Why are we so b****y polite?

Bags must always have their own seat.

Or so it seems 🤣🤣🤣

The worst I have experienced is the bag being moved, but grudgingly or grumpily.

I just dont understand...
1. Why your husband , OP, said "No" to asking
2. Why you listened to him
3. What the connection between politeness and asking for bags to be moved is!

"Excuse me, please could you move your bag as I need to sit down!"

Bag moved ..."Thanks so much!" All with a smile!

Bag not moved ..."Sorry but I have no choice as I HAVE to sit down!" Move the bag, pass to them or put on floor and sit down! All with a friendly smile

Any complaints ...Repeat .." I have to sit down so it is the only solution for me! Thanks so much! "

But to be honest I really think the majority of people would move the bag when pointed out to them!

Slightly amusing train story. I had a booked seat on the Manchester-Oxford train. No one had nicked my seat so all was well. However it was packed and an elderly couple sat opposite me. It was a 3-hour trip so I had a packed lunch which included a bottle of sparkling water. I took the cap off and liberally sprayed, in fact drenched, the couple in front of me. As I apologised profusely and handed over tissues, they didn’t say a word, just sat there dripping.

I was on a busy train at the start of a 90 minute journey. Two chaps were sitting at a table for four with laptops bags etc spread out. I asked them to move their bags and was told " there are other seats!" I went elsewhere as I did not want to spend the journey in their company.
Ten minutes later, at the next stop, a group of young women joined the train. Two of them moved the bags and sat next to the grumpy guys, ignoring eye rolls, sighs etc; Their friends spread out in other seats.The group then used the table as their base to eat, drink fizz, do full makeup and hair, take lots of selfies, all accompanied by lots of happy screams.
I enjoyed it all very much...

jenpax

NannyJan53

This happens on buses often too. I have seen people politely ask someone to move their bag so they could sit down. The 'offender' usually looks quite surprised.

I boarded a bus recently with Mum (93) it was full mainly of school children. Not one offered her a seat. Then a man got up and offered her his seat. I said in a loud voice, 'Mum this gentleman has offered you his seat' Not a flicker from any of the other passengers as they were all engrossed on their phones. I stood all the way to town!

I probably look fine, and on a bus I have had older people glare at me for not giving up my seat, but I suffer from extreme dizzy spells snd black outs and cannot stand long. Not all disabilities are visable

This was a bus full of school age teenagers!

When I found someone sitting in my pre-booked seat recently on a packed train, she said she’d had to sit there because the woman across the aisle was sitting in her (table) seat, where she’d set her office up nicely with laptop, phone and files spread around.

I stood between them and made it clear (politely) that one of them would have to move as I had no intention of standing for 90 minutes. The laptop was slammed shut, files shoved into a bag, and one very disgruntled woman shoved past me in search of another seat to pinch.

What irked me was that the woman in my seat was obviously too polite (or scared) to ask an important captain of industry to move, but wasn’t at all worried about staying put when asked to move by a mild looking pensioner.

Calendargirl

Urmstongran

I think a lot of people are behaving ‘Covid averse’. They put their bags on seats to discourage others getting too close.

That excuse doesn’t apply anymore, and is just a cop out.

Of course people shouldn’t have bags (or dogs) on seats whilst paying passengers stand.

As for offering seats to the public, not only were we expected to do that as a matter of course back in the 60’s, we lowly first formers were also expected to give up our seats so the sixth formers could sit down.

I totally agree. It was just my observation.
Mind you Covid is on the rise again and so .... 😊

On a train recently I asked a young lady why she didn't ask the nearby person to move their things so that she could sit down. This was a longish journey and the aisle was packed with standing passengers. She gave a helpless look as if to say this is normal. I didn't feel it was my place to ask for her but felt frustrated at her acceptance of the situation. Needless to say the offending passenger just ignored all those standing.

NannyJan53

This happens on buses often too. I have seen people politely ask someone to move their bag so they could sit down. The 'offender' usually looks quite surprised.

