Why are we so b****y polite?

What stopped you from asking politely for them to move their bags? No need to be rude about it.

I would have done if I needed to sit down. My back aches if I stand too long.

I’d have said something! Politely enough, but making it clear that I wasn’t expecting arguments.

I do the same on packed buses, when people have dumped bags on the seat next to them, and are then so engrossed in their phones (or pretend to be) that they haven’t noticed people having to stand.
I do get the occasional eye-roll, but nobody’s ever refused.

It's perfectly possible to ask politely. I do, these days. I used to be too shy but not any more. I simply need to sit down when possible due to my back.
People like those Norwegians are very thoughtless.

People are like that everywhere sitting on trains with bags on seats next to them. I would ask to use the seat my dh would not but then he wouldn’t tell me not to ask either.

I think sago and husband were sitting but is pointing out the problem how no one who does need a seat says anything.

Sago

Yesterday at Oslo airport our flight was delayed, the seating area at the gate was rammed!
Two Norwegians sat together and each had their carry on bags on a seat next to them.
People were sat on the floor or standing.
I wanted to go and speak to them but my husband said no!
I wish I had.
Why are we so polite?
Why do staff not say something?

'We' - traditionally do not like to "cause a scene" which it's assumed will automatically ensue if you publicly challenge someone about their behaviour. Of course, sometimes - it does! And worse.

My late EX once challenged a group of young men who were kicking a football around an outside seating area of a café in our local park. They responded by attacking him physically, punching him in the face.

Do you know what the worst aspect of this was? Not so much the assault but the fact that those who witnessed it basically blamed him for "causing a fight". The 'reasoning' was the fact that this happened in front of my young son, a toddler, who was traumatised by seeing his father attacked, crying and screaming, so the people around us blamed him for "upsetting his son".

Sometimes I despair - of the self-absorption and selfishness of the people - like those two Norwegians - and the unwillingness to challenge it. On the other hand, one never knows what might follow if you do challenge it, however politely. I think it's a terrible indictment of our society.

However, some time ago I asked some young teens (politely) to "be careful" because they were larking-around on the narrow pavement outside our local shops making it difficult for people to navigate and one responded with "Ah, sorry Mrs - do you want me to carry your bags back to your car for you?". He did, and apologised again before he departed!

This happens on buses often too. I have seen people politely ask someone to move their bag so they could sit down. The 'offender' usually looks quite surprised.

I boarded a bus recently with Mum (93) it was full mainly of school children. Not one offered her a seat. Then a man got up and offered her his seat. I said in a loud voice, 'Mum this gentleman has offered you his seat' Not a flicker from any of the other passengers as they were all engrossed on their phones. I stood all the way to town!

I think that years of commuting to London hardened me to seats occupied by briefcases, etc. I have no trouble asking politely if they would be so kind as to move the offending article😄

Just ask them if you can use the seat, I’ve always found everyone OK, sometimes when it’s full I’ve been offered a seat, which I will accept if it’s a long trip.

Asking for a seat is one thing, but challenging anyone about their behaviour (however politely) is not on these days. I've heard too many stories of people being attacked, sometimes even killed, for asking someone to stop doing something. No matter how politely they ask it makes no difference. I'm pretty sure these people are looking for an excuse to beat someone up, like Dickens's football story. I often wonder if the yobbos are deliberately provoking people in the hope someone will ask them to stop, then that will give them an excuse to beat them up. It's horrible, but safer not to engage with them at all.

I'd have no hesitation in asking someone to move a bag so that I could sit down. If I had a bag on a seat beside me and someone was looking for a seat, I'd remove the bag and offer them the seat. it's good manners.

On the other hand, I wouldn't go into battle for other people. They have tongues in their heads..

Well, I might go into battle on behalf of a frail elderly person...

I expect you'd just give a frail elderly person your seat, maiz.

My experience in Scotland locally is that schoolkids do offer their seats to older people and people who look unsteady for whatever reason.

Of course we should politely ask people to move their bags to free up a seat , but ,...............!
People should have more consideration than put bags on seats in the first place -leaving passengers having to ask or be left standing. It beggers belief! Many people are afraid of confronting others and I understand why . I was in a fast food restaurant recently and two men sat back in their seats and put their feet on the table!!! No one including me dare speak to them , eventually the manager arrived and asked them to remove their feet. Both men did but not before mocking the manager by repeating his request over and over and laughing at him ! They were very menacing and full of self importance - I despair!

I think a lot of people are behaving ‘Covid averse’. They put their bags on seats to discourage others getting too close.

lemsip

I think sago and husband were sitting but is pointing out the problem how no one who does need a seat says anything.

Exactly! Including a pregnant lady and her toddler.

I think it was bred in us[the older generation] to be polite and respect the needs of others. I don't think some young people are taught that and it depends on where you live.
When we lived near a large city the manners were atrocious doors were slammed in your face , shop assistants confronted you and everyone was out for themselves. When we visited another city I had to remind DD's of their manners.
One collegue was attacked in a shopping complex after going to the aid of a boy who was being attacked by a gang.
On the other hand two of us witnessed two cars reverse into each other through not looking and the language out of the elderly man had to be heard to be believed. We both turned to the young chap and gave our names and telephone numbers. I don't think it is to do with being Covid averse, most people these days just do not consider others.

I would always say something. Never had a problem.
Except one time on a busy tube no one said anything when a young woman sat her greyhound puppy on the seat next to her! We all just smiled at the puppy.

It is obvious when I board a bus I am not in my first flush of youth and I will ask people sitting in a seat for the disabled if they actually need it. I also do it quite loudly. Before that a man offered his seat but I could not even get up the one step in the bus without mega difficulty so I declined his kind offer. The girl did move but I do not think she was happy.

Urmstongran

I think a lot of people are behaving ‘Covid averse’. They put their bags on seats to discourage others getting too close.

That excuse doesn’t apply anymore, and is just a cop out.

Of course people shouldn’t have bags (or dogs) on seats whilst paying passengers stand.

As for offering seats to the public, not only were we expected to do that as a matter of course back in the 60’s, we lowly first formers were also expected to give up our seats so the sixth formers could sit down.

of course I would have asked them to move the bag..

I would be quite comfortable in smilingly asking them to move their bag. I hope the sight of my stick might help me get some consideration but it doesn't always - people barge into me all the time.

No wonder people drive instead of using public transport.

I’d have said something! Politely enough, but making it clear that I wasn’t expecting arguments

I dont use public transport nowadays (except for taxis) but I have never had any problem asking people to move their bags or to move up and make room for me. My nephew calls it my "teacher" voice because it has an edge to it which brooks no argument.

I recall being in a book shop standing between narrow shelves and a young man wanted to get past. Instead of asking politely "May I get past please" or "Excuse me" he announced in a loud voice to his companion "Im waiting for this lady to move". I rounded on him and told him coldly that this lady would move when she was asked politely, followed by "Did your parents not teach you any social skills sonny?" The young woman with him said "Shes right. Sometimes I feel ashamed being out with you." I told her "If he will speak to a complete stranger like this imagine how he's going to treat you if you stay with him" And left her to consider the matter.