Car seats and 2yr olds

MissAdventure

I agree with that.
I favour firmly wrestling them into their seat.
No ifs or buts.
IN!!!

Jeez - it's like the gestapo on here!

I don't see a problem with a bit of bribery/reward. When I looked after my GS, the routine was that after lunch I would put him in the pushchair and we would go for a walk, during which he would fall asleep and get a nap. Rather than fight or manhandle him into the pushchair (which he was not keen to get in), he and I had an agreement. I would get out the packet of animal biscuits; he would choose which one he wanted; then I would hold onto it till he was settled in his pushchair - and then he got his biscuit. No fights, no controlling on my part, no upset - just a smiling boy, because I understood that he was too young to cope with being forced to do something he did not want to do, and needed an approach that reflected his age.

Result.

OP - try it - I am sure it will work. And will do him no harm whatever. We have to deal with children in ways that show an understanding of their abilities, both physical and emotional.

I did the same with my own. Trips round the supermarket were no problem - they sat in the trolley just fine because they knew their reward would be a go on the mechanical rocking deer in the foyer afterwards. And it would be accompanied by the right sort of chat - well done! - you have been so good! - I am so proud of you! - let's go and have that nice ride now!

Ditto M0nica

I agree with that.
I favour firmly wrestling them into their seat.
No ifs or buts.
IN!!!

Car safety is too serious a matter for games and bribery. There are somethings children have to understand from a very young age that they have to do. No arguing, no playing games and as far as I was conerned and using a seat or seat belt in a car was one of them.

DD, not the most biddable of children, has told me, as an adult, that I had very few rules she had to obey, but if I put on a certain look and spoke in a certain voice, she knew that what I said was totally unnegotiable, and car safety was one.

Car safety should never be a game, in case the children treat it as such.

Have been lucky so far but grand child is only 18 months so she could rebel at some point! If the car seat has a cup holder or little compartment you could try putting one of your grandson's little favourite objects in it for him to "discover" only once he is strapped in. Don't buy a new toy, use some thing he already has eg magnifying lenses, little kaleidoscope, light up key ring, coloured sellotape strips that he could look through, etc. If you are really enthusiastic ( think ott children's TV presenter!) about what is waiting for him you may get him to get in the seat. Good luck.

Oh, yes, the straightening out and going rigid! DD used to do that in the McLaren buggy.

I'd recommend taking his shoes off. A thrashing toddler can land a hefty kick.

A mother I knew when mine were tiny referred to bribes as compensations!

When my son was going rigid and refusing to get into his pushchair an elderly lady came over and told nr to tickle his tummy and sides. His legs gave way and he slid into the seat.

My daughter's dog refused to be fastened in, too!
She used to bite the children, then they'd get told off for screaming.
Pandemonium.

Graeme Hall, the TV dog expert, seems to get great results by reinforcing good behaviour with treats and lots of praise. The dogs soon bypass the naughty bit and behave well until it becomes a habit and treats can be phased out.

I predict trouble with 1 year old DGD who is very strong willed and sturdy like a Shetland pony. I'll invest in chocolate buttons. So, one for toddler, one for older sibling, handful for Granny's nerves.

My friend’s granddaughter is another who screams blue murder while being placed in her car seat. Apparently, she was screaming ‘No Daddy, please Daddy, no’ so loudly that the neighbours came out to see what was going on, They said they were on the verge of calling the Police, until they saw it was all about a car seat! The same child loves flying and is happy to buckle up for a flight - they’re off to Canada next.
I’d resort to bribery too, until it was accepted that it is what it is and everyone, ‘including the dog’ has to be fastened in.

Calipso, In that unbelievably difficult situation I would not give too hoots what my DDs thought if I bribed / rewarded with chocolate. They would never object me doing that , they are just grateful I am willing to take care of their children. If they did object then I would put the ball firmly in their court!!!! It is me doing them a favour - not the other way round!

No, the treat is only forthcoming if they climb nicely into their car seat!

I'm sorry to labour the point but 2 year olds are clever and soon cotton on to the fact that if first they make a big fuss and then do what they were supposed to do in the first place, Bingo! a treat on demand.
Bonkers.

I'd bribe with A sweet, if it came to it.
Handing them out everytime a big fuss is made only makes reinforces the idea that fusses get rewards.

Getting a reluctant 2 year old into a car seat is an absolute nightmare!! In your situation I would most definitely bribe with chocolate - why not ? If that doesn't work then you have no option but to manhandle him into his seat - if that is possible. A kicking arch backed toddler puts you in an impossible situation. Speak to his parents if they can't sort it you have no option but to tell them you simply can not take him in your car . That of course is the harsh reality , no car seat no journey. Their child their problem. It is a massive responsibility driving GC and this situation is causing you stress - I would be very stressed indeed . You can do without it! Talk to his parents - if things don't improve it is their problem not yours.

Sing a song, maybe?
"If you're happy and you know it, get in your seat!!"... clap clap...

Calipso

nanna8

Yep- I’d use chocolate if it works. You’re not his Mum, nannas are allowed to ‘indulge’!

I can't imagine the child's parents would be thrilled about that strategy. How do you justify rewarding undesirable behaviour with treats? Its a cop out.

No, the treat is only forthcoming if they climb nicely into their car seat!

It’s a nightmare trying to get an unwilling young child into their car seat. There are some good suggestions on here, but I’d definitely speak to the parents about this. What strategies do they use to get their child into the seat, or is he playing up because it’s someone different?
Speak to the parents and work out strategies with them.

We had a reluctant car seat user, they started at around 2 years old. They also were able to undo the childproof harness.

With the permission of the parents we swopped the child seat for a booster seat (the one with a back and sides)’ had it fitted at Halfords (other retailers are available) and they assured us it was legal and safe.

The toddler loved their new seat, it had cup holders and a secret compartment for small toys, never had a problem with them getting out of it or complaining, it might be worth trying.

Have I ever tried to get an unwilling toddler into a car? Oh boy, have I!

But I did what I recommended here. I was the adult. I was in charge and she got into her car seat and she stayed there. After a while she go fed up fighting the inevitable and stopped playing up.

nanna8

Yep- I’d use chocolate if it works. You’re not his Mum, nannas are allowed to ‘indulge’!

I can't imagine the child's parents would be thrilled about that strategy. How do you justify rewarding undesirable behaviour with treats? Its a cop out.

Lynnypie you have my sympathy. My granddaughter who is 3 went through this stage a year ago. When putting her in the seat she used to go rigid and any attempt to be firm with her resulted in hysterics.
One tip that sometimes worked was saying ‘do you want Nanny to lift you in or can you climb in yourself like a big girl’ or saying before they get into the car - as soon as you are in the seat you can choose what music we play in the car.
On occasions I have stood beside the door silent, ignoring behaviour until she calmed down. Fortunately she seems to have grown out of it recently.

My grandson went through a phase of hating the car seat and I had to take his big brother to nursery so I sympathise. Arching his back, going limp etc. I'm afraid I used bribery in the form of chocolate buttons or a couple of crisps or a biscuit to make it a more pleasant journey for both of us. It worked and was a short term issue. Do what you need to do.

Yep- I’d use chocolate if it works. You’re not his Mum, nannas are allowed to ‘indulge’!

This suggestion is only to be used as a special treat when he’s in his seat, do you have an iPad or tablet that he could watch a favourite cartoon perhaps? As I say if it’s a special treat he may be perfectly happy to get in the seat.