I met my future MIL at the end of the very first date with the man who became my husband! He invited me home for a coffee and we were almost at his house when he suddenly said, "Ah, I've got no milk, we'll go to my mums!", and performed a very abrupt right turn! I told him we couldn't go at that time of night (it was 11.30pm!) but he insisted it would be fine. 5 minutes later I was being introduced to his mum, who was sat in the sofa, knitting. I think we were both a little surprised! Lol! I came to love her, she was like a mum to me, my own mother having died when I was a young teen, and over the years I'd often pop in to see her just for a cuppa and a chat whilst H was at work. I was truly devastated when she died.
I've met my children's partners often and they usually seem calm and collected, with not a trace of nerves, which is how I want them to be. However, my daughter's current partner was absolutely terrified of meeting me! She was convinced I would hate her and that I'd disapprove (I've no idea why, I suspect daughter might have been feeding her tales), but she soon relaxed when she realised I wasn't about to devour her in one bite and bury her bones in the garden! Lol! We get on very now!
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Do you remember the first time you met your future in-laws?
(72 Posts)I was surprised to hear that my DDiL was very anxious when she was introduced to me and DH.
I hope she relaxed and we put her at ease.
When I met DMiL I was mesmerized. She was beautiful and accomplished and I don't think too impressed by this person her DS had invited for the weekend. I think we had already decided to marry and had to break the news.
DFiL was less intimidating .
I'd be interested in your experiences.
Yes. Well, MiL. I'd had to go to a hospital in London for a biopsy. Which, it turned out could have been done in our local hospital, much to my anger!!
As we were going to be up there, anyway, I told my then BF he should go and make amends with his mother. He did.
When I was released from the hospital I was taken to meet her. He warned me she was babysitting one of her DGC, and said I wasn't to be shocked at the state of her!
The poor child had been starved of oxygen at birth and had to have lots of hospital treatment, the latest of which had caused much bruising to her very pale, little face!
He said a little bit of bruising. Well, we all know men can't measure!!
She was a little wisp of a child but looked like Frank Bruno had gone at her, poor thing.
I was told we'd be staying with his mum for a night or 2. I'd hoped to get straight back home to my DC.
Anyway, we met and we did get on quite well, at least for the first few years.
Then she went a bit funny, towards the end, and decided she didn't like me after all! 🤣
My DH mother had been widowed as a young woman and was like a lioness with her young with her boys, jealously guarding them.
She played the piano and I sang, so I was invited over for a meal and music. At the end of the night my DH (who was also my boss and musical) suggested I might stay over, the house was huge, but no, she made sure I caught the last train home (25 miles away).
She was a formidable character and we often clashed, but we eventually reached an understanding and respect for each other.
I knew my DH many years earlier as a friend of my BiL I hadn’t seen him for years. When we met again I was in the middle of a nasty divorce and my two children were very young.
My future MiL was practically interviewing me with questions when we met as she was sitting in her rocking chair drinking coffee. She asked me about my children and said she would like to meet them and told her son that he should arrange it soon. When she met my children she instantly took to them and said that we should waste no time and get married. We had only been courting six weeks and were quite taken back by her response.
We had different cultural and religious back grounds but it meant nothing to my future MiL she embraced me and my children straight away. She took on the role as granny and was loved by both of my children. I could not have wished for a better MiL and I was so grateful we had her love and support. Looking back as I do often we were alike both straight talking and we never crossed words.
Haddersmum what an extraordinary story but how wonderful, really.
We had only been dating a few weeks and were in the queue for the cinema when my DH said he didn’t fancy the cinema and would take me home to meet his mum, We went back to his home and spent a pleasant evening chatting to his mother. The next morning she dropped dead from a stroke!
I’d already met my in laws as visited their house prior to going out with their dear son.
The first afternoon teaI attended as his girlfriend, I dropped red beetroot all over the beautiful tablecloth.My future mil was so lovely and didn’t make a fuss.Years later we spoke about it and she said’I thought I might end up with you as a dil so didn’t want to upset you’
I loved that woman,no one could have had a more wonderful mil.
