Living in the country

I know my dc will just throw it into a skip ……and curse us probably for not doing it beforehand.

I try to be ruthless and managed it when DH worked, everything went up the chimney, bad for the environment but good for my soul. He did once wonder what the wires out of my bras were. Now I have to do it sneakily.
I have a halfway cupboard Callistemon anything I think needs to be thrown, mine, DH or the houses or Charity shop goes in large black bags in there, all sorted. If it is not needed or asked for in a year it gets tied up and goes when a visit to the local recycling is made.
I had to clear out my mothers after she lived for 15 years after my father[Who made Bonfires when she was out].
I could have made an igloo out of Teena ladies alone. Money was hidden all over the house it actually filled a bin bag and enough soap for a hotel for a year. As well as all the clutter, I have vowed like GMS said, to leave none for anyone else.
I actually found some of my nappies and vests she had kept for 58 years.

I have kept vests and baby grows for nearly that long. Oh dear 😅

I think you need to replace your car

Definitely replace your car 🚗 if you are rural it’s necessary.

hollysteers

Grammaretto

Smug here we chose to live in a small town with everything to hand including buses every 15 minutes if we need to go into the city..
We always yearned to live in the countryside but realised it wasn't practical.
However I will say, if it's any comfort, when you are too old to drive you'll probably be too old to use a bus!

There comes a time when we have to give in and rely on others.

Why would you be too old to use a bus if you are too old to drive a car?

That seems like a sensible question when you live somewhere with a reasonable bus service, but where I live this is why:
The only reliable buses are 7am & 6pm.
The 2 during the day are unreliable.
They do not synchronise with the buses that go to the council offices or hospital. To get to the hospital means a 10 minute walk to change buses
If they were reliable, I would have only 20 minutes to walk from the bus to the GP / shop and back to get the return - unless I wanted to spend the whole day there. This is what people who are visiting care homes etc. do.

Of course old people can organise themselves around this, but if you are somewhat frail it is very difficult.

As I posted earlier, this has all happened in the last 10 years. I used to use the bus a lot, for shopping library, swimming etc. Now I am grateful that I can still drive my car!

Ifyour husband bought himself a large car that you can't drive I think he should buy you a nifty little one.. I bet you've worked for the farm for years...

pascal30

Ifyour husband bought himself a large car that you can't drive I think he should buy you a nifty little one.. I bet you've worked for the farm for years...

I bet you've worked for the farm for years ...

Probably unpaid? You deserve a car, one that is comfortable for your back, easy to get in and out of. An automatic.

pascal30

Ifyour husband bought himself a large car that you can't drive I think he should buy you a nifty little one.. I bet you've worked for the farm for years...

Agreed!

Or he could take you to where you want to go in his Big Car. It sounds as though other family is around too, so I’d be requesting trips from them, as well. I had assumed from your OP that you lived alone and these options didn’t exist.

I lived happily in the country, then I was widowed and I remained for three years, after an old lady said not to make any quick decisons. No taxis nearby and reality came to me. I moved to a lovely small market town with all the facilities, including buses. I still have my car

Really this is why it is so important to plan ahead. Moving is not easy and it is expensive but might be needed to retain independence

Ex dancer, I initially wondered how I would cope in your place and immediately thought about cycling but there are always busy main roads to negotiate. In your situation, I would have a mobile hairdresser, give up the hydro session and save for a taxi when needing the dentist

Germanshepherdsmum

Yes good point Lucky, money saved by not having a car would pay for a lot of taxis!

I knew a woman, a single woman who had quite quite a senior management role before she retired.
She worked it all out, sold her car opened a separate account etc. etc.
The first taxi she took into Morrisons cost more than her shopping. She decided to depend on her neighbours instead.
I don’t know what they thought about that.

I’ve never lived in the country, always looks idyllic but getting older you have to be sensible.
A car does give you independence OP go for a small nippy one that’s easy to drive and park.

Callistemon21

Can I borrow you for a few weeks please Germanshepherdsmum?

I’ll do it, I’ve got nothing to clear out 😥 But be warned, I’m ruthless 😂
OH jokes that if he stands still too long he’s for the bin or the charity shop 😂

I live in a tiny village and wouldn’t ever swap it for living in town. People in rural communities are comparatively self-reliant, but there are always people around to help out if necessary. We all manage to survive somehow

Not having a car will undoubtedly make things more difficult, but you’ll find a way round it. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll get a decent rural bus service and even be able to use our bus-passes!

