Don't accept lifts from strange men.

No .
Definitely not .
Not after two nearly unfortunate experiences not so long ago .
Both guys saw me really struggling with my shopping in bad weather and expected sex as a reward .

It's a tricky one really. When I was young my father used to offer lifts tocomplete strangers but there were'nt that many cars around then. I hitch.hiked to Yogoslavia all through Europe without incident in my 20's and I did accept a lift from a stranger when there was ice on the hill where I live recently.. I would saythis man was probably being kind and neighbourly but I suppose we have to trust our instincts.. The media has had such an awful inluence onour trust in the goodness of humanity. However I wouldn't like children or young people to accept lifts from strangers..

I can understand those declining the offer of a lift. I would do the same.
About 15 years ago my son was working from an office based in Central London. He was driving out through the city when he saw an elderly lady looking distressed. He stopped to check if she was OK. She had missed her bus whilst on her way to an important church service. As the church was on his route, my son offered her a lift which she gratefully accepted.
Apparently, they had a nice chat and once deposited outside the church, she said she would pray for him.
As he was going through a difficult time in his life he appreciated the offer!

So I guess I’m in the minority then.

Very recently I missed a bus by a nanosecond and a kind (male) driver noticed my plight and immediately pulled up at the bus stop to offer me a lift; I just climbed right in. The driver was very upset on my behalf and offered to take me wherever I wanted to go - which fortunately for him was not very far.

My snap ‘risk assessment’ was as follows: I was observed getting into the van by several people, there was a logo on the van and it was from a local company, it was a spontaneous response from the driver ……. and, it’s been my experience that most people are kind. Had it happened in the city I would still have accepted, but would have taken a photo of driver and van and sent them to my son and husband.

I would have accepted the lift, highly unlikely that a sex offender would be picking up an old woman with a trolly and shopping bag, I also very much doubt he had a plan to steal the shopping.

Three years ago while I was in Florida with my husband we got a call from our daughter back home in Ontario that our three year old grandson was taken seriously ill and was in hospital.I decided there and then to get on a flight to Toronto with a connecting flight to London ontario.There was a winter storm and while on the plane the pilot announced that all connecting flights were cancelled. I got chatting to the passenger beside me telling him I really needed to get to the hospital, I was pretty upset. Another passenger sitting in front heard this and turned round and offered to drive me, he said it was just one hour out of his way.I was unsure if I should accept his offer but as I was desperate to get to the hospital I decided to go for it. I called my daughter once we landed and told her what I was going to do, she thought I was crazy, the passenger talked to her and even sent a photo of his driver’s licence.The drive took over four hours due to the snow storm but he got me there, took me right up to the front door of the hospital. I will never forget the kindness of this man. Mind you, I would not have got into the car mentioned by curtain twitcher!

grannyactivist It's true. Most people just want to help.

I was a hitch-hiker for many years from age 15 - even one time being given a lift by a group of 'Hell's Angels'. How did we let ourselves become so fearful, as a nation?

I'm one who would act along the same lines as grannyactivist.

I also offer lifts to people who look like they need help - although I've never stopped for a hitchhiker.

The only time I've had second thoughts about what I've done was when a lady stopped to ask the way somewhere while I was gardening in my front garden. The address she wanted was about a mile away in the middle of a new estate, so I just fetched my car keys, locked the house and drove her there. It did occur to me afterwards that she may have had an accomplice hiding around the corner waiting to break in while I was gone. But all was well.

Chestnut

Bella23

I wouldn't accept a lift from a stranger male or female and as mentioned I would not stop for anyone in case their "Friends" were hidden out of view.
It sounds very hard but better safe than sorry.

I agree wholeheartedly. I guess the problem is making sure our grandchildren get that message loud and clear.

When I think of all the hitchhiking I did, sometimes alone, it makes me realise that the past really is another country. Even in the 1960s I never told my mother, she would have been worried sick I was hitchhiking from London to Edinburgh alone.

Your so right Chestnut, hitchhiking was a part of life when we were young.
We are drip-feeding our grandchildren "Stranger Danger",as it was called when I taught.
My late mother-in-law when she was quite elderly made us realise how easy it is to make a mistake. She told us she was out in the pouring rain and someone offered her a lift, both had their hoods up and she said yes. When the car started she panicked and then the chap put his hood down and she realised it was luckily a neighbour.

This individual may well have had the very best of intentions but unfortunately I have to side with the cautious gang... never get into a car with anyone that you don't know.
Hitchhiking abroad in my twenties... most went well ; one went very badly although my friend and I escaped by the skin of our teeth and by luck.
Clubbing in my late twenties a lift home went very badly......
What didn't kill me , very , very luckily made me stronger but I am still careful.
Youth and beauty might indeed mark you out as a target but sexual and other assaults are also and sometimes wholly based on perceived vulnerability , so my age won't necessarily protect me now that I'm old and grey.
Sorry to any male readers of Gnet , 98% of the guys are decent we know. I feel the same way about this as I do about constantly checking over my shoulder walking home. It's sort of an affront to the decent guys but we've got to do it.
I doubt if I'd take a chance with a woman either , as Bella 23 says, she might be hiding her mates.

