Living in the country

All I can do is sympathise. Our bus service has gone from regular and reliable to almost non-existent in 10 years.
What are your neighbours like?
A few friends locally do get lifts to 'non-essential' groups when others are going their way. They reciprocate by paying for parking, buying a coffee, making a donation to the group you're attending etc.
Some folk who struggle to pay for their car welcome this (you have to be careful as actually paying someone may be an insurance issue, but the above isn't)

Witzend

As I pointed out to my mother, when she voluntarily gave her car up at 80 (having become nervous in traffic), what she was going to save in petrol, car tax, servicing and insurance, would pay for quite a lot of taxis.

Did she ever take one? No, because in her head they were still a great extravagance. 🙁

My elderly mum is exactly the same.
In theory she can see that the savings would easily pay for regular taxis, but she still balks at the cost.

Secretly, though, I think that she I'd afraid of using taxis, because on the few occasions she has had to do so she has struggled to understand the drivers, and on one occasion was almost certainly ripped off.

is, not I'd

Our dog is an important member of the family. She wouldn’t take kindly to living in a town - and I can’t imagine ever doing so either, no matter how convenient.

We live in a country village but we do have a reasonable daily bus service. I drive but since I got my bus pass have used it a fair bit. I am just a few miles from a very popular touristy town and you struggle to find a parking place in summer so the bus is great for that, and of course, is free.

I could not bear to live in a village with no buses for back up. Nor a village with no shops come to that. We can buy all we need in our village, except clothes and footwear.

I work for a community funding service, a nationwide group and every year our funding is under threat as a certain amount comes from the county council.
Our prices will be doubling in the new year, first time since 2018, to cover our drivers fuel and insurance.

Driving service, sorry.

Is there a volunteer car pool in your area. Speak to Age Uk and ask.

A friend whose back is too bad to spend hours in hospital transport used her local scheme recently. You make a contribution towards petrol costs, but it is way cheaper than taxis

Grammaretto

Smug here we chose to live in a small town with everything to hand including buses every 15 minutes if we need to go into the city..
We always yearned to live in the countryside but realised it wasn't practical.
However I will say, if it's any comfort, when you are too old to drive you'll probably be too old to use a bus!

There comes a time when we have to give in and rely on others.

Why would you be too old to use a bus if you are too old to drive a car?

Hollysteers'My in-laws both drove well into their 90s, which could be alarming and when they finally had to stop due to failing eyesight too many bumps neither of them could manage buses by themselves, which are quite bumpy, at least around here they are, so they relied on family lifts until they died aged 94 and 98.

If you are elderly or disabled we have dial a ride which is a free service. Just ring and book a time. I think they have them in many parts of the country.

The village we lived in when the kids were small, lost its shop while we lived there, but it had a (rare) bus service. Then the village shop in the next village, which was just walkable, closed down. There is no regular public bus service now.
I feel for those my age who had lived there all their lives, who are now left in a similar position to the OP.

Smug here too granmarretto we live a mile from a small town that has a hospital,multiple doctors surgeries and dentists and basic shops like a small supermarket and an Aldi and Iceland ,2 butchers and the usual hairdressers charity shops and bookies .
But I can see Ben lomond from the end of our street and the top of Dumbarton Rock from my bedroom window.We're surrounded by hills and green spaces and close to the second fastest flowing river in ScotlandIts 2 miles to the foot of Loch Lomond and Lomond shores shopping etc and around 20 miles to Glasgow ,Stirling maybe 25 miles.
I wouldn't live anywhere else,been here since I was 12 and never lived more than a mile from the present house .
Buses pass 60feet from my back garden every 10 minutes or so ,for Glasgow Helensburgh and Lomond shores.Buses for Oban and Fort William will stop at the top of the road if booked .Train from Dumbarton under 3 miles away will take me to Edinburgh and all places between .I wouldn't swap areas for anything

paddyann54

Smug here too granmarretto we live a mile from a small town that has a hospital,multiple doctors surgeries and dentists and basic shops like a small supermarket and an Aldi and Iceland ,2 butchers and the usual hairdressers charity shops and bookies .
But I can see Ben lomond from the end of our street and the top of Dumbarton Rock from my bedroom window.We're surrounded by hills and green spaces and close to the second fastest flowing river in ScotlandIts 2 miles to the foot of Loch Lomond and Lomond shores shopping etc and around 20 miles to Glasgow ,Stirling maybe 25 miles.
I wouldn't live anywhere else,been here since I was 12 and never lived more than a mile from the present house .
Buses pass 60feet from my back garden every 10 minutes or so ,for Glasgow Helensburgh and Lomond shores.Buses for Oban and Fort William will stop at the top of the road if booked .Train from Dumbarton under 3 miles away will take me to Edinburgh and all places between .I wouldn't swap areas for anything

Sounds perfect.👍

A few decades ago I used to dream of a fairly rural idyll, but that was before we started regular visits to friends in rural N Devon, who lived down a steep, very narrow lane, and where you needed to drive for at least 10 minutes for a pint of milk - and even to take the dogs anywhere for a walk where you could safely let them off the lead.

