WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

Laura is getting to grips with kilt man but can't find his sporran. I will be up to serve at the bar soon as all the other staff are otherwise engaged.

Pittcity got any more …..friends? 😍

bohemian I detect a person of quality in our midst. One round of poteen coming up………..by round two you won’t care what you’re drinking 🤣

What I want madam is someone in this evil watering hole to serve me with a round of drinks, something other than llama pee or wrung out sporran

Good evening bohemian, if it’s servicing you want I’ll summon Thor. Sorry I’m just tangled up in this kilt, phew, hot in here

'SERVICE.....perlease'

I’m an expert at putting IKEA kilts together tell him to hang on and I’ll be over

The Admiral going into the sheep dip can only be a good thing as he was quite wiffy last time we met .
If the vet comes to check the llamas he needs to not wear that furry hat that he had on last time no wonder the llamas got confused

I have lots of spare tassels for anyone who wants the but they are are all attached to my winter vests so you may want to unpick them but I’ve got lots of glue for those who don’t feel the cold
doodle I do not shop atMadam Pom Poms so not interested in her new leather lines I only ever wear premium P V C

I’ll make sure I’ve got the sheep dip pit ready for you Brook just herd them all straight in as soon as you’ve got them off the boat. I’ve got May Hem on standby the other side of the pit
Showing off her wares to attract the Admiral. He’ll walk right in without looking where he’s going.
Well done you and Roses for rounding them up

Gee Thanks Roses that’s the llamas all tethered up on the boat now, much better than the train, the Admiral has really come up trumps this time. We’re setting sail soon, should be back before midnight

Out the way AGA cor let me at him

Ooh la la Pittcity send him round. Sorry Admiral I'm going to be busy.

AGAA4

I need some help bringing this big barrel up the cellar steps. The Admiral has put on so much weight and he's downed ten pints of poteen. I would leave him down there but don't want his 'flavour' in the drinks. He does reek a bit

My "friend" will help you AGA.
He's just bought a new kilt from IKEA and is having trouble putting it together.

I've asked Nick Stain to come and cook the fish. Maddy has caught some in the pond behind the Argy. The one the llamas like to bask in.

We could get May Hem to dress up as Nell Gwyn. Basket of oranges (sold at a good profit) and a bit of decollété and Bob's your uncle. Hasn't that posh one with the big house and starff got a spare frock? Seems her style ...

A bit! He pongs more than the llamas. I suggest when brook rounds them up we put them and the Admiral through the sheep dip. We can add in a bit of eu de Brussels to make them smell better.

I’ll have a word with the Finney family see if we can take them through Albert’s hall, I believe the acoustics are good for a bit of a song song

I need some help bringing this big barrel up the cellar steps. The Admiral has put on so much weight and he's downed ten pints of poteen. I would leave him down there but don't want his 'flavour' in the drinks. He does reek a bit

We could call in James Fartin or Genome de Crampio to do a bit of cheffing.

Ooh, jellied eels! For genuine authenticity, Doodle, I'll tell them it's Billingsgate?

ixion you could take them along to Flappers Fish Market (where the cockles and eels come from). Tell them it’s Covent Garden, they won’t know the difference.

The Culture Cruise is due in tomorrow. I feel it will be better to greet them in the dark as they disembark. Not that I'm ashamed or anything but.
The English fry up must be Full, none of your American hash brown nonsense. Fried bread only, and crisp, please.
Who's cooking? Didn't they have quite an upmarket chef on a previous cruise? No pressure, then.

Any ideas for a little tour would be appreciated. I've already earmarked Pigstrotter Alley as the inspiration for Diagon Alley after J.K.R. was positively smitten when she visited.
What else would be thoroughly British? Poisson et frites?

Roses do you get your tassels from Madam PomPoms? I see she’s branched out into a new leather line this year. If she’s not careful sexy Sadie will be over there demanding her customers back.

Maddy I could use some help behind the bar. We haven’t found a new barman yet (at least not one that could keep it up long enough)
List of cocktails on the wall and the pork scratchings are in the llamas…😡