Remark by DH

Does your DH make similarly disparaging remarks to your children? Grandchildren? I know of 3 older men who make similar remarks. Do they think it is funny? A dry sense of humour? These 3 are/were actually quite unpleasant people. And for one it probably was a sign of the onset of dementia. I think, now I am in my 70s, I would reply"you really are unpleasant" every time. Don't get upset just matter of fact. As that is the fact. He is. Unlike the post above he doesn't sound like a kind caring man. Treat yourself to some nice treats. Be kind to you and forget age.

Some people just say things without reaally realising how they will be seen by the recipient. My father was a bit like this, fortunately his friends knew him to be the kind caring man he was and his occasional seemingly inapproriate remarks were just shrugged off.

If I got annoyed by every little thing that my DH said to me, we would not still be together.

sodapop I was not talking about your post. This poster seemed very upset, snd someone mentioned the spelling.

No I think he was a bit mean. It wasn’t necessary. A bit of kindness here and there doesn’t hurt. Hope you feel better soon. Agree with others re hairdo and new outfit. If he complains tell him it’s to celebrate your forthcoming seventieth 😉

Whilst the remark is true I feel it was thoughtless and unkind. We don’t need to be reminded of our age especially on the way home from a hospital visit. You need to stock up on suitable retorts and make it clear when he says something unacceptable. He is lucky that you put up with him.

rafichagran

Ah Sally don't overthink it, I am 67, I think your low self esteem and perhaps feeling unwell is making you feel like this. I hope you get better soon.
Why the need to correct someone's spelling when they are not feeling 100%?

I don't think anyone corrected the original poster rafichagran I just spelled it correctly in another post.

Sallywally1

No my DH. I think it is the history of disparaging remarks which is the issue. I didn’t mean to be rude to people. Sorry. Obviously there is nothing wrong about becoming older. I guess it is my low self esteem which is the issue here. I take care of my appearance etc. thanks for your replies. Have a lovely Sunday!

How old is your DH btw?

Good advice from pascal.

If it is your DH just smile sweetly and agree with him.. lack of an upset reaction should deflate him and hopefully his comments will diminish..

No my DH. I think it is the history of disparaging remarks which is the issue. I didn’t mean to be rude to people. Sorry. Obviously there is nothing wrong about becoming older. I guess it is my low self esteem which is the issue here. I take care of my appearance etc. thanks for your replies. Have a lovely Sunday!

I’m not too bothered about getting older. One son has told me I probably have 4 years more😂- What bothers me is that I expected my children to make more of an effort to see me , as I get older. No such luck. It’s my middle son’s birthday. I was hoping to go there and hand over the Card etc personally, but they are going away to London. And are busy next weekend too. I know our AC’s families are their priority and so it should be. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling left out.

My mother-in-law was talking on the phone to her friend about a "younger woman" of "only" 67 just last week.

Her friend is 103 and my mother-in-law is 100 now - so obviously at 67 she's still got nearly half a life still to live!

It did make me feel very positive about my own age!

I shall be an octogenarian in a couple of years, which is a slightly horrific thought. On the other hand I'm happy to play the age card when it suits me "I'm sorry, did I do that wrong? I'm afraid I'm nearly 80"

Ah Sally don't overthink it, I am 67, I think your low self esteem and perhaps feeling unwell is making you feel like this. I hope you get better soon.
Why the need to correct someone's spelling when they are not feeling 100%?

As a determined atheist brought up on RE (Div. in my day) I knew all about three score years and ten, and decided from that age on to treat each year as a bonus, and each decade as a milestone. I have welcomed the completion of my eighth decade earlier this month, and look forward to hitting eighty-one. Be positive, whatever people say!

If it was your son I'd ignore it, he's likely seeking a reaction. If it was your husband you need to talk to him about how negative comments bring you down and his support would be appreciated.

You say your DH has a habit of making derogatory remarks to you. This obviously has a huge bearing on it. If he is in the habit of putting you down then I can see why you would find this upsetting. Reminding someone how old they are can be said in a matter of fact way, in a joking way or in a sarcastic way. Given that you'd just had a procedure and were at a low ebb I think he could have said something uplifting.

Annsixty totally agree

I am a septuagenarian - I do not consider it to be a derogatory label.

I am guessing that you will get a few replies along these lines!

If it was your son he was probably just winding you up. Enjoy your next 3 years as a sexagenarian...

PS. I'm 86 and amazed to have lived this long. Also quite proud of it really.
You seem very young to me.

I know how you feel, Sallywally. Low self esteem makes us sensitive.
But, no I don't think that is really rude. There's nothing wrong with being nearly 70. It depends on how he said it, maybe. Is he often disparaging towards you? Try to shrug it off and be proud of your age. Good wishes.

It’s a privilege to be allowed to reach an advanced age, not something to be ashamed of.
Some years ago I asked DH what he would like for his 70th birthday. He replied “To see it”
He made it, just, coming out of hospital in time for gentle tea party celebration with the whole extended family -and died 6 weeks later.
Don’t be apologetic - be proud and don’t let unthinking people put you down. Your self-esteem can be as high as you want it to be!

If he says it again how about: "start saving now for the wonderful present you're going to give me"

DM, who lived to be 93 with a quick brain and sharp tongue to the end, used to delight as every year passed, to tell us how she had outlived both her parents and most of her enemies.
She wasn't so pleased about outliving all her friends.

I had a lovely party to celebrate becoming 75 last year. I decided to celebrate and not hide away.