Sentimental items- can you bring yourself to get rid of them?

You have to be cruel and separate your emotional sentiments when getting rid of clutter.

My rule of thumb is - if you have not laid hands on it and used something in over two years (some say three, some say one) you should donate if it’s in good condition.

Personal items by your children, grandchildren are useless to others. You should part. (Don’t even give them the chance by asking if they want it!) Things like pictures, diplomas, etc you HAVE to keep. Art work? To the landfill.

Of course I have some of these keepsakes as well! My "system" is to really start using them. I have two mini-ovendishes, given to me by my sister instead of flowers, you know, for the host. It was when she visited for the last time, she already was terminal and died less than two months later. It's been 8 years 1 month and 10 days. Now I started using those dishes, they are becoming part of my kitchen, my routine, my life. They are still very precious to me but my sister would laugh in my face if she knew I was treating them as if they were spun gold. I think when they brake I will be able to throw them out, but not too soon please 😊.

A few things have gone to charity shops .
The rest I have wrapped up carefully and put in clear plastic boxes .
Somewhere at the bottom of the pile is my late mother in law's collection of Lladro .
I hate it so I plan to get rid of it .
She gave me other things from which I'd never part .
Otherwise , I'm really sentimental over so many things and find it hard to part with them .

Amalegra

I have reluctantly accepted that there are some things that have so much sentimental value to me that I can never let them go. One is a rather tatty green wooden handled bread knife which was my mother’s. I particularly remember her using it to cut up oranges for my sister and I. It lives in my kitchen drawer and I use it sometimes just to remember her hand being on it. There are a fair number of other things I can’t let go and I have dedicated storage for them as I don’t intend to try letting them go any more!

I can really relate to that! When clearing my mother’s house I kept a wooden spoon she’d had for ever - it was worn right down on one side.
I warned dh never to put it in the dishwasher, but of course the bugger forgot one day and did, and bits fell of it. I’ve still got it, though.

Aldom

Put some grit in the bottom of the mug, top up with compost and add a small plant.

That’s a lovely idea and I’d keep the plate with GC handprint❤️

I do find it rather hard to get rid of ‘stuff’ & seem to have spent the past 7 years trying to do so. I am becoming less sentimental as time passes . DD2 was here from Oz recently for my op and we went through loads of jewellery and family bits allocating it to various GC. I have DH’s one eared, one eyed teddy from 1942 as well as my own from the 50’s, a big collection of dolls from around the World and my old boarding school books. My children were horrified that I had everything organised (will, all paperwork, funeral, etc) in case I didn’t survive the op 💔. As luck had it, I did but I am determined to gradually go through all the remaining boxes which contain family history, photos, war memorabilia and even my parents’ school reports 🙄. It might be a long summer up in the attic as I’ll take it slowly & be considerate about what goes & what stays, having regretted disposing of items before in haste.

When getting rid of sentimental objects the firs thing is to take a photo and put it in a memory book of digital folder with an explanation, secondly think if there is a public archive or museum or national Trust House where this item would be valued. For example letters from the wars can go to the war museum, or a local council archive etc. Auction houses are useful if they have the right approach. I enjoy the series on TV where a man comes from Yorkshire and looks round a house and advises what he can take and sell.

I have items from my school days from the 1940's onwards up until now. Queen Elizabeths coronation mug, every single card my then boyfriend who became my husband bought me and I bought him. Our wedding invitations, place settings, telegrams, our children's cards from the day they were born then our grandchildrens drawings, the list goes on, they are all in a large ottoman I call my memory box. The toppers from the cakes of our wedding cake, our son's christening cakes the list is never ending. I also wrote a book about my and their dad's life from being born, our school days, teenage years, how we met etc. so they can sit down and read what a fantastic life we had up until their dad died ten years ago.

Our sons told me to have a clear out but I told him that when I die, they will get their inheritance both in my home and cash so they can afford to get the house clearance people in if they do not want the memory box with all theirs and our history in it. Once I am no longer on this earth it is up to them what they do with it all.

