Passed away.

I don’t use euphemisms for death because I used to work with children and later with older teens who had intellectual difficulties.
They were all able to understand when someone had died, and learn that they wouldn’t see them again. They could be very sad, which is a perfectly normal, healthy reaction. It helped them grieve and remember good times.
When they heard that people had “passed” they expected them to return, like when the bus went past and later it would pass again. They would keep looking for the person over and over, then they’d worry about passing something in case they vanished forever. They could spend years expecting someone to return.
Referring to the dead person as having “gone to sleep” was even worse (yes, I know the religious beliefs for ‘the phrase) the child expects someone to wake up and be there for them- and as for a pet being “put to sleep” ! (Think how often we say we’ve put a baby down to sleep and how similar it sounds to a child.)

I volunteer at our local hospice and hear every
euphemism in the book although I personally say someone is dead or has died., but each to their own. The latest one is unalive/unalived - apparently this is in order not to upset people on social media. Not only not proper words but ugly as well.

Where on earth did you grow up?

In my childhood in Scotland in the 1950 and 60s it was definately not considered polite to use the words died or dead, or death.

People told you that a relative had passed away, or that the family had suffered a bereavement, or that they had lost a person.

Superstitious? Yes, probably - most people would not have admitted it, but they may well have felt that by naming death they were inviting it /him.

In exactly the same way as the devil was never spoken of, except by a euphemism.

I myself prefer to say that someone died - as after all we all have to, and we all before we get to the day of our departure experience many others' deaths.

But I have no bone to pick with those who prefer not to call a spade a spade in this connection.

If some newly bereaved person finds a euphemism comforting or easier to say, then I respect their choice of words.

Respect what ever a person feels most comfortable saying

We die in our family.
Passing is done in the car as in overtaking or on a train.
We’ve become a soft society. Perhaps using the word passing is to be gentle but it’s a finality and not returning. So ‘dead’ is the correct term.

I agree, but people are free to say what they want. I prefer the words died or dead. They are factual and nothing to be afraid of. The one that always makes me cringe inwardly is lostIt is usually said in hushed tones as in "of course we lost Mother laser year." I always want to tell them that they have been very careless à la Lady Bracknell, but, of course, restrain myself.

I tend to weigh up who is being told , older generations no bother with died . Younger ones blanch at the word maybe at a ur age we are more used to death being a factor of living. I’m ok with anything, I just have to listen carefully after the use of lost incase they are just lost not dead

I hate the word died.

This should be in Pedant's Corner! . I don't think it matters, everybody knows what "Passed Away" means so where's the problem. If people want to talk about me being dead, having passed away, kicked the bucket, popped my clogs or any other such phrase, provided I'm actually dead, deceased, or no more, I won't care!

My DH of almost 52 years passed away nearly 2 years ago and quite frankly I can't bring myself to say anything other than 'passed away'. Maybe sounds silly to many but the alternative is just too difficult, too harsh a thing to say.

I say 'died' and don't like 'passed away', but 'passed' is worse. I don't know why I feel that way as they are only words/expressions but I do. I think when talking to children it's better to be clear and say 'died'. It seems to me that 'passed' is only used for people. You don't hear someone say that their pet or a garden bird found dead has 'passed' .

maddyone

I also dislike the term passed away, even worse just passed..
I especially dislike seeing posts on Facebook where people say happy heavenly birthday to their relatives who have died. Some people even add enjoy a drink on your heavenly birthday.
I often buy flowers to mark my deceased parent’s birthdays or the dates of their deaths. I buy the flowers in remberance, not because they are enjoying their ^heavenly birthdays. ^

It's quite comforting though when you've lost someone young as I did, (and as we don't have access to her phone yet, after 16 months the police still have it! Her FB page is open as we cannot take it down) at least they remembered ... however, when someone just wishes her 'Happy birthday' it makes me wonder if they actually know she has died?

Oops! there’s a ‘happy heavenly Mother’s Day’ on my FB page. It made my sisters and I feel good to remember Mum. No adverse comments on there though.

I agree with Miss Adventure here. People should use whatever is comfortable for them.
Using different terms doesn't mean you haven't accepted it.
Sometimes in life you have to "sugar the pill " if that's what different terminology is for?

I feel it’s a more gentle way to say it …Each to their own eh?🙂

When people pass away there seems the possibility that they may return. This expression confuses children at a very confusing time. Why can't we just say died?

People should say what they are most comfortable with, but I find 'lost' peculiar, (lost where?) and 'passed' makes me think of 'passing a motion' or 'passing an exam'!

MissAdventure

People are free to use whatever is comfortable for them.

If it offends, well, tough tits!

this! If its you doing the announcing then use what you like otherwise its not your decision

People appear to be frightened of using the word death as it is so final and to some sound rather harsh, they therefore prefer to use a lot of other terms which are all horribly confusing in particular for children, but also so much misunderstand can occur from the wrong wording.
As nation we do not like to talk about death. How many of you have planned your funeral, your LPA, your will and discussed your wishes with your children. It is vitally important to speak about death as normal, it is as normal as birth is and should be celebrated as much as birth when the dead person has had a good life. We owe it to the people we leave behind to discuss our wishes and to have our paperwork in order, so they have full closure after what will hopefully have been a good death if everything is in place beforehand.

knspol

My DH of almost 52 years passed away nearly 2 years ago and quite frankly I can't bring myself to say anything other than 'passed away'. Maybe sounds silly to many but the alternative is just too difficult, too harsh a thing to say.

I am sorry for your loss, but acceptance allows you to move on. The first time you say died is the worst for sure, but these feelings are better out than in, and yes I have sadly been there several times with close family including a son.

LovelyLady

We die in our family.
Passing is done in the car as in overtaking or on a train.
We’ve become a soft society. Perhaps using the word passing is to be gentle but it’s a finality and not returning. So ‘dead’ is the correct term.

Absolutely and for everyone's sake should used as the only clear term.

DaisyL

I volunteer at our local hospice and hear every
euphemism in the book although I personally say someone is dead or has died., but each to their own. The latest one is unalive/unalived - apparently this is in order not to upset people on social media. Not only not proper words but ugly as well.

you. couldn't say it clearer than that.

Whatever people are comfortable saying. Some say “lost” which can sound slightly comical but I find myself saying that I “lost” my parents quite close together. I prefer this to saying that they died in consecutive years which seems too abrupt and matter- of- fact. Thinking about it, I also say that I “lost “ my little dog when he was 12 but that my late partner “ died” - He just “died”. Make of that what you will.

I don't know if it's just a Scottish thing but I occasionally hear from people that they, 'Buried their mother/father/partner yesterday.' The first time I heard that was almost comical as I all I could think of was the speaker with a spade.

I am so glad other people feel the same about this! I loathe the term "passed away" I think it's twee and prissy.