is there anything in your life you wish you could have changed / overcome?

annodomini

I'd like to think that I could have taken part in amateur dramatics. As an undergraduate, I was too intimidated by the apparently confident slightly older students who had probably done what is now known as a 'gap year'. Later, I helped my then H to rehearse his parts in several plays and thought I could do it just as well! I guess it's too late now, though Maggie Smith is six years older than I am...

No! annodomini it is not too late!! Find yourself an amatuer dramatic group and 'go for it'

GOOD LUCK x

Yes I too wish I'd learned the piano as a kid. Both my sisters were involved in girls' youth organisations - I'd like to have done that, but I never had the opportunity.
Not fussed about flying (I don't like it, but I did it), always used to drive long distances, but even 2 hrs driving leaves me really tired these days.

About driving. I drive anywhere locally except into the city centre, but we have good buses for that. I will drive on motorways but hate so-called Smart Motorways and avoid if I can. DH used to insist on driving if we were out together and always on holiday, so the further I have driven is just under two hours, and then rarely. Lockdown hasn’t helped. Am cross with myself for not making the effort to get out more over the summer. I am not afraid of going out, but just don’t fancy driving too far ( or coping with cancelled trains). I also have the thought that nobody will know if I haven’t arrived and that bothers me. I think I need to push myself before the winter.

I'd like to think that I could have taken part in amateur dramatics. As an undergraduate, I was too intimidated by the apparently confident slightly older students who had probably done what is now known as a 'gap year'. Later, I helped my then H to rehearse his parts in several plays and thought I could do it just as well! I guess it's too late now, though Maggie Smith is six years older than I am...

I’m another one who is scared of both driving and flying, so I’m quite happy not doing either. We have buses and trains here. Eurostar takes us across the Channel.

I also wish I had been brought up to be more assertive, I was taught not to make a fuss or be confrontational. Big mistake ! Wonderful parents but I think that was a mistake. I am another who does not enjoy driving, and avoid motorways if I can .

Another one here who is scared of motorways or going anywhere that's not local. My DH does all the driving and I only drive when I go to the office which is only once a month as I WFH. I have a friend that lives about 80 miles away and I keep saying I'm going to visit her, but I haven't plucked up the courage yet. I'm glad I'm not the only one like this. I'm OK with flying though 😂

Cabbie21

I regret missing out on a lot of experiences because we were so poor. My childhood was happy enough, but I wanted piano and violin lessons and they were beyond our means. We did not have many holidays and rarely abroad, even into my twenties. I have few if any regrets about things I have done, but many about what I have not done, either through lack of money or not being adventurous enough, or in more recent years, DH’s health restricting what we could do. Now I have money and still have my health but am still not adventurous enough.

I sympathise. I wanted piano lessons but my parents couldn’t afford it. There was a woman in the next village who gave lessons and I used to think if I hung around her cottage she might take pity on me. I never did though. 😉

I regret missing out on a lot of experiences because we were so poor. My childhood was happy enough, but I wanted piano and violin lessons and they were beyond our means. We did not have many holidays and rarely abroad, even into my twenties. I have few if any regrets about things I have done, but many about what I have not done, either through lack of money or not being adventurous enough, or in more recent years, DH’s health restricting what we could do. Now I have money and still have my health but am still not adventurous enough.

It's the driving thing with me too lately (the last couple of years or so.)

I think I would be better if I had my own, small car as I did when we first moved here to Hertfordshire 20 years ago. Somehow I was persuaded by OH that 2 cars were not really necessary, which was true at the time as we both worked in London and our town has 2 train stations with direct connections to London. However, I now feel nervous about damaging our only car, OH uses it for travelling to football matches home and away in London and further afield (very) frequently and I am left feeling a bit, well, miffed that I haven't got a car that I can just jump in and visit friends and family on a whim. He assured me when we moved here that he would use the train for his football matches, but gradually took over the car as the train service became more unreliable.

My other real regret is that I allowed school bullies to hound me and make my secondary schooldays a misery. I think I would still have left at 16 after O Levels but I wish I had been a bit stronger and stood up for myself. The school wasn't really interested in putting a stop to it as it was a very "elitist" and didn't believe that any of its pupils would indulge in bullying behaviours - oh how wrong they were!!!

