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Reluctant to go abroad!

(110 Posts)
Cid24 Sun 05-May-24 16:34:22

DH wants us to go abroad. I’m really ambivalent about going anywhere as I hate the hassle of flying. I’ve tried to persuade him to go alone but he would prefer us to go together. Now I’m feeling guilty because I don’t want to do what he wants. BUT I’m sticking to my guns , and I’m not averse to train or ferry travel ( just makes it dearer).
Does anyone else feel like this?
I guess I e just reached this grand age (67) and am not prepared to put up with s—t!

keepingquiet Sun 05-May-24 16:40:40

Flying is a hassle, I agree and becoming increasingly more so.

I don't fly much anymore but these are my guidelines if I did:

fly from the nearest airport if possible
Taxis are often cheaper than airport parking
Never fly in the middle of the night, or arrive at a silly time
go with the best airline possible.

Otherwise- just stick to your guns and don't fly.

I've decided to take trains where possible from now on but this sin't always practical.

You don't say where your husband wants to go. I don't have one so it isn't an issue for me!

Curtaintwitcher Sun 05-May-24 16:46:37

Don't let him bully you into doing something you're not comfortable with. If there is an alternative to flying, take it, otherwise you'll spend your holiday dreading the journey home.

Aveline Sun 05-May-24 16:50:32

Quite an aggressive response to the poor OH fancying a holiday.

Primrose53 Sun 05-May-24 16:52:04

My friend says this -she’s 71. I disagree. We go from our local airport which is more expensive but we are there in 25 mins. We go to the Balearics quite often and I reckon from our door to hotel is 6 - 6.5 max including waiting for flight and getting to hotel. My friend went to Somerset last year and Northumberland this year and both were 10-12 hours inc toilet breaks etc.

Casdon Sun 05-May-24 16:53:41

There’s really nothing grand old age about 67, I thought you were going to say you were 87, at 67 you should be doing all the travelling, while you’re still young and fit enough to do it.
It is more hassle to go by ferry or train to get to your destination than it is to fly, so I’m guessing you are either scared of flying, or are adamant that you don’t want to go abroad?

LOUISA1523 Sun 05-May-24 17:18:01

Aveline

Quite an aggressive response to the poor OH fancying a holiday.

I thought the same 😳
I mean people are calling him a bully for wanting holidays abroad ...harsh
Its give and take in a relationship OP ....maybe one year a holiday by train....then the next a bit further afield on a plane....my mums 87 ....she still flys....just make sure flights in the day and we get enhanced check in for her ....it doesn't have to always be a big drama

petra Sun 05-May-24 17:24:50

I was going to suggest a ferry to Santander ( with car) and then take it from there.
But as you don’t seem to like your husband very much maybe that’s too much time together.

aonk Sun 05-May-24 17:31:52

Please do grasp the mettle and go away! It doesn’t have to be a bad experience. As others have said time the flights carefully, travel at less busy times if possible, avoid a long journey on arrival and definitely get a taxi to the airport.
For the time being, at least, my DH is far too unwell to go anywhere. Go while you can. I can’t believe you consider yourself old either!

RosiesMaw Sun 05-May-24 17:33:52

Which part of “abroad” are we talking about - it’s a big place.

It’s easy enough to cross the Channel by Eurostar , ferry or the Shuttle if you are driving after which a large chunk of “abroad” is your oyster. There are train holidays, coach holidays, river cruises etc so you should be able to avoid flying if that is a problem.

biglouis Sun 05-May-24 17:40:31

I would not want to travel by air again as the entire airport experience spoils the trip. I want to avoid any situation whene I get herded in with a bunch of people I dont know (and dont wish to know).

Fairislecable Sun 05-May-24 17:41:54

My lovely father (73)refused to travel abroad ( he said he had seen enough in the war).

We rented a villa in Majorca and booked the flights told him there was no refund if he didn’t come.

He came and absolutely loved it, wished he had done it years before.

He didn’t have the opportunity to go again as he died the following year.

There is a great big world out there and we will not have enough time to see it all.