MerylStreep

Callistemon21

Can I borrow you for a few weeks please Germanshepherdsmum?

I’ll do it, I’ve got nothing to clear out 😥 But be warned, I’m ruthless 😂
OH jokes that if he stands still too long he’s for the bin or the charity shop 😂

😂

We need you on the decluttering thread, Ruthless!
(You're not called Nancy by any chance, are you?)

paddyann, every year on her birthday, since she was young, my DD always asked to go to Dumbarton Rock as a treat. So much so, her husband proposed to her at the top of the rock.

You do live in an ideal spot!

We live in a biggish village three miles from a market town. I can see the sheep in the fields fro my house, lovely walks to take, we have lived here for forty years. It was idyllic but alas they have upgraded the A-road and now we have enormous lorries thundering through. We do have buses, two an hour which, since I now no longer drive because of poor sight, is a godsend. Fortunately the village is a lovely community with lots to do so we will not move now.

We have changed where we live to that most convenient to our stage in life.

We bought our first house in a town and with an easy walk to the station for the commute to work. When children cme along and I stoppedd work we moved out to the country and village living, and the children have the happiest memories of playing in the woods and fields.

When they reached secondary age and I was back at work and building my vareer again we moved into the nearest big town. Again, with easy access to the station and with the children not dependent on a parental taxi service for everything they did.

When the children left home and I took early retirement, we moved back into the countryside, a large village with a shop and good links to motorways to visit children and local towns.

Now we are contemplating what may well be our last move and that will be back into a towm with good railway connections, We will move close to the centre, so that we are close to amenities, so that if/when we have to stop driving everything we need will be in easy reach.

Any further move is likely to be a care home - and by then it will be our children making the decisions.

Just get another car - as farmers, I’m sure you can afford one and your DH seems to have treated himself to something expensive?
We used to visit an old farming couple - she’d never left the farm for 4 years!

silverlining48

I have kept vests and baby grows for nearly that long. Oh dear 😅

Same here!! When I emptied my mother’s house I found scraps of leftover material from dresses and curtains she made for me as a child. Such sentimental reminders, I couldn’t throw them out. I’m a hopeless case!

Fair enough Georgesgran !
A small petrol car not too many years old makes admirable sense. Being dependent on friends and neighbours can be demoralising and as OP has access to a car -although is not able to drive it herself - is she eligible for community schemes which are designed for those with no transport at all?

ExDancer

For those of you who, like me, live in the country and have no access to public transport. How do you manage without a car?

He has a big 4 x 4 but I'm tiny and cannot reach the pedals, it was a present to himself when he 'retired' and sons took over and is his pride and joy so I'd never ask him to change it.

We have farmers in the family and you sound like my Aunt, who worked on the farm, brought up sons, catered to everyone's needs but seemed to not have a life of her own except or the weekly visits from Mum and me when she'd send me to collect the eggs or out to play while they had a chat.

We still have farmers in the family and I know what hard work it is, but I don't think women tend to be so compromising any more.
You sound as if you've always compromised, been there for everyone and now you're retired you're stuck on the farm without a car and wondering how to cope.

I really do think that it's time for you to give a present to yourself, a small car of your choice that will be comfortable and reliable and give you the freedom you deserve.

Let us know the outcome 🙂

Good advice Callistemon 👍🏻

If you gave a broken back can you just apply for PIP you should be eligible for at least dome dorm of mobility payment even if not enhanced. That would help with at least some taxi fares.

I lived in the country for over 30 years. We were two miles from the nearest bus, 16 miles from a station. Rural Devon, so a car was essential. If we wanted to go to a theatre/cinema we had to factor in 2 hours travelling time. When my DH died, I moved to Merseyside, where anyone over 60 gets free travel on buses and trains. I’m 10 minutes away from bus stop and station. I decided to give up my car, and what a relief! No worries about insurance/tax/maintenance/parking! It’s easy to get into Liverpool for shopping/theatre/cinema. I do miss the countryside views, but the older you get, the more you appreciate good public transport links.