Auntie was a bit of a Mrs Malaprop.

My Gran loved her stimulated pearls. She also added a D into funeral - funedral - as did my friend who died in March.

shysal

This put me in mind of my MIL's version of hysterectomy. It was 'ectastretna'. We could never get her to pronounce it correctly.

Ectastretna is hard to pronounce, I think many because of it starting 'ect' which is a weird beginning of a word!
I wonder how she got from hysterectomy to ectastretna? 🤣
Though I had to correct it as predictive text went to 'ecto', like ectoplasm! Lol
That in itself is weird as I commented just yesterday to him indoors that I hoped he wasn't going to start pulling ectoplasm out of his navel as he was scratching a bit of eczema in there! 🤪

One of our friends called a very popular song 'Unchanted Melody', which caused so much laughter from us!
I was at a deli counter and asked for a Samoan instead of a samosa, my turn to be teased!

I am reminded of this - I hope you can enlarge it enough to read!

One of my friends doesn't like to speculum .

My elderly mum told me her ‘friend’ was a wretched fornicator.
She meant trouble maker.

I had to show her the word in the dictionary 😳

Little daughter coming home from play group singing
‘Poor Jenny is a weakling’

(Weeping)

Love these, I remember when Mr Keepcalm set up his first home computer and proudly announced he now had full inter . knacker incest (internet access). He later confirmed that he could now download a paedophile (pdf file) .Thank goodness he has never worked in an office!

RosiesMaw

I am reminded of this - I hope you can enlarge it enough to read!

😂😂😂

I started reading it and thought there was nothing wrong with it because I saw what I thought should be there (iyswim!)

merlotgran

I had an aunt like that. The menopause was the monoplus and brides had a Caruso.

Her one liners were great though. Watching a news item about gonorrhoea she declared it was normally a case of, ‘here today, gone tomorrow!’ 🤣

Merlotgran has reminded me of auntie being a fan of that other great tenor, Lanzarotti!

My husband has been suffering from Encephalitis and calls his indoor mobility aid a rotator! ( rollator!)

Mil referred to abattoirs as abatiers . My mother asked if we had seen a report of a woman who had died in the paper.

My DM was fond of having a nice Pisa for lunch 🍕

Absolutely love this thread!
Woke up feeling unwell this morning so taking it easy...the posts are making me laugh out loud.

Absolutely love this thread!
Woke up feeling unwell this morning so taking it easy...
The posts are making me laugh out loud! Thank you all

My aunt used to say that strawberries came in a plunket, and she had an injection with a hypodemic nurdle. She once asked where Lesbia was as she'd seen graffiti saying Mary Poppins was a lesbian. Then she complained that an uncle touched her goolies (meaning boobs). She was always coming out with funny lines, bless her.

Me either 🤣

mrsjonesy

My mum used to say she liked a sprinkle of desecrated coconut over her curry

My father always called it masticated we never knew if he really meant it.

Message in newspaper personal column, probably from someone ringing them: 'Person wanted for 'head on a stick' pleasure, (think the caller meant 'hedonistic'

Menstrual cyclone aptly describes the periods I had as a young woman!

Wish I had thought of the expression.

My mother whose native language was Danish, always referred in English to "helping lame ducks over stiles" - like all Danes she when learning English had been unable to hear the difference or say it properly between - ck and -g at the end of words. And no-one could ever convince her she had got the expression wrong.

She and I were fortunately alone, and I was grown-up, on the embarrassing occasion when she announced that her foreskin was itchy. She thought she was referring to the skin of her forehead, and hardly believed me when I told her what the English word meant.

biglouis

I dont understand what this thread is supposed to be about.

Its about a Malaproprism, the use of a wrong word in place of what it should be, can be very funny.

On hearing the price of an expensive pair of trainers, my mother said “That’s a lot of money for a pair of primsoles” and that is what we’ve called trainers ever since.

I love all these!
So why do I get really cross and grumpy when someone insists on saying mis - cheevy - us?

My DH’s ex MIL thought carrion crows were carrying crows! 😀

Oreo

My Mum always says skellington and chimley, and my Nan used to as well, may be a Londoner thing.😄
( skeleton and chimney)

Orea : So did my mum! She also said pruens. (Prunes)
Makes me laugh but difficult when growing up as I thought that was right. 😅