Not allowing my dog

I live for my sweet kitty - we’re a team!
However - now we have come to the fork in the road.

I have not read all five pgs of comments yet, but for starters, here’s what I think you should do, just to see where the Grans line up, since you did ask for their advice - take a paper and pencil and chart how all the comments line up. A column for moving into home, a column for staying with the dog, and one for negotiating w/the property manager & miscellaneous. (Personally, I think this could be risky.)

Maybe seeing on paper what the majority is advising might help you, although your heart is crushed I’m sure. It’s hard.

You do need a roof over your head; your privacy and independence is important; doggy will have a good home and you said you’ll visit everyday; you’ll make new friends who will occupy your time. Plenty to think about. Good luck.

I think you answered your own question - take your home and see your little dog and daughter daily At least he has been given a home too .

That was a very lucky escape for the grandchildren Grammaretto.

I'm sympathetic silverlining.
I like dogs and have had several as pets over the years though not now.
Some people can be unreasonable and unrealistic when it comes to their pets.
My DFiL adopted a small dog with more than a hint of "staffy" in him.
Staffordshire bull terrier
Our DGC were scared of the dog and I objected to him so we stopped visiting.
Then we heard the dog had attacked his owner, grandpa, and had to be destroyed.

Scarlettsmum, I wish you all the happiness in the world, in your new home. You made a very good decision. Almshouses are like hens teeth, they rarely crop up

A t the risk of being shouted down, can I just say that not everyone is enamoured of dogs and to say that people should suddenly accept a resident’s animal, however sweet and quiet, where there is a rule against is unreasonable.
In this case.Scarlet has sensibly chosen the flat and will be very close to her dog on a daily basis so for her it’s win win. I wish her much joy.
In y case I was attached by a large dog when I was young which left me with a lifetime fear of dogs especially if they bark near me.

I wouldn't risk flounting the rules. Sure as eggs are eggs someone would delight in reporting you

I agree. There is bound to be some kind of "queen bee" who thinks they are running things - there always is in these close little communities. If you try to sneak the dog in someone will snitch because there are weak people with nothing better to do with their time.

If you see the dog every day at your daughter's house there will not be a great deal of difference in what you have now.

The legislation some posters refer to is the "Renter's Reform Bill" which is slowly making its way through parliament and it not yet law. It refers to private lets and not "social housing".
Most private LLs are unwilling to allow pets - except for things like fish or birds which do not make a noise or damage the property.

Oh, I see you have made your decision Scarlet well done. Maybe you can still campaign to have your little dog with you fall time, things may change. You will see him every day, so that's good.

Grammaretto

Because everyone thinks their own dog is harmless and well trained 😂
yogi

Exactly 😊. I’ve stopped taking my well behaved spaniel to our local cafe because of the number of lunging , barking dogs there with no manners. Owners with no idea who think their dogs need to meet and sniff every approaching dogs face. It’s really a Bad Idea and can easily lead to scraps as the dogs find it rude .

Because everyone thinks their own dog is harmless and well trained 😂
yogi

Scarlettsnan

I have asked if she can visit regularly and they had said yes so I am thinking after gauging the neighbours if I could gradually have her spend more time with me than my daughters gradually manoeuvering her weigh in but not actually living there full-time if you know what I mean

Do that Scarlet Can't understand why they will not allow a small well-trained dog. Good luck xx

Scarlettsnan

UPDATE
After much soul-searching and lots of tears, I have decided to take the house.
My dog is very happy here we have been here two years She is surrogate mum to my daughters Little cava poo and I think it may distress them more if they’re separated.
I see my daughter every day because I provide childcare for her. The only difference would be overnight. I would be on my own in my own house.
I love my dog dearly, but I’m also practical and sensible enough to know that this opportunity will never come my way again
Thank you so much for all your replies. You have given me the courage to move forward and make this decision.

You are doing the right thing, as you say these houses only come along in a blue moon.. hope you will be very happy in your new home 😊

Why do people make these cruel strictures regarding beloved pets? It's well known that dogs and cats (and no doubt other animals) are good for our health. GSM has good advice - I hope you can push this. What possible harm could your dear little dog do, if well cared-for? Good luck.

Dear Iam64

So very sorry to hear this, hope you feel better soon and that you are able to have your dog home. Difficult time for you, very difficult. Hugs for you both, you and your lovely dog. 🌷🌷🌷

The right decision. I say this as a dog lover who told her children “shoot me if I ever can’t live with my dogs”
I’ve recently fallen hard and broken my shoulder. I couldn’t havd managed without them and friends. I’ve had to board my huge young dog, couldn’t handle him and unlikely to be able to till six months post fracture. I’m having to consider the awful possibility I may never recover well enough to bring him home. Ive kept thinking about you, your tough choice and how life can change what we see as our future in the blink of an eye

I agree that you have made the right decision, hard though it is.
I would continue to question the rules. Are there other restrictions?

Sometimes rules are made by and for someone who they no longer apply to.

I'm thinking of a situation in a hospital where my df was training.
He asked why the trollies always had to be on the left side of the patient's bed.
No-one seemed to know but it transpired that years before a left handed matron had insisted on it.

ALANaV

First thing to do is ASK your daughter if she is willing to take on the dog ...say provided you pay vet bills and food, etc and f she goes on holiday you are prepared to move into her house to look after the dog (and the house ) if she says year, problem solved ...if not, you have to decide ....house or dog sadly ...

Why not read the thread?

The OP has made her decision.

Sounds as though you have made a good decision. Fabulous to have your own home and I suspect that you will stay over at your daughter occasionally (or frequently!) so you and your dog will see a lot of each other.

If your daughter didn’t know or like your dog, it would have been a different matter altogether!

🌷🌷🌷

First thing to do is ASK your daughter if she is willing to take on the dog ...say provided you pay vet bills and food, etc and f she goes on holiday you are prepared to move into her house to look after the dog (and the house ) if she says year, problem solved ...if not, you have to decide ....house or dog sadly ...

Well done. The right decision I think. I hope that it works out well.

oh gosh, I so understand how you feel,

I have had dogs and cats all my life, now ,,,,I just have a cat, feel I can`t look after a dog sufficiently well.. I go walkies and often stop and speak to dogs, (most owners are very welcoming and seem to understand me)

I would feel as you do,, HOWEVER,,, you have to take the house, you say your daughter is happy to look after her for you, yes, the evenings and night times will be strange,,,hard even,, but... you have to,, even your dog would tell you that..

practice Gratitude, that she, your dog will be well looked after, not a stranger, (imagine if you in hospital or worse! yes, think on that!) she , your dog will be settled with your daughter and you can see her every day, and have her visit you... so very hard. but....

Take the home
Your DD can be primary owner of the dog …..dog could come and visit you?

I agree very difficult. There is no way I would give up my dogs I just couldnt/wouldnt. Ive lived in a rented property that still only had an outside loo and no bathroom or central heating in order to keep my dog. It looks a lovely property though and probably ideal. If it were me I would reluctantly accept with a very very heavy heart.

Congratulations the wisest decision and you are hardly losing your dog but gaining a beautiful new home.
You will get your fix with doing childcare. So bonus all round, it will be painful buts it’s not goodbye.

You may never be offered a home you like so much again. Being a dog lover I understand the companionship you feel. Your dog is 8 years old you say, don't know the average age span of the breed you have but it could be a just a few years. (I know, awful to think about that.) Your DD seems a good option, allowing you to have a home you like. Do you know there are "toy" type dogs that appear to breathe when cuddling in, Precious Petzzzs from Amazon.Could be an alternative for your lap in the evening.