Driving anxiety

I had a similar, but different problem years ago. I passed my driving test at age 17 but then found I was too anxious to drive, so didn't for decades. When my daughter learned to drive, she suggested I had lessons too, which I did.

I had 6 refresher lessons, having explained to the instructor that I was terrified to even sit in the driver's seat. He was brilliant, very patient and talked me through all of my fears.

Bottom line, although I still do not like driving where I am completely unfamiliar with the roads, I have now been driving for nearly 20 years and hate the thought of losing my independence.

It might be worth trying a lesson or two to make sure you are safe to drive, before giving up then regretting it later.

I have to drive for work - I’m a Community Nurse.
But I really don’t like driving.
There’s no pleasure.
I will drive on the motorway - but don’t like it.
Husband or son love the motorway - that’s fine by me.
I’d far rather be driven 😊

Casdon

I don’t mean to sound harsh, or offend anybody, but I think there are only two choices if you are anxious about driving, you either do it more, push your boundaries and go to places you don’t normally until you feel confident again, or you stop driving altogether. It’s not safe for you or other road users to drive if you aren’t 100% focussed on driving, and lack of driving or sticking to the same routes is dangerous because you lose your skills. If you feel so anxious Jaffacake2, now is the time to stop in my opinion.

I was going to say the same but there are easier cars to drive (automatic) or also you could book some refresher lessons with an instructor and practice normal routes with them to build confidence before giving up altogether

I think also it’s an age thing, I think people loose confidence- quite rightly so, that there are a lot of dick- heads on the roads! I am more comfortable & confident when my DH isn’t in the car, he makes me so nervous 😩 also I drive an automatic which in my opinion is much easier on the brain not having to think about gears🤣

This is very appropriate to myself.

At 1 time i never batted an eyelid of going anywhere, fast forward to the menopause ( thats what Im blaming it on ) because I was asked if I could pick someone up from the airport today, as I say, at 1 time noooooo problem whatsoever, BUT as the words left the persons mouth ( can I pick them up ) i was nervous at this request! WHY? WHAT'S GOING ON ? I ask myself, I can only blame it on the menopause weird to say the least. So the solution to my odd problem is that i have roped someone else in and i will go with them and pay petrol and parking.

Weird !!!

I think many posters are missing the point

Numbness in right foot

I might miss the brake pedal

Don’t drive!

Goodness yes don't drive until your foot is back to normal.
Then have a couple of refresher lessons.

Now in my 70s I am a reluctant driver. I need to buy a newer car, but currently only drive very locally so will leave it a while.

I used to be very confident, but at 75 am less so. Am hating all the potholes.

If and when I buy a newer smaller car I will have some refresher lessons.
Be comforted that you are not unusual, but can do something about it if you want to continue driving.

Serendipity22

This is very appropriate to myself.

At 1 time i never batted an eyelid of going anywhere, fast forward to the menopause ( thats what Im blaming it on ) because I was asked if I could pick someone up from the airport today, as I say, at 1 time noooooo problem whatsoever, BUT as the words left the persons mouth ( can I pick them up ) i was nervous at this request! WHY? WHAT'S GOING ON ? I ask myself, I can only blame it on the menopause weird to say the least. So the solution to my odd problem is that i have roped someone else in and i will go with them and pay petrol and parking.

Weird !!!

Menopause is truly awful for some women - thank goodness it's now a subject that increasing numbers of women feel more able to discuss with others going through it 'online' and remain anonymous in a closed environment.

Losing confidence in driving affects so many women during menopause yet others aren't affected at all.

There's a long list of symptoms under the menopause 'umbrella' and it's a lottery which ones each woman can experience from 1 or 2 to around 40 🤦‍♀️

I’m sorry OP but if you have numbness in your right foot , don’t drive.
Recently I was in a car park and a car shot across the car park hitting 2 cars and thankfully no people . The female driver had hit the accelerator instead of the brake . She had an automatic car .
Equally if you’re nervous and apprehensive, you shouldn’t be driving.
Driving today you need to be decisive and have good reactions as there are so many idiots on the road .

Regarding refresher lessons.

Round here, 17 year olds struggle to find a driving instructor, they are booked up and can afford to be choosy how often they work.

