Do I deserve this treatment.

MillueMay the "whole story" doesnt really change the view that the important things happened and in fact if not often invited, then surely its positive that she was!

Not sure what is so hateful about the site!

SueBdoo70

I must confess Jolly Sailor, I felt very down yesterday. I have 3 AC and didn’t receive any cards or flowers. I do a lot for them, including paying for a family holiday each year, which we go on this coming weekend. So I suppose I was feeling unappreciated and ‘ owed ‘ at least a card ! Having read all the replies to your post, I would agree that you are being unreasonable. An invitation to one of their homes for soup, cake and coffee would have made my day. However, the replies have also made me think that the occasion is perhaps over-hyped for commercial reasons. One of my son’s birthday is in March and when he was younger I used to joke that if he forgot Mothers Day, I would forget his birthday ! It always worked then ! Another thing I used to say was that I would love flowers while I’m alive not at my funeral ! Not necessarily or only on Mothers Day of course. It hasn’t happened. But, I will stop feeling sorry for myself now and look forward to seeing all my lovely grandchildren at the weekend. 😁

Sending you some flowers, SueBdoo70. 💐

I have had Mother's Days like yours many times over the years, and know that it hurts even if, like me, you genuinely believe in your heart of hearts that it is a stupid, commercial, over-hyped day.

I almost feel that it is a day that should be banned because of the sadness that it causes so many people.

Maggiemaybe

Well it wasn’t “afternoon tea” by any stretch, Jollysailor - and I think most of us would have expected more from the wording of the invitation - but you said you were made welcome, and that’s what matters. The thought was obviously there. It was nice of you to turn up with gifts yourself, btw, and I’m sure these were appreciated.

If you’re new to GN, welcome. It should be a safe space to discuss things, and I hope you aren’t put off by the meaner comments on here. You didn’t show your disappointment at the time, thanked them for having you, and only told your other daughter about the day when asked. I’m pretty sure you will be asked again.

This comment by maggiemaybe hits exactly the right note to me, as reading this thread there are some real mean posts.
Afternoon tea implies dainty sandwiches, scones and cake with as many cuppas as you want.It may well be that JollySailors DD thinks it could be soup followed by coffee and a cake, who knows?
Don’t sweat it tho JollySailor it was a disappointment but at least they wanted you to come and visit.

Grammaretto

I should have made a simnel cake but I thought that was for Easter with the 11 apostles in marzipan around the top.

I'd have to eat all the marzipan as no-one else likes it!

Chocolatelovinggran

Simnel cake is for Easter, Callistemon. I won't eat it. I don't like marzipan.

Yes, it has become an Easter tradition now but it was originally made for Mothering Sunday.

Simnel is mostly eaten in the UK and countries with Christian populations descended from British and Irish immigrants. It was originally associated with feast days in Lent, including the fourth Sunday (known as Laetare Sunday), which also coincides with Mothering Sunday.

Today we regard Mother’s Day as a celebration of mums – but in Tudor times, it was a rare day off for servants, who used their free time to take cakes and flowers as gifts to their ‘mother’ churches.

Food historian Pen Vogler, author of Scoff: A History of Food and Class in Britain (£9.99, Atlantic Books), says simnel cake would have been made for the occasion, as it was a welcome respite from fasting. She notes that poet Robert Herrick wrote in 1648, "I’ll to thee a simnel bring, Gainst though go’st a mothering."

Germanshepherdsmum

Oh, I thought you were ill, rather than with your in laws? That was what your mother said …

Quite..hmmm

Good pick up GSM. If your mum's "never" invited to your sister's home, I'd have thought she'd have just been pleased to have been invited yesterday MillieMay .

Oh, I thought you were ill, rather than with your in laws? That was what your mother said …

So sorry littleannie 💐 .

I am the other daughter who asked my mum what she had to eat at my sister's home.

My mum has received some terrible comments because you do not know the full story. A long time ago, my sister and her husband got themselves into a pile of debt which nearly ended up in bankruptcy for them. My dad had died quite a few years ago and my mum used most of his golden handshake (and it was a golden handshake) to clear all their debts ensuring that I also was given the same amount of money. They always made us both the same. All my mum has now is her pension to live on. She never gets invited to their home, never gets taken out anywhere but is always there when they need a child minder.

