WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

Worrying. May and Kay's boyfriends have just walked in. Dan Gerous and Chris Tingle. The local Mafia.

Looking good in that Chanel dress GG, don’t let Charleygirl see you. The clash with the red stockings and white high heeled shoes might upset her sensibilities.

Dial 999 Pitt, it’s been a while since we’ve had a beefy paramedic in here

I have a choice of pink plastic or black lace covered hands, each stolen from Sexy Sadie’s sensual underwear shop. Take your pick Delila.
Or open the box

I could do with a hand Laura - anybody?

LauraNorderr

Gawd Pitt, those kittens are growling at the llamas, the Admiral is growling at GG, May Hem and Kay OSS in the bar, all hell has let loose.

Shal I dial 999?

Gawd Pitt, those kittens are growling at the llamas, the Admiral is growling at GG, May Hem and Kay OSS in the bar, all hell has let loose.

Delilah keep your distance from the weightlifting lads… oh noooo you should have listened, how are you going to get down from that chandelier now

You’ll be fine as you are GG, sounds as though you’ve got it covered… all of it.
A lot of happy looking nubile young men following you
Oh heck, maybe fetch a tea towel for your backside..
Stop sashaying, it makes them worse, noisy lot.

GG13 if you look in the cupboard at the top of the stairs there are some Chanel dresses that * Charleygirl* forgot last night. She has gone to Fortnums today to stock up on quail's
eggs and caviar plus several bottles of champagne so she won't notice.

Sorry I am late, popped into our local on Sunday lunchtime to recruit some nubile young men to help us out here.

Woke up a couple of hours ago wearing a barkeepers overall and a bow tie, anyone got any spare clothes I can borrow 😳

I like the sound of the weightlifting lads!

I can handle a motley lot AGAA4, but thanks for the heads-up.

Be careful what you wish for Delila those matelots are the crew of HMS Sulky Squid headed by the Admiral. A motley lot. Don't worry though I've asked the weightlifting lads from the gym to come later and they are a sight to behold.

Oh dear, no - I thought it was the sprouts, but when I went into the snug it turned out the pong was coming from the Admiral… we really must get him into that sheep dip.

Do you think they’ll get on with the llamas Pitt?

Doodle

Pittcity got any more …..friends? 😍

Nope, but there was a man at the door earlier who soldme a box of kittens. Anybody want one?

Early bird, that’s me. I want to get my hands on those matelots before everyone else does (that Charleygirl for instance), but just back from the harbour and still no sign.

I’ll hold you to that Doodle, thanks, always up for a new cocktail!

Crumbs Delia you are in early. You’re welcome to the snug I’m sure but you’ll have to out up with the Admiral sleeping off last night’s excesses.
If you come back tonight I will make you one of my new Christmas cocktails. It’s called Rudolph’s Revenge. Very potent, you’ll be flying through the sky(light) in no time. ⚡️

I’ve come early and I’ve brought my scissors in case any of those young matelots need a trim when they arrive. Can I have the snug for the afternoon please Laura? I’ll clear up afterwards.

It all looked so warm and welcoming last night, from the outside anyway, but there’s a strong smell of last night’s sprouts, or is it the llamas - should we open some windows?

Right, I’ve tested the sprouts, just as I was directed, bit my teeth into them good and proper, and I can say they will be perfect by Christmas Day. The fish I caught from the pond will be perfect for Nick Stain to cook. I might put a few away though because fermented fish will go very nicely with the sprouts and turkey.
I’ll help you in the bar now then Doodle, hopefully we’ll get a few pints of poteen whilst we’re there.

Oreo of course I have a lovely selection of sparkling dresses. I do insist you wear operating theatre type gloves when handling my clothes but do not worry, everything will be supplied.

The servants' entrance is at the side, you will not miss it and I will make sure that one of my six maids will be there to escort you. I am rather short-staffed, one just cannot find suitable staff.

🔔bing bong. Ding a ling
Keep an eye on the sprouts, 21 days to go

Have skinned the biggest tomatoes on matchsticks for you boheminan. At least I think they’re tomatoes. There are some very strange screams coming up through the floorboards. We've dragged up the Admiral to add the third leg to your table. Enjoy.

Right! bar...lady?.

I don't like poteen, it looks too much like water. I want 6 pints of Cats Piss lager, 3 triple shots of bent banana cocktail (served in half pint jars with cherries on matchsticks - don't try and fob me off with small tomatoes). On the slate.

I'm at the 2 legged table in the corner