Not easy getting one as my GS can attest to.

Obviously get your foot sorted!
If you are then deemed safe to drive maybe you could.do what helped mea lot when I lost confidence.
I think a lot of.my problems came.down to stress, which was not caused by driving but other things
I had a couple of hours lesson on motorway driving from someone who was in experienced with nervous drivers. Now at the time I was actually on beta blockers and they took the edge off the panic. But it wasn't just that, it was having someone next to me encouraging me and helping my me doing the things that made me so nervous, actually getting into the motorway
I did have a relapse after a couple.of years, but have pulled myself back and am getting more confident. If I can avoid big dual carriageway with complicated junctions, I'll do so, there is no shame in doing that
Since I have been put on meds for high BP I am more relaxed, maybe the nervousness and panic were actually caused by the high BP
But do have a go with a lesson or so, before you decide to give up. If anyone is happy driving locally on familiar roads, and they don't want to go further, again, that's absolutely fine. Most of my car journeys nowadays are local, it makes such a difference being able to drive locally, a quarter hour drive to my daughters costs £16 at least in a taxi, even with the cost of petrol, it makes it more affordable. If I'm going a long distance, I usually use.public transport, I don't have the cost of the fuel etc, I can relax for 4 hours, or however long, read, knit, go for.a wee, enjoy the view, chat to fellow passengers if they are feeling sociable.

You need to get that numbness sorted. If it was your left foot, it wouldn’t have mattered. You could get an automatic.
My advice is not to give up altogether. Keep driving !

I used to enjoy driving but avoid it when possible now, not because of anxiety about driving itself but parking. Supermarkets are fine but if you're going somewhere without adequate car parking you can circle streets for ages before finding anywhere to stop. And then you have to do battle with paying for it, always assuming that you can find out how to do it.

I completely understand driving anxiety. I haven't driven on motorways for many years and now only drive very locally after the pandemic and two hip replacements. I do like the freedom that driving, even just locally, gives me. If I relied on our local buses I probably wouldn't go anywhere!

Cc, I also find not being able to park a big problem in many places.

Our DS and DiL live in central London where the roads are baffling and the traffic unforgiving. Almost anywhere else, I can cope with in the car (not Paris or Rome). But now that it's just me, it's hardly any more expensive to visit them by train, so much more relaxing.

I never learned to drive due to having anxiety attacks as soon as I got behind the wheel! I would not have been safe on the roads.

Driving requires you to do several things at once and Ive never been good at doing that. So does using a computer but I never heard of anyone being charged with careless computing!

I am getting more anxious as I get older about driving. No idea why as I have never had a crash. I have never enjoyed driving but living in the middle of the countryside it’s a necessary evil. No buses in our village. I did wonder if I should take an advanced driver class or whether it would make me even more nervous! We intend to stay here at least another ten years so I need to face this. My husband mostly drives and I let him out of sheer laziness!

I drive locally but don’t really love it. My husband is a real petrol head- has motorbikes and loves fast sports cars.We have recently bought a big SUV which he keeps urging me to drive.I have driven it a few times I feel as if I am on my driving test as he sits in the passenger seat with his arms folded.Ilovemylittle Mini Cooperwhich is more my size..We got the SUV to transport family and grandchildren about. I must bite the billet on my ownand drive it soon. I mean bullet.

most folk i know over 60ish do not like driving,i don't.

I live in a village ten miles from a supermarket and up to 25 miles from my hobby venues (karate) so I drive everywhere. Public transport is not a viable alternative to driving, for me.

Just to add, I'm 72...

Like others I only drive locally now. Roads are in an awful state and drivers seem to be losing patience if one is driving according to speed limits. I tend to use back roads if I can but I no longer enjoy driving - for me it's just a means of getting to where I want to go.

There comes a point, Jaffacake when we may question our driving. It could be temporary. What about taking a week or two off and then thinking about it again. I love the idea of my bus pass.....and the freedom of not driving. However, I am still able to get out and about with the car, so it hasn't come to me yet. However, don't let it be an accident that decides for you. Just have a little break now and reconsider in a week or two. The car will still be there.

Would it be worth having a few driving lessons to increase your confidence ?