They now live in a 5 bedroom detached property with two flash cars on the drive and if I had not been spending Mother's day with my husbands mum and dad then we would have taken mum out for afternoon tea, a proper afternoon tea. This is why she was upset. She did not tell me what they had given her to eat, I asked her what she had eaten and did she enjoy herself.

Now I have said my peave I am unregitering from this hateful site.

I should have made a simnel cake but I thought that was for Easter with the 11 apostles in marzipan around the top.

Germanshepherdsmum

The OP reminded me of Hyacinth Bucket - I can see her now …

I was invited to DS1 for lunch yesterday. It was homemade tomato soup with toast and cheese. I had brought some rather nice cheese. My son opened a bottle of wine and we toasted all the mums.
I left mid afternoon. I was really happy to be invited at all.
My other DC sent texts or cards.
It was the first year wthout DMiL so poignant for us.

Blunt and to the point, relishing nothing.

Wow! Don’t think anyone here was “relishing” anything, just speaking plainly and bluntly and to the point!

Ah yes, the Hyacinth Bouquet comments were definitely that, weren’t they?

Beyond hilarious, apparently.

Simnel cake is for Easter, Callistemon. I won't eat it. I don't like marzipan.

I’m sure nobody relishes that she’ll be alone next year Maggiemaybe, but it seems likely, especially if the other daughter starts wading in.

Maggiemaybe

^I think the OP has disappeared though 🤔^

There’s a surprise. And I’m sure she’s not been at all upset, as a new poster, by the welcome she received on here from a handful of posters. Some seem very invested, with three or four posts mocking and sneering at this person they’ve never met.

Not many on here agree with the OP’s point of view, but there are some helpful and supportive posts explaining why. And some downright mean ones. Those of you who seem to relish the thought that the OP might be alone next Mother’s Day - is that the sort of thing you’d say to an upset person in real life? The OP is a real person, you know, with feelings.

I wonder if you speak to people like that in real life?

Wow! Don’t think anyone here was “relishing” anything, just speaking plainly and bluntly and to the point!

Is it unreasonable to complain about your refreshments when welcomed to your daughters house then add insult to injury by moaning to the other daughter? Yes!

I think the OP has disappeared though 🤔

There’s a surprise. And I’m sure she’s not been at all upset, as a new poster, by the welcome she received on here from a handful of posters. Some seem very invested, with three or four posts mocking and sneering at this person they’ve never met.

Not many on here agree with the OP’s point of view, but there are some helpful and supportive posts explaining why. And some downright mean ones. Those of you who seem to relish the thought that the OP might be alone next Mother’s Day - is that the sort of thing you’d say to an upset person in real life? The OP is a real person, you know, with feelings.

I wonder if you speak to people like that in real life?

Ali23

It’s a tricky one. On the one hand lots of people’s expectations are high and I can see that you were disappointed. On the other hand I have memories of going to a church service on ‘Mothering Sunday’ and coming home with a foil-wrapped bunch of daffodils for my mum. This was all that she got, and she loved it as far as I know.

Personally, good company, soup and a cake seems lovely to me. Basically only the sandwiches were missing. But I don’t criticise you for your expectations. Late 20th and early 21st century marketing has created them in my opinion, just as they’ve altered expectations for Xmas and Easter .

Late 20th and early 21st century marketing has created them in my opinion, just as they’ve altered expectations for Xmas and Easter.

Yes, this 👍

Mothering Sunday used to be a tradition when girls (and boys) went home to their mother church and to their own mothers to be looked after and "mothered" for a day.

How many of us ate Simnel cake yesterday?

I'll hazard a guess, not many,

Germanshepherdsmum

The OP reminded me of Hyacinth Bucket - I can see her now …

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Mrs Bouquet please!

The OP reminded me of Hyacinth Bucket - I can see her now …

Hello JollySailor I am sorry that you did not get the Afternoon Tea that you thought would be on offer. As others have said it is all about expectations but I am glad that you got to spend Mothers Day with your Daughter.

Wow.

I’d rather drink tea in the afternoon than coffee, but I’d be delighted with soup OR sandwiches, followed by a slice of cake. You’re seriously making a fuss because it wasn’t cream cake? Are you always so hard to please?

Just be glad that you have adult children who are willing and able to offer you anything. Not all mothers are so lucky.

Littleannie

I think you should count your blessings. Last Mother's Day I had a text from my son which said "Why don't you die Mother? The sooner you're dead the better as nobody will miss you". Soup and a cup of tea would be lovely for me.

Again, reading this is shocking and sad! I’m so sorry for you