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Looking Good - Who makes the effort?

(57 Posts)
Grand2dogs Thu 28-Dec-23 11:55:31

Relationships whether married or not are important to us all but in a relationship who makes the effort to look good or should we?. A few days ago a Grandma friend of mine said “I don’t bother for him any more, he’s lost interest” I found that strange, my wife is much younger than me and yes I make the effort. I wear things that I think makes me look good, I work out as I get beyond my 62 years I will continue. What about you guys? Do you think like me or the opposite and does it make a difference to you or is it a waster of time bothering.

Callistemon21 Thu 28-Dec-23 17:11:07

I showered, blowdried my hair, perfumed, put on full makeup including false eyelashes, best dress and high heels then spent the day cleaning and working through 7 loads of washing.

But at least I look utterly gorgeous 🙂

Grand2dogs Thu 28-Dec-23 17:03:06

Apologies didn’t mean to offend

Poppyred Thu 28-Dec-23 16:38:25

🙄🙄

MrsKen33 Thu 28-Dec-23 16:10:17

Each to his own eh?

Callistemon21 Thu 28-Dec-23 16:08:13

MrsKen33

Besides which Grand2dogs most of us are not ‘guys*. We are ladies or women.
I am not male and in no way connected with a bonfire

I'm not a guy either so can't really answer.

Jaxjacky Thu 28-Dec-23 15:59:00

I’ve no problem with being addressed as ‘guys’ Grand2dogs it’s very usual now, a friendly greeting, imo carry on.

BigBertha1 Thu 28-Dec-23 15:51:22

We both make an effort every day, showered and clean clothes, change to go out into something a bit smarter, make up and perfume every day...me that is.

MrsKen33 Thu 28-Dec-23 15:43:30

Besides which Grand2dogs most of us are not ‘guys*. We are ladies or women.
I am not male and in no way connected with a bonfire

Lexisgranny Thu 28-Dec-23 14:53:12

I do make the effort for me, but my husband always notices what I wear and encourages me to dress attractively. After years of wearing business suits my wardrobe mainly consists of smart casual clothes, the criteria for me to buy something is that it is well cut. I tend to wear trousers rather than skirts, but wear jeans regularly. I would not go out without makeup.

Quite honestly I don’t give a fig about what others think is age appropriate, I am the same size as an octogenarian as I was when I was in my teens and twenties

Skydancer Thu 28-Dec-23 14:32:14

I always try to look nice and it doesn't cost me much. I buy cheap clothes interspersed with more expensive ones. I wear skirts and dresses more than trousers as trousers are not flattering on me. Last week I wore a new jumper and skirt and with a long necklace felt great. If I were to dress sloppily it would make me feel awful. The main problem is I can't do anything about the wrinkles!

Grand2dogs Thu 28-Dec-23 14:02:48

No it won’t put me off. Everybody’s opinion is important.

biglouis Thu 28-Dec-23 13:32:59

When I was younger and worked in a publi service I used to dress up to the nines. My hair was always beautifully done and I always wore full make up and co-ordinating jewellery.

Looking back I used clothes and make up as "props" to give me confidence.

When I went to uni as a mature student that very quickly fell away. I outgrew the need for it in the casual student atmosphere. Even the academics wore jeans, t-shirts and casual clothes. You were judged on your intellect and on what you wrote and published, not on what you wore.

I now place very little value in other people's opinions and I dress for comfort and convenience. If I have a visitor expected I may make a little extra effort. Its probably ironic that I sell vintage jewellery and accessories for a living. I have boxes and boxes of the stuff and would not be short of a tiara if the king invited me to Buckingham palace. I might dress up a bit then, But that isnt going to happen anytime soon.

Judy54 Thu 28-Dec-23 13:31:19

Looking good for yourself is important. I love wearing make up and doing my hair. Mostly I wear smart casual clothes but like to wear something dressy to go out for a meal or for a special occasion. Mr J always compliments me on my clothes and He is a very smart dresser too and always well turned out. It is down to the individual and how it makes them feel.

Smileless2012 Thu 28-Dec-23 13:30:08

Good for you Grand2dogs it's not easy getting your self confidence back.

Welcome to GN tchsmile.

Grand2dogs Thu 28-Dec-23 13:25:40

Thanks so much. When I was popping medicating steroids and having doses of Chemo. I lost all my self confidence it’s what it does to you. But I kept walking and cycling so when I did meet people I felt more confident. And the odd “well you’re looking well” did me a lot of good. The feedback from people is so important because it’s “real” world and after not being able to leave the house for over a year because of my condition and Covid you lose touch sometimes. Thanks again.

JaneJudge Thu 28-Dec-23 13:21:28

Casdon

It should be nothing to do with being in a relationship? Making the effort to feel and look good is all about us and our self esteem. I make the effort, for me.

same here smile although my efforts at the moment appear to be epsom salt baths and afternoon naps - rather than make up and heels - which sounds like something off the sound of music

pascal30 Thu 28-Dec-23 13:19:10

I would prefer good hygiene in a man to him getting dressed up.. having both is even better.. I always look after my appearance when I go out...

henetha Thu 28-Dec-23 13:15:53

Even living alone, I think it makes us feel better if we make an effort to look good. I don't think the word good applies to me any more, but I do always try to look reasonable. Tidy clothes and a bit of make up every day, and earrings etc, make me feel better about myself.

Purplepixie Thu 28-Dec-23 13:12:32

Grand2dogs - I think it is great that you look after yourself in such a way. Can you pop along and give my hubby some tips?
I have always looked after myself and I got lots of praise from both sex to say that I look good for my age. Hubby had to be asked to take a shower for over the christmas period and still wearing the same clothes - tramps look better but I love him but I am not his mam!

Kim19 Thu 28-Dec-23 13:08:18

I smarten up simply for my self esteem and the feel good factor it generates. If anyone else benefits from this then that would be considered a bonus.

Theexwife Thu 28-Dec-23 13:05:03

Grand2dogs If you are male or new you will receive negativity or your intentions questioned by a few. I hope it doesn’t put you off.

If the poster was female the question would not be an issue.

Poppyred Thu 28-Dec-23 13:02:35

I make the effort every day for me.

Theexwife Thu 28-Dec-23 13:02:21

I dress more for comfort and do not like what I call ‘look at me’ clothes or full makeup on an older woman.

I do not have a partner but if my daughter questioned how I was looking would probably have a rethink.

I dont think people can really say they dress for themselves, unless you are looking in a mirror all day you are unaware how you look, I think they are bothered about the opinion of others or comfort would be the priority.

Grand2dogs Thu 28-Dec-23 12:59:01

I would never make fun, I asked advice because I sometimes feel I am wasting my time but I guess self pride comes into it. I agree I am doing it for me too. When I was diagnosed with Vasculitis four years ago, I just couldn’t make the effort for me or anybody but as it’s now more under control it’s sparked me into life. Peoples opinions are important to me

Bella23 Thu 28-Dec-23 12:41:36

GrannyGravy13

I make the effort for me and me alone, if DH benefits from this it’s a win win situation.

Snap!GrannyGracy.
I also question the poster's motives is he doing it to show his partner up or for a laugh at the Grans on here?