I will say one thing, I am so grateful I kept many items that belonged to my parents, grandparents and great grandparents. Birth, death, marriage certificates as well.

I have lots and lots of books, plus antiques dumped on me by my in-laws (some I like, some I will sell).
If I’m still here when I pop my clogs, this house is in a prime position and the DC will do well out if it.
They can get on with a clear out👍😁

RunaroundSue

I have items from my school days from the 1940's onwards up until now. Queen Elizabeths coronation mug, every single card my then boyfriend who became my husband bought me and I bought him. Our wedding invitations, place settings, telegrams, our children's cards from the day they were born then our grandchildrens drawings, the list goes on, they are all in a large ottoman I call my memory box. The toppers from the cakes of our wedding cake, our son's christening cakes the list is never ending. I also wrote a book about my and their dad's life from being born, our school days, teenage years, how we met etc. so they can sit down and read what a fantastic life we had up until their dad died ten years ago.

Our sons told me to have a clear out but I told him that when I die, they will get their inheritance both in my home and cash so they can afford to get the house clearance people in if they do not want the memory box with all theirs and our history in it. Once I am no longer on this earth it is up to them what they do with it all.

I will say one thing, I am so grateful I kept many items that belonged to my parents, grandparents and great grandparents. Birth, death, marriage certificates as well.

Sue it's great to keep important stuff like BMD certificates, family photos (names and dates on back) BUT I would urge you to separate the really important things from the pure memorabilia stuff (greetings cards, drawings etc.) If you don't do some culling then it's possible the kids will just despair and chuck the whole lot out together. Then some really important things may be lost.

I am doing this myself, even some stuff belonging to my mother and grandmother being chucked too! I have to realistically think what the kids will be able to keep, or would want to keep. Most UK homes now are pretty small and have limited storage space.

Just think about what is really important and put those in a marked box so they won't get dumped.

Take several photos of the item
You want to remember - then release them (and you)

I kept the old silver plated fork that my mother used to make pastry. She was a great baker and used to bring fruit pies for my children when she visited - called "pink pies". I've now given it to my daughter, she can throw it away or not as she pleases. If I'd kept it she wouldn't have known what it meant to me.

During the last 10 years or so, I have accustomed myself when tidying up or moving house to looking honestly at all the sentimental items collected during a long life.

Any that no longer really have sentimental value have gone either into the bin, the fire or to a charity shop.

The same applies to photos, letters, cards etc that make me sad to look at now that the person who wrote them is dead.

Chipped mugs, jugs etc can be used for holding pens and pencils, or as already suggested plant-pots or vases.

Things I have no use for in the forseeable future, or are unlikely to use again go out (except for my wedding dress, someone else can dispose of that after my death).

The things that have sentimental value still, I keep.

I declutter at least once a year and I'm very harsh. If it hasn't been used for a year then out it goes. Except for one thing. My grandma's poached egg pan. I get it out every time but, when it comes down to it, I just can't bring myself to throw it away so it goes back in the cupboard. It's tiny,only cooks one egg at a time and definitely isn't safe to use anymore. It doesn't take up much room (that's my excuse) but really it's linked to one of my few happy memories from childhood so it stays.

Things are things - not memories or experiences - just things. If you have physical AND mental space for something, keep it. If not away with it. Things take space from you, it's all a choice. I'm too old to keep all the history.

Although I am not a hoarder, I would always think that “if in doubt, keep it about,” unless it takes up a massive amount of space.
I love photographs, so took my parents’ albums after they died, scanned them and then gave copies to my brothers and sister.

It is hard to be ruthless and separate sentimental things, mementos of your own life or friends/family from things that should be kept and passed on as heirlooms.

Although I have been trying to de-clutter so my daughter doesn't end up having to clear loads when I depart, I have a few things of sentimental value that I will never part with, my daughter's first shoes , a couple of pieces of my mother's nicknacks. Usual type of things but I have a letter ( that I inherited when both my parents died) that brings me such sadness yet I just can't manage to throw it away . It is a letter from my father to my mother which she received on his death.
It explains how he had been leading a double life for years . 2 wives , my mother being the legal one, 2 homes and years and years of lies, deceit and excuses for his behaviour. The pain and shock it caused my mother, that I adored, was insurmountable and she too died very soon afterwards. I know it sounds like an unlikely novel but it's 100% true .
My anger towards him is still huge but I still can't destroy the letter. I wish someone would take over and dispose of it for me . Not all mementoes are good ones sadly.

