Gransnet forums

Chat

Unable to fall asleep and I’m so so tired

(89 Posts)
Bonnybanko Wed 06-Dec-23 00:07:20

Hi are there any people out there unable to sleep because I’m wide awake at a very late hr for me, my sleeping patern has gone all to pot on the loss of my dh🥲

Any advice would be greatly received

biglouis Tue 12-Mar-24 11:06:33

Because of running an international business (when most of my customers are 8 hours behind) my sleep pattern has gone out of the window. I ofren dont go to bed at all and then sleep next day. I avoid daytime appointments like the plague because I can never guarantee being there to keep them.

If I havnt slept within an hour of going to bed I get up, have a shower and do something else. No point in lying there. Its just a waste of time when I could be earning money.

merc09 Tue 12-Mar-24 11:00:24

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Doli55 Sun 10-Dec-23 16:25:45

So sorry about to hear about your loss Bonnybanko. Its not suprising that your equilibrium has been jolted, but your sleep patterns will hopefully settle in time with the help of the advice on here.

Avanew Sun 10-Dec-23 15:16:03

So many reasons for not being able to sleep - grief, anxiety, years of getting up to baby/ being a carer, the wrong kind of job! Like many I'd have to put my hand up to most of these, have rarely been in a position to get a good night's sleep. But like CrazyH I find television has some benefits, in my case it is being able to watch really hilarious comedy and laugh out loud. A no-holds-barred good laugh does seem to drive out other thoughts, if only I can get off to sleep before they come back again. I appreciate that in some situations in life this may not be an option, but I first discovered the saving power of a good laugh when I was 18, first year at university and my precious mother had died.

Doodledog Sun 10-Dec-23 09:38:17

Doodledog

I’ve been awake for ages. I got to sleep ok, but as I often do I woke up very early. My sleep headband is out of charge, so I can’t play the rain noises that help to get me back to sleep (my fault, as I should have charged it before the weekend but forgot). I might get a bit more sleep if I try now, but if I do I will sleep late and struggle to sleep tonight.

As soon as I posted I turned off the light and went back to sleep. Sure enough I’ve just awoken. By the time I get turned around the morning will have gone, and I have a lot to do today😡

Bonnybanko Sun 10-Dec-23 09:00:23

Hello everyone only 3 pit stops for me last night I’ve had a good sleep at long last

Curlygrey Sun 10-Dec-23 08:47:26

Wow I’m so encouraged by the range of ways in which people are dealing with being unable to sleep.
I sleep better now than I did ten years ago when work stress was causing me many problems. However I still wake up just a few times a month between 3 and 5 am and being awake then makes me feel miserable even if I was happy enough when I first woke.
I shall try out some of the suggestions here, thank you.

Whitewavemark2 Sun 10-Dec-23 08:26:12

I sleep in shifts😄. My sleeping pattern has changed over the past year or two. But to get enough sleep I do need to go to bed pretty early. So in bed by 9 when I fall very easily and heavily asleep until about 1-2 when I wake and then spend the next couple of hours reading or on my iPad until 3-4 when I then go to sleep again waking between 7-8. I simply cannot get straight back to sleep in the middle of the night which is annoying.

But it is what it is.

grandMattie Sun 10-Dec-23 05:48:21

I have no problem getting to sleep. Mine is staying asleep. I seem to nap during the night, waking several times, the completely from 0300 onwards. It is exhausting. I have (classical) music on very softly all night, which helps if I don’t sleep on my hearing ear.
I try to have a sleep after lunch, but don’t always manage one.

Doodledog Sun 10-Dec-23 05:35:45

I’ve been awake for ages. I got to sleep ok, but as I often do I woke up very early. My sleep headband is out of charge, so I can’t play the rain noises that help to get me back to sleep (my fault, as I should have charged it before the weekend but forgot). I might get a bit more sleep if I try now, but if I do I will sleep late and struggle to sleep tonight.

crazyH Sun 10-Dec-23 02:03:11

It’s nearly 2 a.m. and I’m wide awake. Just one of those things. Most people find Tv keeps them from sleeping. In my case ,it aids my sleep. I tend to turn the TV off and analyse what I’ve just watched, mostly documentaries. I find solving virtual problems keeps me from worrying about my very real problems - quite perverse in a way 😂

Candelle Sun 10-Dec-23 01:10:41

Jess20, similarly with me and a girlfriend: she is rising for her early morning walk and has showered and breakfasted whilst I can still, on a bad night, be just drifting off to sleep. We are all wired differently and need to find something that works for us.

Jess20 Sat 09-Dec-23 22:43:14

I play some sort of noise, at the moment Ocean Sounds although I have plays others like night sounds. I am easily woken (I'm a carer) but the normal sounds of the house don't disturb me when there's a background 'white noise' of some kind. I also find it makes me fall asleep more easily. I don't play it if I'm having a night of not sleeping well as I want to associate it with a good night's sleep. You have my sympathy as poor sleep is awful. I am a night own and a friend is a sleepless lark and we have been known to WhatsApp while I'm still up with a late night and she's up early getting breakfast 🤭

Lucyd Sat 09-Dec-23 21:06:17

I often toss and turn and find it difficult to fall asleep. Sleepio didn't work for me. I love the idea of a star projector but am terribly shortsighted and when I tried a similar projector (can't remember what it was called but it shone a huge circle on the ceiling which increased and decreased in size) but to me it was just a blur! Best thing to do is to get up and do something but my house is too cold in the middle of the night! Luckily if I have a sleepless night I often sleep well the following night. Getting out in the fresh air during the day also helps me sleep.

tictacnana Sat 09-Dec-23 20:41:16

Radio4 extra. Very comforting.

