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How sociable are you?

(108 Posts)
grannyactivist Thu 14-Mar-24 01:23:38

This evening six of my husband’s friends came round for home brewed beer and (takeaway) pizza, then they watched a documentary film that they had been discussing (about Navalny). I spent a lovely evening in my art room.

My husband sorted drinks, made the dessert and salad, queued up the film - and my only contribution, apart from a quick meet and greet, was to pop out to pick up their pizzas. When the guys were leaving they all thanked me and commented that their own wives would have had very negative responses had they suggested such an evening.

Their comments have got me thinking. Even when we had smaller homes we always entertained a lot and my husband has always supported me in this, but as we’ve got older he’s really become much more sociable on his own behalf. (He meets up with different groups of friends several times in a month, for coffee, meals, a cycle ride, discussions etc.)

So it’s got me wondering - how much entertaining do others on here do? Are you more, or less, sociable than previously?

AGAA4 Thu 14-Mar-24 11:47:34

Since I've downsized I don't have many people to stay. I mostly meet people for coffee or lunch. Much easier.
I feel lucky as I love seeing people but am quite happy on my own. So maybe not very sociable.

Athrawes Thu 14-Mar-24 11:30:16

I too enjoy the occasional get togethers but it's generally meet ups with girl friends. DH has his own friends he goes out with occasionally. We each know each others friends so its fun hearing the male side of his outing and I share my outings from the female side. Not a lot of difference really!!!

Oreo Thu 14-Mar-24 11:25:32

I still enjoy social meetings, maybe slightly less so than years ago tho.
Work and commitments knock out much of it.We have longstanding friends and visit each others homes for coffee and cake more than meals out.
DP more sociable than me really.

flappergirl Thu 14-Mar-24 11:23:26

I'm still working full time in hospitality which is often long, anti social hours and quite frankly knackering. I honestly don't have time to socialise but I meet so many people in my job and get to organise parties/events, so I suppose that fills a gap.

I was always a very social animal but if I did have the time, I really don't think I would have the inclination now, especially on cold dark winter's nights. Being a widow also puts a different spin on it. You no longer have that "ready made" friend and coming home to an empty house is a bit demoralising. I'm sure other widows will know what I mean.

biglouis Thu 14-Mar-24 11:12:05

I used to entertain a lot when I was in my 20s and 30s - dinner parties and such. Now I avoid people like the plague unless I know them very well. I just cant be bothered with people under my feet unless they come for some defined purpose.

Thats why I have a ring type doorbell. If I dont like the look of who is on the doorstep I can always pretend to be out or answer "on the app" so not at home.

Calendargirl Thu 14-Mar-24 11:05:06

I think DH and I are quite unsociable.

No desire to go out at night, or have people in for meals.

Having said that, we both have our own interests in the daytime, but prefer to be at home, on our own, in the evenings.

Norah Thu 14-Mar-24 11:02:34

We're sociable with family. Fulfill my husband's social work requirements without complaint. However, no excess - same as prior.

We have our daughters and theirs round often, GC and GGC over many times a week. Have garden parties and Holiday meals. That's it, really.

Pantglas2 Thu 14-Mar-24 11:00:17

I am sociable and generally organise outings etc with different groups of friends but don’t like to be too busy day in, day out. I need two days nesting at home (and at mi Casa in Spain) for every gadabout as I get older 🤔

Mr PG has never really sorted his own social life other than the odd beer or two with his brother occasionally and that seems to have petered out latterly.

As for people stopping over, two nights is pretty much my limit in Wales but a week would be ok in Spain- probably due to the better weather there and being in a town with plenty to do. I always feel as if I have to entertain folks in Wales but leave them to their own devices in Spain!

MissInterpreted Thu 14-Mar-24 10:54:26

I'm not particularly sociable either. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy enough to chat to people I meet, but I can count on one hand the number of close friends I have. OH and I have never entertained (apart from our immediate close family) and I've never held a house party or dinner party or been to one.

henetha Thu 14-Mar-24 10:35:45

I'm glad I'm not the only thoroughly unsociable person, Juliet. smile
Welcome to the club, except that I hate clubs!

Juliet27 Thu 14-Mar-24 10:30:15

I prefer one on one friendships, and really seem to need lots of time alone now
Me too henetha

Cossy Thu 14-Mar-24 10:28:57

We socialise, but mainly with family, and two sets of close friends. I’ve never enjoyed parties and never been one to join in big groups of girls in girls nights out.

henetha Thu 14-Mar-24 10:23:30

I'm not sociable at all these days. Never was much, and it's got
worse in recent years. Since my little gang of friends broke up with covid we have never got together again. I prefer one on one friendships, and really seem to need lots of time alone now.