Having had to clear 3 family homes in the last few years I have become much more ruthless and won’t keep anything just because I feel I should. I use my late mother’s dinner set every day and wear her favourite pearl earrings, taking great pleasure from them. There were a lot of old bits of jewellery which no one wanted so I had the melted down and now myself, my daughter and daughter in law, have lovely gold bangles made from the gold, which we all enjoy wearing.

I may be in a minority but I’m not remotely sentimental about items. The day after my wedding my dress went into a charity bag. I have no interest in ‘stuff’. I love books but once read they are passed on or given to charity. I have four children and haven’t kept anything from when they were small (although I do have thousands of photos) but it didn’t occur to me to keep locks of hair, first shoes, pictures they painted. My children are all adults and very similar to me.
Lots of my friends have homes full of sentimental items and I would never encourage them to get rid of stuff that’s important to them… but personally I just don’t get it!!

I have a copy of Anne of Green Gables which was a school prize awarded to my mother in 1939. I hadn’t seen it until I stayed with an auntie when I was nine, and found it on the bookshelves of my two older cousins. I read it over the next few days, and loved it. I took it home, and reread it more than once. My DD’s read it, but DGD’s haven’t been tempted, unfortunately. I think that my eldest DD will keep it. Although my granny had nine children, and fourteen grandchildren, I have her wedding ring, which is now 120 years old. I also have some of my mother’s jewellery, but not sure that much of it will appeal to my ‘descendants ‘. I have some Coalport and Doulton pieces which belonged to my mother and aunts too. Obviously, I do keep things of sentimental value! Having said that, I actually like these items too. The pieces of of my mother’s jewellery that I didn’t like, I didn’t keep.

I think the suggestion to use the cup as a plant pot is a good idea you could also use the plate under a plant pot in the home or in the garden. I wear my late mothers engagement ring but most of her jewellery I asked all the ( grown up) children to chose 6 items each - whether they kept them or sold them I don't know but I didn’t want to keep them hidden away as I knew I wouldn’t wear them.

Like Cabbie21 I still have my auburn hair which was cut when I was 13 years old in 1951; still in the brown paper bag which the hairdresser gave to me then. My son's teddy bear is in my bedroom and I have baby shoes in the wardrobe. I use some of my mother's plates and her bone-handled knife, though the latter is not in a very good condition, having been put in the dishwasher along with a flowered plate by 'someone'.

My Mother's handbags, and two silk blouses that she wore often; my children's Christening robes, my wedding dress, my Father's wallet, a dress I wore as a baby that my Mother had kept, and much more, but I couldn't part with any. There are two large storage boxes in the garage full of sentimental items, and my AC have been instructed to lob them straight into a skip unless they want to sort through them. The idea of taking photos is excellent, but the act of disposing of the precious things would be too much for me.

Chestnut, I’d add to your post, that if there’s any suspicion of dementia, remove any documents/memorabilia that might be wanted or needed!

Purely because he happened by chance to visit at the time, dh found FiL ripping up and binning a load of documents, inc. many concerning the family history research undertaken by MiL and her brother.

Dh retrieved a lot from the bin, and we spent ages piecing it together - among other things there were e.g. letters from relatives who’d emigrated to Australia in the mid 1800s.
To FiL, it was all just ‘rubbish’.

Too late, I realised that my mother (also dementia) had thrown out a lot of old photos, inc. some of my father on his various ships during WW2, plus large photos of the ‘flower class’ Corvettes he’d served on during the Battle of the Atlantic - HMS Gentian and Meadowsweet are two I particularly remember.🙁. Not to mention a very memorable photo of his cabin* after a violent Atlantic storm - everything upside down.
*He liked to tell us that he’d shared his cabin with a rat called Oscar!