Passed away.

I found the mocking brutal

It’s not a one size fits all, it’s personal and whatever words are used is up to the individual.

I personally prefer died or dead.

I agree, Kalu, but there are comments about facing reality, accepting death and confusion over what you mean if you use a different terminology which make it seem unkind especially when there are people on here who have explained how they have lost their children.

M0nica

I was mocking no one. I was looking into the background to euphamisms like 'passed away' and 'passed' and wondering whether they were appropriate now.

This is something that is being done with language all the time. Remember when there was a shade of brown that no one would ever consider using these days.

Out of interest Monica, who decides whether the different terms to describe the loss of a loved one are appropriate or not to use now?
Individuals should be able to say what feels right for them without being judged by others.

I just feel that if a child kept continually laughing when it wasn't appropriate, you (meaning I would have stern words with them)

People have said they find it hurtful (and that's an understatement) that people still continue to find it amusing.
"Oh, lost your child? How careless" laughing emoji.

Surely if people choose passed away and passed it is their choice so why not appropriate ?

People have said they find it hurtful (and that's an understatement) that people still continue to find it amusing.

But people can't help finding something amusing, can they?

"Oh, lost your child? How careless" laughing emoji.
But has this been said in real life or just on a forum thread? There is a huge difference between those two scenarios.

Ooh I can feel a flounce grumbling about inside of me.
I've quite got myself in a paddy about this, and I've surprised myself...

Anniebach

Surely if people choose passed away and passed it is their choice so why not appropriate ?

Yes.

But others can disagree, as they have on this thread mostly in a straightofrward way.

Baggs

*People have said they find it hurtful (and that's an understatement) that people still continue to find it amusing.*

But people can't help finding something amusing, can they?

"Oh, lost your child? How careless" laughing emoji.
But has this been said in real life or just on a forum thread? There is a huge difference between those two scenarios.

No, they can't help it of course.
What they can help is taking the time to write it out and post it.

I don't find it any different posting on a forum, or saying it in real life.
Forums have the power to hurt, and it frequently happens, across social media.

Anniebach

Surely if people choose passed away and passed it is their choice so why not appropriate ?

Agreed Annie, it's what good for you.

MissAdventure

Baggs

People have said they find it hurtful (and that's an understatement) that people still continue to find it amusing.

But people can't help finding something amusing, can they?

"Oh, lost your child? How careless" laughing emoji.
But has this been said in real life or just on a forum thread? There is a huge difference between those two scenarios.

No, they can't help it of course.
What they can help is taking the time to write it out and post it.

But why should they?

Upthread someone was arguing for the right to express their opinion/thoughts/feelings, which I thoroughly agree with. Freedom of expression means just that – freedom.

This is a discussion thread, not a face to face situation where someone's just been told that someone has died/passed away/whatever.

Of course they may post what they like, as will I.

Baggs Wed 13-Mar-24 20:14:16
People have said they find it hurtful (and that's an understatement) that people still continue to find it amusing.

But people can't help finding something amusing, can they?

"Oh, lost your child? How careless" laughing emoji.
But has this been said in real life or just on a forum thread? There is a huge difference between those two scenarios.

People on forums are real people , I assure you, no difference if
you are grieving for your child,

"Oh, lost your child? How careless" laughing emoji.

Has this been said on this thread? I haven't read every post.

And I don't need any lessons in dealing with the death of a child. Nor will I ever weaponise it.

Perhaps best to read every post before passing judgement

It's not a competion with a prize for the most stoical.
We all carry a huge burden around with us, in our own ways.

I just would rather help the person carrying it, in any small way I could.

I definitely think it’s down to personal choice. I personally don’t like “lost”. It always makes me think you might find them down the back of the sofa! Whatever gives you the most comfort I suppose. Not that you will find comfort in such circumstances. No judgment on my part whatever people choose.

Any road up...
I'm going to read about cats now.

Sometimes a dark sense of humor is exactly how people get themselves through difficult times

To be absolutely fair on allowing people to express their own grief their own way

Excellent post, VS, covering all aspects and ways of coping as it does.

Agree, no mocking

The idea that heaven is all about playing harps is a general humerous meme about the afterlife, used as much by ministers and priests as lay people and those of no faith at all and numerous cartoonists.. There is no mockery there at all.

There has been no mockingon this thread. As Baggs has said, people on this thread have given their personal views. No one have made any comments about the people using the euphamisms, just about the euphamisms themselves.

Not true ‘lost your child , how careless ‘ is mocking all who feel the loss /death of their child’

Speaking of heavenly harps is mocking, you say no, I say yes, it was cruel