Jaxjacky Thu 14-Mar-24 10:12:19

Gone are the days of firework parties for 30 odd people or similar sized bbq’s, late nights and poorly heads.
We still have friends round in ones or two’s, my brother and his wife and summer bbq’s for family with a couple of friends as well. So we’re pretty sociable.

Juliet27 Thu 14-Mar-24 09:13:09

That’s so sad Findingnemo. 💐

FindingNemo15 Thu 14-Mar-24 09:03:11

As we have got older we have drifted from various friends so do not see anyone. We do not have any relatives either except an estranged DD.

My DH is now in a care home and I cannot remember the last time I had a visitor or invitation out. Life can be very lonely and depressing.

Sago Thu 14-Mar-24 08:33:47

Lots of socialising, last month we had 3 weekends at our holiday let with guests staying, I cook dinner on night one and we eat out on night two.
When home we eat out and entertain regularly, we have a group of friends with whom we take it in turns to have dinner/supper parties.

Juliet27 Thu 14-Mar-24 08:19:17

^Better to meet up at cafes or restaurants or
just go for a walk^
👍

M0nica Thu 14-Mar-24 08:18:09

Most of my friendships and socialising is done through the groups I join. The same with DH.

However, i am more than happy to entertain people at home. DC do not live near us, but DS and family come and stay for a week every school/unversity holiday and DD visits, on average, every month usually for a day - and we visit her. We do not hsve many close friends living locally now, but we have several friends who visit us and stay over and who we visit.

I am as happy entertaining as I ever was.

Gingster Thu 14-Mar-24 08:15:08

Yes gone are the days of dinner evenings . We used to prepare all day , cooking and making the table /house look good. Hard work but we were young and enjoyed it.

My Dh is not sociable AT ALL, so I do a lot on my own and with friends. Joining the U3A, you could be doing something all day and every day. I have to rein myself in.

We still host family and friends at our seaside cottage as they love to come but they need to stay over and that’s becoming hard work. Family help out but we feel we have to entertain friends.

Better to meet up at cafes or restaurants or
just go for a walk.

Marydoll Thu 14-Mar-24 08:02:31

We used to entertain a lot, when we were younger. It was mainly because we lived on the coast and the idea of a weekend at the seaside appealed to people.
My husband his brothers and mine played golf, while I fed and entertained the sisters in law and their children.
They never as much as brought a cake and since we were on a tight budget (15% mortgage rate), I got thoroughly fed up with it.

There were always lots of girls night, which I enjoyed. We always made it simple and took turns. After two of my friends died, quite young, it was never the same.

Nowadays, I am not well enough to entertain, due to my failing health. DH isn't sociable, so it isn't a big deal.

downtoearth Thu 14-Mar-24 07:47:42

I am a very sociable,described by friends as gregarious and outgoing.
I used to love having friends and family to stay,but since being on my own and downsizing,lockdown it has ground to a halt.
Just spent a very lively weekend away with my oldest friend at a 70s ( music, not age ,although lots of us where ) weekend,it has taken me 3 days to recover and recharge my social battery.

grace56580 Thu 14-Mar-24 07:47:04

When we lived in very rural France we used to have friends round for meals to eat out was really hit and miss our local Bistro would just lock the door if they felt like it ! and off course the distance you would have to travel. TBH I got fed up of it in the end it seemed I always put more effort in than others (my fault couldn't help myself) along with the cost of food France is really expensive dont get taken in by all those cheap markets you see in the likes of 'A place in the sun' We now live in a smaller house not really set up for entertaining the plan was we'd go out and eat that's not happened too expensive !

Joseann Thu 14-Mar-24 07:40:22

In our working lives we had to be hugely so. I don't regret it, but sometimes it was tiresome. It sort of took over our private lives.
Now I'm so happy to be the real me, which is actually quite quiet and content with my own company. I join groups that have a purpose, I have friends, but it no longer involves the entertaining of old. For me, some of that was false socialising.

Grammaretto Thu 14-Mar-24 07:26:06

Since being widowed I hardly ever get invitations but it may be that people are older and have no energy.

I have a couple of parties a year (birthday and Christmas) and see friends most days out in mixed groups or for a bowl of soup at our local arts and community cafés.

I am hosting Canadian volunteers for a few weeks and tomorrow an old friend will join us for dinner.

I am quite sociable still but my lifestyle has changed as I have got older.

One of my DS has turned his garage into a games room with pool table, large TV and drinks cabinet. He hosts a regular social night. I don't know how his DW likes it or whether she joins in as I have not been invited grin