How sociable are you?

I hate socialising. I live alone, I don’t have anybody in my house except my adult offspring and only then when they need me to look after their children or pets. I don’t attend social events. I walk a dog for a lady in the village and we chat briefly at her door, but that’s more than enough “peopling”.

When I was married my husband loved dinner or drinks parties, and having family round for Sunday lunch, and we had to attend lots of corporate events and trips away. I hated every minute and when he said he was moving out, one of my first thoughts was that I’d never have to host again as long as I lived! And I haven’t.

Having lost my DH 15mths ago I am having to work hard to establish a single persons social life in an effort to stave off depression/dementia, and it exhausting! I am an only child so am used to time alone and I need it to recharge after socialising. I don’t have a lot of close friends, DH was my best friend and I miss the ease of being with someone who knows you better than you know yourself. We used to love having people for dinner, but I do find myself anxious about cooking for people now.

My nephew and I both admit that we enjoyed the lockdown. Far less chance of some whinging neighbour turning up or someone wanting a favour. The ring doorbell filters out undesirables like sales people and chuggers. If youve not got an appontment and your not holding a package you can go forth and multiply.

Not at all sociable nowadays I'm afraid. DH had to be sociable for business but once retired we both preferred our own company and have also moved around a lot from one country to another and also within the UK. Retired to the outskirts of a small village and being a shy person have only a few local acquaintances but no friends as such so it's a lonely old life but I know it could be a lot worse.

I have just been away for three nights with 4 friends all women! I struggled with the constant chat , competitive talk, not being heard or listened to so this is my final time for this trip ! It was exhausting !!
I have been honest with myself that I cannot do big groups anymore, don’t entertain as I once did and like one to one or 4 is maximum! I realise I have been struggling for years and it is liberating to acknowledge my issues plus saying “No” is powerful !
My partner is not sociable ! I am in choir , WI, book groups etc but I can always go home to peace! Having been diagnosed with Mernieres recently doesn’t help but it is not going to define me! So I am friendly but only in very small groups

NanKate

I’m sociable and go out 2 or 3 times a week. DH is happy at home or with the family.

DH and I have coffee out once a week.

Lockdown was my idea of Hell 😏

It was my idea of heaven...

I’m sociable and go out 2 or 3 times a week. DH is happy at home or with the family.

DH and I have coffee out once a week.

Lockdown was my idea of Hell 😏

Everything has changed since the pandemic. We downsized during a lockdown (December 2020) and no longer have the big dining room and table we had in the old house. Apart from family, I think we've had only one dinner party in the last three years. Though we have had friends to come and stay during the gaps between lockdowns. I'm quite sociable, but tend to meet friends out of the home - book club, walking group, coffee dates. Will have to ponder.

We have no friends, just a few acquaintances, people that play and sing the same music as us.

In my experience friends are people who eventually let you down. I never want to be in that situation again.

We have family, and they visit and sometimes stay. Enough for us.

We meet own own friends outside of home .....I have friends over for coffee on a one on one....never ever have social gatherings at home apart from family....would never ever consider having a group of friends together in my home

Love socialising & having guests to stay whether relatives or friends. (Only 2 nights though for overnight guests). After that the non stop chat & entertaining is exhausting.
Dinner parties every couple of months- here or at others. Many different sets of friends - some from uni days, work colleagues, local friends. Mainly we all take a course for dinner parties - makes it fun and spreads the workload.
We like entertaining at home / or being entertained at friend’s homes - much more than going out. However we do go out for pub lunches every few weeks and occasional ‘fine dining’ for a treat, or as part of a hotel night away. We meet up with some friends just for dog walks/ coffee/tea. Some we go to events with - theatre/ concerts/quizzes/pub. Some on holiday with.
Just joining a new gardening club, and also thinking about joining a social club near us ….. variety is the spice of life I think. As long as you are energetic and well enough to enjoy. Have been retired 15 years and grateful for the freedom to choose. Gives you lots to think about and chat about if you mix- not all activities cost a lot. Also, if you issue a few invites you usually get some back!

I'm sociable, but I do need to recharge my batteries more these days. I've been out every day/evening this week, and will be out tonight (a meeting) then lunch on Friday with a friend, and out again tomorrow evening (a social event at a friend's house) and on Saturday (coffee with a different group of friends). I've already had 2 Zooms, a social thing here, a friend for coffee and my knitting group this week. That's more than usual, but not outrageously so.

Mr Dog hasn't/won't be involved in any of this week's events, but we were out together twice last week, and we are going away next week for a few days as it's our daughter's birthday.
I am more sociable than he is. He goes to the pub maybe once a week to catch up with his friends, but otherwise relies on me to make plans and include him.

I would like to socialize a bit more, but DH is resistant. The thing is, he is a fantastic host and always has fun. I think it is because he is a bit of perfectionist and always needs lead time notice, where I am more impetuous and will do last minute invites.

We tend to have 'drop over after work' type of visits more than organized dinners. We will always have your favourite type of beer/wine/cider/tea ready if you drop over! My DH remembers everyone's favourite drink and always has some ready, even room temperature beer for his Brit friend.