Stansgran Sat 09-Dec-23 20:22:30

I think it was Giles Coren where I read that.

Stansgran Sat 09-Dec-23 20:21:53

I read an article that people used to have two sleeps in the Middle Ages,awakening at two ish for Matins presumably if you were religious and then have a second sleep. Perhaps we are still programmed this way. So people getting up for a warm drink and a book are tuning in to their ancestors.

Gundy Sat 09-Dec-23 18:36:23

travelsafar listening to a podcast or audiobook with a soothing voice can put a person right to sleep. It’s like having your mommy read to you when you were a child.

NanKate I do segmented sleep. Never have trouble falling asleep but I then wake up about 3-4 hrs later and am wide awake. I don’t fight it - I get up, go sit in a dimly lit living room, bring my Kindlebook (on dark mode), sometimes I will have a hot drink. Within 1.5-2 hrs I’m drowsy and stumble back to bed for another 3-4 hrs.

Whether I sleep 6-8 hrs total… doesn’t always happen, but I do know my cat relies on her midnight treat!
USA Gundy

SWT61 Sat 09-Dec-23 17:58:11

Oh you poor thing, so sorry for your loss, on a practical note, i take an over counter antihistamine an hour before bed and it works better than anything else I've tried. Best wishes x

mistymitts Sat 09-Dec-23 17:01:12

If I go up to bed to sleep at a reasonable hour, I just can’t sleep. So, I watch TV, and always fall asleep, waking up about 02.00 am. I then go up to bed and can sleep. My first sleep in front of the TV is surprisingly good and feel better for it. For the sleep in bed I will sometimes listen to Calm or just use eye mask and get comfortable. The sleep before midnight is meant to be more beneficial than anything after wards. And contrary to popular belief, it’s a myth that we need 7-8 hours a night.

Joan123 Sat 09-Dec-23 16:15:08

Try listening to ‘Nothing much happens’ which you can find via Google. I find Katheryn’s stories very soothing and she’s very knowledgeable about relaxation and sleep.

Candelle Sat 09-Dec-23 16:03:33

PamQS you are correct: cortisol is produced at about 4.30 a.m.

To all who have been bereaved, I send condolences, sleeping for you may be a different matter altogether and perhaps a bereavement counsellor would have some information and help/advice for you?

Candelle Sat 09-Dec-23 16:00:00

Apologies, I should have added that I absolutely agree with many contributors here that the worst thing one can do is worry about not sleeping. Just accept the fact that you are a poor sleeper and try not to fight but work with it.

PamQS Sat 09-Dec-23 15:51:07

After a major bereavement and a spell of I’ll health which has led to me taking a lot of meds, I’m unable to sleep for a whole night. Either I’m awake downstairs until 3-4 am, or I feel sleepy earlier and fall asleep before 2 am, but am wide awake about 4 am, and go downstairs, where the cat is always happy to see me!

I’ve always been a ‘night owl’, but this has put me on a completely different timetable from DH. He’s a very light sleeper and gets up early, so I don’t like to disturb him by having the light on to read, listening to audiobooks etc.

I’ve read that we can be woken in the night by a surge of cortisol, a stress hormone, so stressing about not sleeping is probably counter-productive.

Candelle Sat 09-Dec-23 15:50:13

I am in your club, too.

I tried 'Sleepio', an on-line course of sessions in which one is taught various facts regarding sleep and encouraged to do this and that. The hardest bit for me was, if unable to sleep for half an hour or so, to get up out of bed, go downstairs and undertake an activity, only returning to bed when actively tired. I just couldn't do this on cold wintery nights, so failed to complete the course. Sleepio may be helpful for others.

The Sleepio course emphasises the fact that bedrooms are for sleep only (perhaps the writer is not married?!) so one is not supposed to do anything other than sleep there.

Overall Sleepio is helpful and may be beneficial for others.

My natural bedtime is growing later and later and is now around 3.00 am. I know, I know and yes, it is late (or early!) but I am now able to go to sleep whereas previously I just tossed and turned for many hours.

I have also begun warming the bedroom more than I used to do and this I also find helpful (Mr C isn't impressed).

I have resorted to Piriton (an antihistamine containing chlorphenamine) which if only taken occasionally, can help one to drift off. If it is taken daily the effect wears off.

I am reluctant to take prescription sleeping pills but understand that this is necessary for some. Melatonin and magnesium should be cleared by your GP if you take other medications.

Don't take a compilation of sleep-enhancing items as there could be an accumulative effect on breathing.

I am sure that we all know that the bedroom should not feel too hot or cold; that we do not use our mobiles/PCs for at least half an hour before bed; that we have a milky drink and a warm bath prior to retiring but despite all of this, many of us still can't sleep!

Thank to everyone for suggestions shere, I will try them and see if I can be ready for sleep a little earlier.

I wish everyone a good night's sleep - the best feeling in the world - almost...