I met OH and his friend on a night out with my friend. We all went back to his parent's house for coffee. OH gave me and my friend a lift home after. His parents were in the front room, never acknowledged us or said hello. We started dating and I was invited to tea. It was very strained and you could see they didn't like me. When I met his other friends they warned me his mother had split him up with every girlfriend he had including his first wife. She used to say horrible things to me when he wasn't there, then be all nice when he came in the room. His father was a prize snob and looked down on lots of people. But they weren't wealthy people - just nasty.
I was over 5 years older than my then boyfriend when we spent a weekend with his parents. We guessed they may not approve so tried to disguise the age difference by omitting to tell them that I'd spent 5 years at university. I thought we got on OK. The first present they gave me was a weightwatchers cookbook - a not so subtle hint. After we got engaged my future MiL apparently said to him "Why don't you find someone younger and slimmer?" I don't know if she knows that he told me.
We went to stay with them over Christmas soon after our honeymoon and I overheard FiL asking when we planned to start a family! My ex replied that they were married for 4 years before they had children. His response - "But I didn't marry someone older than myself!"
When I produced their first GC four years later I was referred to as MiLs 'Lovely DiL'. I think they eventually came to accept me and I tolerated them. They stayed in touch after the ex and I split up. He had an affair and still lives with the other woman. MiL can't stand her and they never meet now as ex only visits alone. His younger brother married someone they disapprove of and they are heading towards divorce too but I'm still in touch with MiL being the only family member to visit her during the aftermath of the pandemic when she was in a bad way. I see her occasionally at family occasions as she is GGM to my GC and has attended 1st GC's 1st birthday party as well as my son's graduation ceremonies.
I feel rather sorry for her as I don't think anyone would have been good enough for her boys! I did well to gain her approval eventually but only by giving her GC!
I told my DiL that my MiL had taught me how not to be a MiL and that I hoped she would benefit. We get on fine and I love her to bits!
I remember I was quite uncomfortable when I first met the in-laws. My family were far from posh, I guess in those days we were lower middle class, but his Mam and Dad lived in the smallest mid-terrace council house I had ever seen, freezing cold with just an open fire in the living room and outside privy. My MiL couldnt have been more welcoming, but FiL was not happy. He sat on top of the fire for the whole visit, chain smoking and drinking whisky with Guinness chasers, making disparaging remarks about posh people, clearly thinly disguised criticisms of me. I couldnt see where class came into it since DH and I were both at the same university, and were both the product of grammar schools, without which neither of us would have had any higher education. No one from my family had ever stayed on at school, let alone gone to uni, just like his family. To my mind we were the same. They had no car or telephone and so the next day we drove MiL to the supermarket to save her struggling on the bus. She was so lovely and as soon as we were away from FiL said how glad she was her son had met such a wonderful girl. Very sadly MiL died young and never got to see her granddaughter, whilst FiL lived on for many, many years, although largely estranged from my DH.
We'd been married for 8 years before I met my MiL - at first I thought I was in luck and would never have to meet her as she lived abroard. H's father died before he was born and she remarried again. she sent him to board as soon as was possible at 4 and a half! H never got on with her at all, she really didn't like children or anyone interfering in her life. When she returned to this country her assumption was that he would provide.
She hated me at first meeting. I made it plain that that I wasn't having her interfering in my life or messing with my husband or children.
She lived on to 89, and in the end I was the one she turned to for help. Funnily enough she said she could trust me and oddly enough she could!
No. My FIL was no longer with us when Beloved and I got together but I have known Beloved and MIL since I was around 6, we lived 4 doors from each other at the time.
First meeting with in-laws was a weekend visit which involved a 120 mile early morning trip on boyfriend's motor scooter. It was a bitterly cold and I was so cold when we arrived I was shivering so much that I could hardly hold the cup of coffee I was given. First impression of FiL was that he looked like Rex Harrison.
I'm going to tell you the reverse story of how upset and ashamed I was by my parents' behaviour when meeting my DH for the first time. It was 1963 and "class" was very much a thing in those days.
My lovely handsome new boyfriend, already with some serious achievements to his credit, was clearly "on his way" as people might have said.
But he hadn't come from the "right" sort of family or been to a public school, therefore in their eyes no breeding and no money. (I did have another admirer who would have fitted their bill in those respects.)
My parents were actually quite rude and dismissive and made it clear that he would not be a welcome addition to the family.