I still have a number of friends since our DC were small . We used to have great meals - each couple provided a course so it wasn’t a big deal. Often ended up playing games afterwards especially when the children were young teenagers. Sadly 3 out of the 4 couples have lost their OH including me. Nowadays we go out for lunch or a carvery evening, or have coffee at home .I’m lucky to have such good friends. We often go on outings and to the cinema so am still quite sociable
I still have family to stay often though. Brother is coming next week for a couple of days and DD and family for Easter. DS and family live near me and we regularly have a meal at home together. I enjoy having DD and family to stay but constant meals and snacks are exhausting! I find I am happy when I’m on my own again , until I haven’t seen them for a while and then miss them and wish they were here!

fancy that - with friends like that, who needs enemies 😂
I think I am quite sociable or rather I was quite sociable. Pre-divorce, and pre-downsizing, we had regular dinner parties for 30 or more. Now, it’s just coffee for a few neighbours although I am planning a small ‘buffet’ evening in the next few weeks. I am on my own, so was wondering whether I invite the husbands as well or just the ladies 🤔

I have two very close friends, sadly my third close friend died just before Christmas. My local close friend I see reasonably regularly and we spend the day together. My other very close friend lives 240 miles away, but we’ve been best friends since school days and she is like a sister to me. I see her when we go up north to visit family, and sometimes she’s spends two or three days here. Otherwise we talk on the phone regularly, often chatting for two hours at a time.
Our weekends are now always busy with family. We often cater for them on Sundays, we do the lunch, or sometimes we go to theirs. We also go out for meals with them sometimes at weekend. We also spend several weeks each year visiting our daughter and grandchildren in New Zealand, and we socialise a lot when we’re there as well as look after the children. We have lots of meals out, day trips out , and barbecues at her house. All with her and the children.

Not as sociable as I think I am.
Someone said to me last week, that she was more sociable than I am.
I started to feel a bit affronted, and then I thought, well actually, she is so right.

grannyactivist you are are marvel I'm not sure I would want to do that here not having an art room to flee too. I am quite sociable, I play golf so its part of the deal really. We survived the quiz night on ok. I prefer going to a restaurant than dinner parties then everyone can choose their own poison.

My last partner loved parties so we had quite a few but since being on my own ( 25 + years) I haven’t had one or been invited to any either I don’t think any of my friends do parties any more either but we do go out daytimes

I enjoy family get togethers and doing buffet tea for us all but that's about it really.
I've never been a party goer although when I was young free and single I would be out around town in a pub or down friends homes every evening.
These days watching Emmerdale and Corrie seems to be the highlight of my life.

Like many of you we loved to entertain when we were younger but find it to much hassle now. We are still sociable people but prefer to meet up with friends at a local pub or restaurant. We very rarely if ever have people to stay over these days. Just have not got the energy anymore to be the perfect host and hostess.

We have never been big entertainers. Often used to do a meal on NYE for about 8 neighbours and we all enjoyed those. Now we have just one elderly man who lives alone and he comes for a meal about once a fortnight.

I have lots of friends I share interests with so I have friends who are always up for a walk, those who knit, those I meet for coffee or lunch and a few very close friends I started grammar school with ….. so really long standing friendships.

Husband is never bothered about going out but he does if I ask him.

We used to regularity go 5 Mile walks with friends, then all return here to eat. We’d happily feed 12 or more, plus teenagers and various dogs.
Lockdown changed things and as we were getting our mojo back, my husband suddenly became very ill.
Since he died, I’ve cooked an occasional big family meal but tend to take friends out for lunch when they visit. I don’t seem to enjiy, or want to entertain groups of friends without him

I’ve been interested to read the replies. It seems that for a variety of reasons many of us have a more limited social life as we get older.

We have always welcomed people into our home, catering for ones and two’s, to one memorable event where we had 60+ people queuing at various doors in the house to collect their food. We still have a houseful of teenagers for a couple of months in the summer as we provide accommodation for the local language school students, but I’ve had several episodes of amnesia in the last two years and I’ve become much less inclined to entertain at home.

We still have a comparatively active social life, but it’s very different from two years ago. Our children and grandchildren visit often and some of them will stay over maybe once or twice a month - they’re easily catered for and often arrive with food they’ve prepared, or will help out in the kitchen; that’s really stress free and very enjoyable, but otherwise I’ve cut back a little on dinner invitations and having guests to stay. We go to the cinema often, eat out a déux or with friends and we prepare a weekly meal for my parents-in-law.

I’m not madly sociable. I have maybe a dozen close friends who are geographically scattered; I see those who live closer every month or so for lunch, or an evening out, those who live in the US every year or two, usually for a few days travelling, and those who live somewhere else in the UK or Europe a couple or three times a year for a day or two. I have a few less close but local friends who I see once or twice a week for an activity and some socialising.

Most entertaining I do these days is informal, and in small numbers, and three times a year, I host 20 or 30 people for specific occasions.