V3ra Sun 05-May-24 17:42:56

I'd far rather fly than travel any distance by car!
We fly from one of our two local airports, half an hour from home.
We use Jet2 and if there's a choice opt for a civilised flight time.
We aim to arrive at the airport four hours before the flight time, just before Jet2 open their check-in desks. This means no need to queue and fewer people going through security.
We book the Escape lounge if we're flying from East Midlands and enjoy a nice meal, with plenty of food and drink in a calm environment.
We book two aisle seats on the plane so we're not hemmed in by anyone else, towards the front so we're not trapped by the trolley if we need the toilet.
We book a transfer to the resort so when we come out of the airport on arrival there is someone waiting for us.
And relax... 😎

Fairislecable Sun 05-May-24 17:43:59

My Mother was 86 when she died and when she was given a terminal prognosis her first response was “Now I’ll never see the gorillas in the mist”!

We had no idea she wanted to!!

crazyH Sun 05-May-24 17:47:20

I’m years older than the OP and am just sorting out my case for Spain. Going on the 22nd with son and family. I write lists - the first one being medication : in case of tummy upset, headache, knee pain, sickness and vomiting, antibiotics for infection , plasters, you name it, I’ve got it and ofcourse, my inhalers. And I’m only going for a week 😂

TerriBull Sun 05-May-24 17:50:36

I completely understand how you feel about the hassle of flying, I'm kind of glad my long haul days are behind me, it's an experience I don't enjoy, all the palaver at the airport just adds to the stress as well. Having said that we recently came back from Jersey, the flight time was supposed to be an hour duration, I was ecstatic when the pilot announced it was actually only going to take 33 minutes (from Gatwick) but not really abroad though.

Grammaretto Sun 05-May-24 17:56:31

I prefer trains, especially in France and Spain but there are holdups on those as well.

I dislike airports. Can you perhaps persuade DH to take the train?
Look at the website the man in seat61
www.seat61.com

OldFrill Sun 05-May-24 18:02:35

It's so nice he doesn't want to go without you, and such a shame you don't want to go with him.
I know an excellent hotel in Crete for people travelling alone, he'll be extremely well looked after and enjoy the best company.

NanaTuesday Sun 05-May-24 18:16:12

Cid24
67 is not old per se , my Uncle went on a 3 week trip to Japan in October 23 & he is in Holland right now . Aged 97 a WW2 Veteran who was in Burma
The world is a big place & you are a long time 💀

NanaTuesday Sun 05-May-24 18:16:38

👌

JenniferEccles Sun 05-May-24 18:19:50

Had you thought about a cruise?

There are plenty of cruise lines which leave from Southampton and some depart from regional ports up and down the country too.

Theexwife Sun 05-May-24 18:55:54

There is no right or wrong here, you just want different things. Speak about it calmly Could he fly, you go by train and meet there?

Primrose53 Sun 05-May-24 19:10:52

V3ra

I'd far rather fly than travel any distance by car!
We fly from one of our two local airports, half an hour from home.
We use Jet2 and if there's a choice opt for a civilised flight time.
We aim to arrive at the airport four hours before the flight time, just before Jet2 open their check-in desks. This means no need to queue and fewer people going through security.
We book the Escape lounge if we're flying from East Midlands and enjoy a nice meal, with plenty of food and drink in a calm environment.
We book two aisle seats on the plane so we're not hemmed in by anyone else, towards the front so we're not trapped by the trolley if we need the toilet.
We book a transfer to the resort so when we come out of the airport on arrival there is someone waiting for us.
And relax... 😎

Just what we do! We did the holidaying in this country with screaming toddlers and a dog and enough camping gear for an army when we were young. 10 hour car journeys are no fun.

My friend has a really bad back and painful hip and knee and is worn out all the next day after long car journeys.

Barbadosbelle Sun 05-May-24 19:32:00

..

Crete is a wonderful island and the people are great.

And, who knows, he might meet someone at the hotel whose company he enjoys and who enjoys being with him.
They could then make it a regular thing whilst Cid24 enjoys herself without him.

Please say the name of the hotel and ask her to give Mr Cid24 the details - it would be such a pity for him not to know about it and miss the possible joy and happiness that someone who values his company could well bring him.

..

flappergirl Sun 05-May-24 19:33:18

OP, you seem rather surprised that your DH doesn't want to go alone and actually wants his wife on holiday with him. You said it as though it's a strange concept.

Are you afraid of flying? I am too but it is a necessary evil in many respects.

Getting ferries is all very well if someone doesn't mind driving for miles, which isn't very relaxing for that person.

I think you could alternate your holidays and have a compromise.