I boarded a bus recently with Mum (93) it was full mainly of school children. Not one offered her a seat. Then a man got up and offered her his seat. I said in a loud voice, 'Mum this gentleman has offered you his seat' Not a flicker from any of the other passengers as they were all engrossed on their phones. I stood all the way to town!

I probably look fine, and on a bus I have had older people glare at me for not giving up my seat, but I suffer from extreme dizzy spells snd black outs and cannot stand long. Not all disabilities are visable

Maybe they were so deep in conversation they didn't notice that some sitting on the floor or standing might have liked a seat. Prior to Covid, I've both had and observed occasions on trains where people have set up their personal office and had a good old hurrumph when asked if they could make way for an actual paying person

Scribbles

I'd ask them politely to move their bags. If they refused or simply didn't respond then I'd put the bags on the floor.

This- I did the very same on Saturday at Lisbon airport.

I asked on a crowded train once and was told “there’s nowhere to put it” so I replied with “right well I’ll have to sit on it” and went to sit down. It was moved onto his lap with lightening speed and smirks from those nearby!

I'd ask them politely to move their bags. If they refused or simply didn't respond then I'd put the bags on the floor.

What has politeness got to do with not asking them to move their bags? You just walk up to people and with a smile ask them to move their bag off the seat

I do it all the time on trains.

I’d have said something! Politely enough, but making it clear that I wasn’t expecting arguments

I dont use public transport nowadays (except for taxis) but I have never had any problem asking people to move their bags or to move up and make room for me. My nephew calls it my "teacher" voice because it has an edge to it which brooks no argument.

I recall being in a book shop standing between narrow shelves and a young man wanted to get past. Instead of asking politely "May I get past please" or "Excuse me" he announced in a loud voice to his companion "Im waiting for this lady to move". I rounded on him and told him coldly that this lady would move when she was asked politely, followed by "Did your parents not teach you any social skills sonny?" The young woman with him said "Shes right. Sometimes I feel ashamed being out with you." I told her "If he will speak to a complete stranger like this imagine how he's going to treat you if you stay with him" And left her to consider the matter.

No wonder people drive instead of using public transport.

I would be quite comfortable in smilingly asking them to move their bag. I hope the sight of my stick might help me get some consideration but it doesn't always - people barge into me all the time.

of course I would have asked them to move the bag..

Urmstongran

I think a lot of people are behaving ‘Covid averse’. They put their bags on seats to discourage others getting too close.

That excuse doesn’t apply anymore, and is just a cop out.

Of course people shouldn’t have bags (or dogs) on seats whilst paying passengers stand.

As for offering seats to the public, not only were we expected to do that as a matter of course back in the 60’s, we lowly first formers were also expected to give up our seats so the sixth formers could sit down.

It is obvious when I board a bus I am not in my first flush of youth and I will ask people sitting in a seat for the disabled if they actually need it. I also do it quite loudly. Before that a man offered his seat but I could not even get up the one step in the bus without mega difficulty so I declined his kind offer. The girl did move but I do not think she was happy.

I would always say something. Never had a problem.
Except one time on a busy tube no one said anything when a young woman sat her greyhound puppy on the seat next to her! We all just smiled at the puppy.

I think it was bred in us[the older generation] to be polite and respect the needs of others. I don't think some young people are taught that and it depends on where you live.
When we lived near a large city the manners were atrocious doors were slammed in your face , shop assistants confronted you and everyone was out for themselves. When we visited another city I had to remind DD's of their manners.
One collegue was attacked in a shopping complex after going to the aid of a boy who was being attacked by a gang.
On the other hand two of us witnessed two cars reverse into each other through not looking and the language out of the elderly man had to be heard to be believed. We both turned to the young chap and gave our names and telephone numbers. I don't think it is to do with being Covid averse, most people these days just do not consider others.

lemsip

I think sago and husband were sitting but is pointing out the problem how no one who does need a seat says anything.

Exactly! Including a pregnant lady and her toddler.

I think a lot of people are behaving ‘Covid averse’. They put their bags on seats to discourage others getting too close.