But nothing was going to separate us, so they had to put on the right sort of wedding. Eventually, as we prospered and produced a couple of highly creditable children, they began to change their tune. My not-so DF died fairly young but my DM became a much-admired MiL and beloved DG.
Times change, time heals.
Met my in-laws after we got engaged. It was a whirlwind, long distance courtship and we got engaged after 4 months. His mother threw her arms around me!
I think they were nervous that their son was planning to marry a woman a decade older than him and with tattoos so when they saw I was actually fairly normal they were relieved 😁
They are kind people and I love them very much.
As we walked into my fut.re MILs house I heard her voice and almost took to the hills. This woman and I had history, she had been a passer at the clothing factory where I had my first job. For some reason she took against me and consistently returned my work even when others had already passed it. It got so bad I left to work somewhere else. After our marriage she still made my life a misery until the day she passed away. I found out later she had had a disagreement with my mother who worked in the factory too.
Me and my then boyfriend were at a Vicars and Tarts party he was a Tart and I was a vicar. He got really drunk and me and a friend had to make sure he got home safely. His Mum opened the door to two drunk vicars and her son dressed in a black bra, see through blouse and a black maxi shirt. I don't think she was very impressed. (LOL)
My fella was 26 when I first met his parents …….and he’d told me that his mum ‘saw off’ all his previous girlfriends .His dad was a pushover but his mum had a face like thunder ……and tried to outstare me ….I won that battle ! Sh we turned to me and said @ you’re not going away …are you”?….” No” I replied. We became very easy with each other ….it helped , that a year later at the age of 46 she gave birth to her second child ….just as my fella and me weee marrying!
I could swear she got pregnant as she was ‘losing’ her ‘golden boy’
Christmas 1980. Whirlwind romance with him doing all the chasing. N was a precious only child. His mother was in full evening dress. I had long hair dyed Cyclamen and wearing jeans. I am Welsh/Irish. I overheard her talking to her beloved son (He went to Boarding School aged 6 and didn't care for her, she was cold, distanced and her husband divorced her for mental cruelty, then moved to another Continent) about how could he possibly be seeing this Coal Miners daughter!
My Irish father did work down the pit, doing research into pneumoconiosis. Absolute snob and disliked me. She was a friend of Enoch Powell and almost fainted as the book I was reading was Arguments for Socialism by Tony Benn. She went berserk when I was pregnant in 1985 and adamantly refused to get married and said 'We've never had a bastard in this family before'. Only after she died I discovered she was brought up in The Gorbals, Glasgow and almost went into the workhouse as her father had done a runner to South Africa.
I met my mother in law to be the night before the wedding. She informed me I was the first English to be in the family. They were Highland scots, she terrified me! I never really got to know her well and as we lived such a long way away we got together rarely. I tried to give her a hug on arrivals and departures but she shied away and I comfort myself I did my best.
Continued
My DXFinL was so different he was a lovely gentle man who died far too young due to his excessive drinking he always missed our DC and me apparently.
My (ex)MIL took an instant dislike to me but tbf she wasn't a huge fan of my ex either. She thought I was a snob (I am not) and had a raging inferiority complex that she over compensated for by saying "well obviously I wouldn't know xyz because you are so much cleverer!" We fell out for the final time when my youngest DD was 5 months old, my ex and I stopped visiting and broke off contact she never saw my 3 DC from that day to this
When I finally tired of my ex's behaviour and we divorced after 17 years of marriage he got back in contact
We were engaged before I met DH's parents, although they didn't find out for a few months. I was from a council house, they owned a 6 bed detached house with a carpark and an acre garden (DH didn't tell me until the night I visited). My mother was very impressed, but MiL wasn't. She didn't like me until she sadly had dementia in the late 90s. My FiL was, and is wonderful 40 years later.
I was just 16 when I first met my PIL. They had just returned from a months holiday in Italy and we sat down to a very formal lunch. They were so different to my Parents.
I often feel guilty as although we have always rubbed along quite well I really have never ( even after over 50 year) felt any particular affection for either. FIL died 6 years ago . MIL is still living and always included in the family.
First time meeting my inlaws was when they were in the back seat of my boyfriend's car. The radio was on, it started playing J'Taime. Talk about red faces!
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