A family member has been described as 'overbearing and opinionated'.

I am appreciating all the comments being made in response to my post. She has a husband, but he does not say a lot, although whether this is chicken and egg I don't know. He has never been very chatty, but certainly is less so now. I am not going to say anything to my SIL because she is not thick-skinned and I know would be very hurt indeed if I did. She is actually very kind in lots of ways and well-meaning so this is why people just let her behave the way she does. I think part of the problem is that she is someone who can be coped with in small doses and they have had quite an extended stay here.

I guess you could say to your friends 'I know what she's like but please don't let it affect your friendship'.

If SIL lives alone she probably has quite a lonely existence and seizes any opportunity to 'get noticed' and have her say.

Don't let it bother you, just keep on being tolerant although once she starts perhaps someone could swiftly change the subject??

RosiesMaw

I reckon she’s on GN and. I have my suspicions who she is too!

Absolutely

If people in her company are not comfortable with her behaviour let them deal with it themselves. We all have our little foibles if you get on with her in general then leave it be.

This.

I think I tend to do that but with the idea that I was sharing similar experiences, not taking over. Oh dear 🫢

I thought that it was compulsory that all families had to have at least one member like this.....

Your SIL does not sound like a know all if she carries an iPad everywhere she goes. Does she have diminishing memory by any chance she might need Google for reassurance.

If people in her company are not comfortable with her behaviour let them deal with it themselves. We all have our little foibles if you get on with her in general then leave it be.

I know I'm pretty keen on what is fact and what is myth.
I hope I'm not so rude though and wouldn't Google in a social setting!
... I do, however, have a shortcut to "Google Scholar" on my laptop however and I do wish I didn't care if something I read is accurate or not.
Unfortunately there are too many "partial truths" out there masquerading as fact.

Nothing worse than a googler- I don't know anyone who does that during conversations thankfully (except on here!). I suspect it is a cultural difference. When I think about it, not many actually google at all in any circumstances that I know of . I do- but then I was born in the UK.

People who google everything to check things while the conversation is still ongoing drive me mad. If I think something is inaccurate I might satisfy my curiosity when I'm alone, but wouldn't do it in front of the person who'd made an error and point it out out in front of others. Does it matter that Kevin Costner wasn't married to Demi Moore (or whatever)? If an error was clearly going to cause inconvenience (eg someone having been given the wrong travel information) there are ways of getting that across without being a smartarse, but I know a few people who just can't resist it.

We had a Mrs Know It All at our Craft class .
She is wealthy and lives in a huge house in the best area .
Everyone else at our group was not so well off .
Her endless lectures were met with stony silence .

Looking back , I think that it's the kind of behaviour , which an inadequate person demonstrates to make themselves more important than they are !

Try yawning - other people might yawn too !

As my Mum used to say, "in one ear and out the other".

I think it can be a bit of an insecurity thing. Trying to empathise but getting it wrong ! Coupled with the me me me syndrome by the sounds of it. I would just ignore it, she probably won’t change at this stage of life. Change the subject,perhaps?

My mum did this. It closed down many a conversation and she was blithely unaware. Her cousin pulled her up on it and she told me about it, she was deeply upset and offended. I never had the nerve to say anything. I am afraid I did it myself when I was younger, because of her example - but I hope I have cured myself of it now.

“That’s nice, but we’re talking about c, not g.”

“Back to what we were saying…”

“We’re not talking about you now…”

The only way anything changes is if her behaviour is no longer tolerated.

Some people have very little self awareness.

This sounds like my bil. I can only spend 2 days max with him . It’s a shame as I’m very close to my sister . I just drink more wine and try not it get to me 🤣

RosiesMaw

I reckon she’s on GN and. I have my suspicions who she is too!

Agreed!!!!

OP, if you say something do you really think in your heart of hearts she is going to change. I don't know how old she is but unless she's a teenager(!) it's unlikely isn't it. All you will achieve is a massive row or sulk and once that's subsided she will be just the same person.

Just quietly and discretely make it known to your visitors that you are aware of her behaviour but otherwise just grin and bear it. Not easy I know.

Some people do this. Those of us around them feel it more when in company. It’s embarrassing and you don’t want others thinking that you are like that too.
It’s much worse when it’s family because you can’t distance yourself.
I’d say don’t worry too much it’s common enough behaviour just not particularly mannerly.

This is my sister always has to be right and can be very nasty, scathing, judgemental and hurtful. After a particularly bad session with her today on the phone when she was talking over me as she knew the facts of something we had been talking about and every body was a liar. She was getting more and more heated so for once in my life I had had enough so I shouted back I’ve had enough I’m going, goodbye, and turned the phone off. I was still shaking an hour later in fact I’m still not right 3 hours later.

I doubt very much if anything you say will make any difference; these people have supreme self-confidence and no self-doubt, and nothing dents their self-belief.

Isnt that what we do on Gransnet, share our experiences and opinions, face to face most would not be quite as open, for example I’m open about my opinion on Brexit or the Tories but wouldn’t dream of voicing them with friends.

The IPad we both use to check facts on all sorts of things, mostly trivia

Speaking from experience, I doubt there’s anything you can say without causing a major row. Some people are just like that and you can only try to steer the conversation back when you can get a word in. They tend not to have many friends to tell all their experiences to and wonder why …

There must be someone training them join the club. I admit the iPad gets you, especially among your friends.