Wish I had done what I wanted and not what parents expected. Why was I such a wimp!!!

I'm glad it's not just me with the fear of driving. I feel such a wimp for hating it so much. I wish I could just enjoy it!

I have had a happy life, no complaints.
Many, many regrets - but several are: -
I never learned to play a musical instrument/ read music;
I was strongly discouraged by my very assertive parents from teaching;
I wish I had more self confidence…

I dislike flying too and DH abhors airports so that's settled that.

As I love driving, I am happy to be the one person among my friends who can be relied upon for lifts.

Accepting the way things are is the way forward, I believe.

GD, if your mum was like mine then no amount of working at the relationship would help.

Yes, GSM - too late for regrets.

However, IMO, those who’ve lost confidence in driving, should either have an assessment/re-learn or give up.

Unfortunately I don’t drive motorways now either, having once had a very scary experience on one. That’s my only regret at the moment because it limits my life so much now DH has gone.
I also wish I’d worked harder at having a better relationship with my mother. The moving finger writes…..

Even worse in the supposedly swinging sixties when I was in my teens Primrose.

Yes, there are things I wish I’d done differently but life is what it is. No point dwelling.

I wish I had done more of what I wanted rather than trying to please other people.

I look at young people today and wish I had enjoyed more sexual relationships. The chance was there 💯 but like most of my friends, the thought of an unwanted pregnancy was terrifying. They all seem so casual and self assured now but I certainly wasn’t in the 70s.

I did drive on motorways when younger but somehow lost confidence. I always went to the dentist until I had a very bad experience.
Both of these are fears I cannot seem to overcome for different reaso. I have to rely on DH to drive to anywhere requiring a journey on a motorway. I cannot face going to a dentist even though I know I should. I don't believe in regrets so I think that my fear of motorways and the dentist are a hindrance.

I wish I had been bolder in my choice of career.

I worked in a bank in my local town on leaving school, left when I started my family, then returned as the children started school and stayed there until retirement.

My parents thought it was a safe, steady job, but oh, I often wish I had branched out, left home, worked in a different sphere further afield….

I encouraged my own DD to work abroad, which is why I now have her and her family living 10000 miles away in Australia!
Perhaps if I had done like my own parents did, she would be married to some local chap living round the corner, and I would see them frequently, not years apart as now.

[sigh]

I love flying and would be forever flying if I could!
But I absolutely hated driving, would get myself worked up if I knew I had to drive anywhere..
And I was too scared to use motorways....
So when DH died I got rid of the car. Our bus service is very good here. And Birmingham or London are within easy reach by train. Plus I've got my bus pass which will take me to Milton Keynes, Leicester or Rushden Lakes if I fancy a shopping trip.
When I go on holiday my travel company picks me up at home, be it flying or cruising, which is brilliant.
But I do wish I could have cured myself of my feat of droving....

My confidence in dealing with situations and people has grown in spades since I got older.
I was a shy child and teenager which never really left me until I had to learn to do things for myself and advocate for my H when he developed Alzheimer’s .
A very sharp learning curve and now, dealing with “authority “ and organisations come naturally to me.
But still the physical, flying, driving etc has me beat.

Being afraid of going to the dentist and mathematics.

There’s lots - I won’t bore you by itemising mine, there are fears I might wish I didn’t have and decisions I have made which were either for the wrong reasons or just wrong.
But my life has panned out as it has because of, as much as in spite of these things.
However I do regret that I was brought up to be submissive, to lack self confidence, to be aware of “my place” (whatever that is!) and to defer to others.
I wish I had that unshakeable self-confidence which characterised Victorian explorers and “lady travellers”!
At worst it degenerates into arrogance but think “Tea With Mussolini” or “ My House in Umbria” - I want to be Maggie Smith!

Absolutely both! I've done masses of long hauls as far as Australia , I've come to hate flying, or rather irrationally fear flying more and more, the anticipation ruins the holiday.

Yes don't drive on motorways, in fact I don't really like driving much anymore, a car was something I was very glad I had when the children were young, it would have limited their lives and mine without one. These days it's very much supermarket shopping, or into town for some specific purpose, to and from health club and that's about it other than driving husband back from nearby town when he has to leave his car to be serviced. Yes! pathetic I know.