Grantanow

Has society changed or is it that the media devote lots of coverage to a small number of events and so make us all anxious? I always walked to school on my own . Now most kids seem to be driven there. Has the risk actually changed?

I believe it’s media coverage of a relatively few rare events.
I bet if somebody checked stats, and this being a forum then somebody will😂 they’d find that murder by a stranger of a pedestrian picked up by a car isn’t all that much different to 70 years ago or 50 years ago or 30 years ago.

I was driving home about 15 years ago from the Naval Base where I had been working just as a lot of sailors were leaving. One of them turned round to thumb a lift but I shook my head apologetically... He gave me such a lovely smile of understanding that I stopped and took him into town..... (This was despite having been kidnapped and taken past my home and into a forest by an eminent professor in 1968!) The sailor and I had an amazing conversation. Not sure I would do it now....It must be said that there were probably plenty of security cameras around the base....

Not accepting lifts from strangers is a no brainer

We teach our kids not to trust strangers, so when we get older, people's intentions become mostly good?

Scratching my brain why this thread is even needed

gloriana You say I d accept if he looked ok !!! What does looking ok mean ? oh I get it if he didn’t have ‘I m a rapist’ written on his forehead
No I wouldn’t have accepted a lift with a stranger, probably not a woman either although that would be a bit more of a think ?

No I never accepted lifts as a young person and never ever hitchhiked I was always taught about stranger danger even 70+ years ago and did as I was taught

I accepted a lift from one of the dads at a toddler group that my grandson went to. I had dropped him off and it began to rain. I did not know the dad before he spoke to me in the playground. He offered me a lift because it was raining and I automatically said yes, without thinking. It was only when I was sitting in the car that I realised I should not have accepted, and nor would I have if I had not been feeling unwell that day, and not thinking straight. I still remember him driving me out of the carpark, and wondering whether he would be letting me out again. I said he could drop me off just five minutes down the road, near the shops. I did not want him finding out where I lived. He let me out, no harm done, but I think it's risky to get into a car with a perfect stranger - man or woman.

I think, Grantanow that society has changed. There are many more people than there used to be, and seem bolder and more predatory. I do gather, though, that murder by a stranger is rarer than someone we are familiar with, but there are other crimes, such as kidnap etc. These things have always gone on. My nan told me that she once caught a taxi and the driver drove her down a country lane and stated his intentions. She managed to talk him out of it. My own mum had several incidents throughout her life, and I remember as a child, playing outside my home, being ordered to 'come here' by a man, a total stranger. I ran up the garden path and he waited to see if an adult came to the door. I dread to think what would have happened if my mum had not been there.

Years ago I was driving along a country road when my car broke down on a bend. It was late afternoon in winter and soon to get dark. Few cars used the road but one came along and the male driver stopped to offer me a lift to the nearest telephone box (before the days of mobile phones). My heart was in my mouth. I didn't know whether to accept or not. Then I noticed a child in the back which slightly reassured me. I accepted the lift and the stranger very kindly took me a mile or so up the road to the telephone box where I phoned my husband. I was not a member of the breakdown services. I think most people are kind actually.

I would decline whether a man or a woman

I hitch hiked to and from Uni when I was younger. I even accepted a lift from someone I met on the ferry back from France after I lost my purse.
Now I think how lucky I was.
I wouldn’t get in a car with a stranger any more than I’d pick a stranger up, though I sometimes feel bad about that.

Apparently according to a study I found, its possibly safer today as hardly anyone does it so those criminals who used to target hitchhikers have moved on to different areas of crime.
It's not just crime though is it. I had to ask a taxi driver to stop the other day as his driving was so dangerous.
You could also be getting in the car with a really awful driver, in fact I would think statistically that would be your biggest risk.

When my daughter was in primary school (she is now in her forties), the community police came to teach the children about keeping safe. One scenario was about a man attempting to persuade the children to get in his car. They were wisely refusing. A woman stopped her car and sent the man on his way. She then told the kids to "hop in" her car and she would drive them home. Mini-absent was the only one who refused and was much praised for doing so because the scenario was that the "bad" man and the "kind" woman were in cahoots.

I was waiting recently for my friend who takes me to an evening class. I stood under a shop awning in the dark, in the rain, when a car drew up and flashed its lights.
Assuming it was her I opened the door and started to climb in and say something. The driver, delivering pizzas, looked horrified!
😀
Some young people still hitchhike. Despite my disapproval, a young German woman who had been staying as a volunteer helper, insisted she was travelling that method. I even offered to pay her bus fare from Edinburgh to London but no. So I drove her to a garage on the way south where she could at least ask drivers and they could "inspect" eachother beforehand.

The stranger danger thing has always slightly bothered me. Are you automatically a baddie if you offer a lift? What about someone injured or terrified?

I agree with you Galaxy about scary driving.
All my DC have hitchhiked on occasions but never alone. I hope my DGC don't.

I think it was a kind gesture, takes no time to stop & offer help & if you had been really struggling with your shopping & despairing of getting home, you may have responded differently. We are being encouraged to do a good deed a day, maybe he thought that would be one.
It is a bit different with children, they are more vulnerable & most adult males would know not to offer a child a lift, so you can't really compare it.