All very nice for a few days, but no thanks! Nowadays I’m more than ever grateful for very good public transport (I don’t use my car much at all any more, only for longer journeys) and more or less everything a short bus ride or a 15-20 minute walk away.

I'm still driving, but when I can't there are buses here to get to the nearest town, or even Exeter. I love it in the country here but am aware that there are drawbacks. Sometimes I think I would like to move to a town.

You all speak about taking taxis, but in our small market town, we no longer have much in the way of taxis either. Not so long ago, two or three different taxi firms would be parked up in the market square, ready for folk to ‘hail’ them.

Not any more. The only taxi firm just has pre booked journeys, and not always available for when you want.

As for the bus service….

But there is the dial-a-ride, not that I have had cause to use it, and that seems to involve long, drawn out journeys around the villages to drop people off. A trip of a few miles can last for an hour or more.

Germanshepherdsmum

We live in the country with no public transport. Fortunately we both have a car so if something happens to one car there’s always another but I am very aware that we won’t be able to drive for ever. There is a local system of car lifts to the doctor or dentist (6 miles) and hospital (26) at less cost than a commercial taxi but if you can’t drive you can’t get out and shop (though we do get most things delivered) or socialise unless someone gives you a lift, which would leave you feeling like a nuisance. No family nearby. Much as I love it here, moving to somewhere on a bus route will have to happen eventually.

I agree with all you say GMS. We have found out lately when both have had periods of ill health and no family nearby,
A bus route or a house in a town within walking distance or Dr's dentists etc. or the taxi not costing £25 which it did from our local town to home.
We have friends who moved near family only to find SIL's have changed jobs and they have moved away.
Grandchildren who might enjoy a visit to Grans after school until mum or dad comes home soon grow up and away from what they see as smothering grandparents who always agree with mum and dad and the £10 pocket money three or four times a year you give when you see them means nothing.
Lately, we seem to have been discussing this a lot and have yet to find a happy solution.

Don’t leave it too late to decide
about moving. I have wanted to move for years but dh resists and now in mid /late 70 s I no longer have the Energy to go through what is always a stressful process. Thinking About clearing the Loft is enough to put me off the idea.
I don’t live on the country but on the outskirts of a town but without a bus service.

I make sure that I don’t have clutter as I know that I will have to move one day (and if I move in my box I don’t want someone else to have to do it). If you have to face dealing with masses of ‘stuff’ and a loft rammed with even more ‘stuff’, it must be incredibly difficult.

Can I borrow you for a few weeks please Germanshepherdsmum?

Of course! I warn you though, when it comes to chucking stuff out, I’m ruthless! 😁

There's no change of us moving as we live on the family farm, so that's not an option. My husband who's supposed to be retired goes out every day 7am - 6pm (later in summer) and 'helps'. Thats every day of the week, although they usually finish at midday at Christmas and go out again about 5pm and do the evening feeding.
He has a big 4 x 4 but I'm tiny and cannot reach the pedals, it was a present to himself when he 'retired' and sons took over and is his pride and joy so I'd never ask him to change it.

However, thanks to all who suggested I look at local transport help - there may be schemes in place at the village, about 3 miles away. The friend, who partners me when I volunteer at the local hospital tea bar once a week, will collect me for our shifts, although its out of her way, so not something I want to ask her to do long term.
I attend a hydro therapy pool once a week (for a long standing back problem) and this will have to go which I would regret, and my husband will take me to my monthly eye hospital appointments.

I too watch people on tv relocating to the country and abroad, and think - just wait till you're old, you'll regret it.
Thanks for all the helpful comments.

I really think you should put New Car Please at the top of your list to Father Christmas, ExDancer.

Not joking - if you are expected to compromise the way you would like to live then remember that compromise goes both ways.
You need another car!

I spend a fair bit of time going through stuff and donate to local charity charities and our loft isn’t rammed but there is still plenty of stuff accumulated over 35 years here.
I confess I tend to hoard some ( but too much) stuff especially if I have had it fir years.