Don't accept lifts from strange men.

I would have accepted the lift, highly unlikely that a sex offender would be picking up an old woman with a trolly and shopping bag, I also very much doubt he had a plan to steal the shopping.

So I guess I’m in the minority then.

Very recently I missed a bus by a nanosecond and a kind (male) driver noticed my plight and immediately pulled up at the bus stop to offer me a lift; I just climbed right in. The driver was very upset on my behalf and offered to take me wherever I wanted to go - which fortunately for him was not very far.

My snap ‘risk assessment’ was as follows: I was observed getting into the van by several people, there was a logo on the van and it was from a local company, it was a spontaneous response from the driver ……. and, it’s been my experience that most people are kind. Had it happened in the city I would still have accepted, but would have taken a photo of driver and van and sent them to my son and husband.

I can understand those declining the offer of a lift. I would do the same.
About 15 years ago my son was working from an office based in Central London. He was driving out through the city when he saw an elderly lady looking distressed. He stopped to check if she was OK. She had missed her bus whilst on her way to an important church service. As the church was on his route, my son offered her a lift which she gratefully accepted.
Apparently, they had a nice chat and once deposited outside the church, she said she would pray for him.
As he was going through a difficult time in his life he appreciated the offer!

It's a tricky one really. When I was young my father used to offer lifts tocomplete strangers but there were'nt that many cars around then. I hitch.hiked to Yogoslavia all through Europe without incident in my 20's and I did accept a lift from a stranger when there was ice on the hill where I live recently.. I would saythis man was probably being kind and neighbourly but I suppose we have to trust our instincts.. The media has had such an awful inluence onour trust in the goodness of humanity. However I wouldn't like children or young people to accept lifts from strangers..

No .
Definitely not .
Not after two nearly unfortunate experiences not so long ago .
Both guys saw me really struggling with my shopping in bad weather and expected sex as a reward .

I wouldn’t have got in the car whether it was a woman or a man. Kind gesture but it would have been lost on me as well. I would rather get wet.

Maybe the title should be
^Don't accept lifts from strange men - or women"?

Grantanow I often wonder this.
Most people are still kind and thoughtful to be truthful.

I used to hitch - and pick up hitchhikers even when alone.

One of the last lifts I gave was quite a few years ago now though and it was a man on his own. He said he felt uncomfortable getting in a car with an unknown woman alone. He said they "never" stopped for him.

This is all very sad in my opinion.

I used to hitch hike when I was a student.

A few years ago in Symi I was caught in a rainstorm and a man stopped to offer me a lift. I took it. He'd already picked up an English couple. He took me to my hotel which he said was owned by his cousin. Different world.
I think I might accept if he looked OK. I'd ask lots of questions before i got in.

Has society changed or is it that the media devote lots of coverage to a small number of events and so make us all anxious? I always walked to school on my own . Now most kids seem to be driven there. Has the risk actually changed?

Deff a no no, we are more aware these days of who is driving/ walking the streets . You did right refusing, don’t ever put yourself at risk. Yes maybe an act of kindness but you would never really know would you !

I used to pick up hitchhikers and never thought to worry about it, but society seems to have changed and I don't think I would do it now.
As for being picked up, I've never hitchhiked. But I did accidentally get into a strange car, years ago, and to my horror there were three men who said they would take me to a party...
I screamed and made such a fuss that they let me out.

Probably just someone being kind but you just never know and I’d have declined as well.

However, it reminds me of a time when I was at college in Manchester and had gone to Chester for the weekend (my home town).
I stayed at a friend’s house and had to be on duty by 10.30 so went to catch the bus to the station for an early train. The wretched bus didn’t come and I was panicking that I’d be in trouble when a man stopped and asked if I needed a lift. He said he passed the station so I got in. He was a kind man, dropped me off with no trouble at all but I’ve thought back many times over the years of how stupid I was and how lucky that it ended well.

Bella23

I wouldn't accept a lift from a stranger male or female and as mentioned I would not stop for anyone in case their "Friends" were hidden out of view.
It sounds very hard but better safe than sorry.

I agree wholeheartedly. I guess the problem is making sure our grandchildren get that message loud and clear.

When I think of all the hitchhiking I did, sometimes alone, it makes me realise that the past really is another country. Even in the 1960s I never told my mother, she would have been worried sick I was hitchhiking from London to Edinburgh alone.

I think it could be what it appeared to be a kind gesture, you'd never know though. The fact of the matter is we've all been hard wired since our early years, to "never accept a lift from a stranger" it's what we've told our children and grandchildren. Possibly I'd be less suspicious of a woman, offering such a gesture, particularly an older one, but that's the way the Wests sometimes operated, Rose being the one to offer the lift. I think you were right to react with caution

I did stop and offer a lift to a mother who was new to our school, who I didn't know, she was very pregnant at the time, her son was in the same class as my son and I had the kids in the car anyway when they chlambered in.

I wouldn't accept a lift from a stranger male or female and as mentioned I would not stop for anyone in case their "Friends" were hidden out of view.
It sounds very hard but better safe than sorry.

I think the advice these days is not to stop and offer a lift on a country road etc in case once you stop several people jump out with bad intentions. Best if you see someone "alone " on a country road is to ring the police to let them know. The same applies to "breakdowns" as well.

In your neighbourhood obviously very different. I got the car out to drive an elderly woman (probably my age now!!!) who was walking past my house with lots of shopping in torrential horizontal rain. She lived quite a few streets away and would have been completely drenched just before Christmas so cold as well. I could not have not done. And she was very grateful. Would I do the same for a man in the same situation? Don't know.

I would have refused too.
However, I can imagine that my adult sons might offer a lift in such circumstances, motivated purely by kindness and concern.

He probably meant well but if it happened to me I would decline too!

He probably felt sorry for you, seeing, what appeared to him, as a little old lady creeping along the road, loaded down with shopping and drenched by the rain.

I would never, ever, accept a lift from someone I did not know.
When I was in my early teens by sister and I were walking to church when someone stopped and offered us a lift. I hesitated, the driver looked vaguely familiar and he had his wife and childwith him, but I and my sister resolutely said 'no'

When we got home, he was with my parents. He was a new neighbour and he had called in to tell them what had happened and apologise because he said, he should have realised we would not know him - and all so to commend my sister and I for our behaviour in resolutely refusing the lift.

I wouldn't have got into a car with a man unless I knew him pretty well, such as an established neighbour.

What would I do if a strange woman stopped? Good question. I'd probably similarly decline. Better safe than sorry.

Years ago I have offered and accepted lifts.
I have no idea what I'd do today.

Hmmmm it would probably have been an act of kindness, but its awful how an act of kindness is viewed with uncertainty.... i was driving up our road and saw an elderly man who i have seen before walking a long distance to his home '( not on a bus route ) so i stopped and asked him if he would like a lift, he said yes, it was done purely out of kindness and he gratefully accepted, he probably felt comfortable in accepting because I am a woman...

When i was a little girl and me, mum and dad were going on holiday ( usually the Lake District ) my dad stopped so many times for hitchhikers. In they climbed and sat next to me, rucksack in boot of car and off we went.

Just out of interest, for those who would refuse, would you still refuse if a woman offered you a lift?
On several occasions I have thought of offering a lift in similar circumstances but never have.
Would you accept from a woman in her sixties ?