Empty nest

It's normal to feel sad when your children leave home. I remember feeling quite low for a while after my youngest child flew the nest.
You will get used to it as I did and now I am happy without having them around all the time.
I love seeing them but feel glad after visits to close my front door and know I only have me to please.

It’s normal to feel sad at first but not good to hang on to
Mine all left early ( nothing I did I don’t think just opportunities ) it’s sad at first but then you glory in what they are achieving, doing, managing and it is such a normal progression My eldest went to a training job in London the youngest went travelling and the middle one went for a lookround NZ with his then girlfriend and never returned
That was 27 years ago 😀 yours are nearby, be happy, be glad and accept it’s their lives not yours to do what they wish with.
It’s all natural natural for themto move out and on and natural for you to feel sad but don’t make feeling sad into a hobby

I think the feeling is really mourning for a part of life that is now over, but the fact of having raised children who have embraced adult life and responsibility should make us feel really quite smug! And if relationships are happy we go on sharing in their lives and perhaps being useful in a different way. The feeling will pass!

Be careful what you wish for. Nearly five years ago my friends' son moved back into his old room after a rather awful break up with his partner of nine years. He is still there. To say that the situation is unhappy is an understatement.

Cateq
You will get used to it soon - after all, at 36 he didn't really need "looking after" surely. It's great that he's found somewhere to live. This is a happy time for him, enjoy his joy and the fact that he is finally able to spread his wings.
It won't be long till you find the relief of closing the door after a visit.

Just as an aside, by 36, my parents had already both died and I was married with 5 children. Having left for university at 17 I'd not gone back "home" to live.

You have had him a very long time - nearly twenty years longer than my mum.

You will see how happy he is and will no doubt relax. The move may be turbulent for you but he's not going far away.


Spend some precious happy time now with your husband. That is surely a bonus.

To be honest I quite liked it when my two left the nest, one at 20 and one at 24, it meant we could focus on us without considering another person.
They both live locally, so we still see them regularly, we seem to have equipped them well to continue growing their own lives independently from us, the circle of life.

I must be strange because I didn’t feel sad. I was more upset when the youngest went travelling for a year.
I’d had 34 years of child rearing and already had a 12 year old grandson from my eldest son though so maybe that had something to do with it.
Both live close by, so we see each other regularly anyway.
Think of it as a new start for you. Make plans to change their rooms around to whatever suits you, and keep busy. You’ll love it .

Not so strange Katyj 🙂

I was stressed when our daughter left home for uni worrying about her away from home. She didn’t really come back as she was courting and made her life away from home. We get to see her but I do still wish she lived close by.
Our son moved out when he bought his house he doesn’t live far we see him when we can work permitting etc.
Empty nest is something you just have to get on with and it’s best to keep occupied. Especially me I was really quite tearful your family are all close by and you will be ok.

Oh how I wish we had an empty nest!

Three still at home, lovely AC BUT…

The two oldest, both girls are saving for mortgages and have a plan, but, alas, the youngest, son of 21, has no chance of leaving any time soon. Low paid jobs, does a bit of DJ, bit of playing on a band and lots of practice at home AAAAGGGGHHH

Thank god for our static caravan in the country! Our paradise and escape!

I read once, one benefit of the Menopause is. its less upsetting letting your children go.
Agree, I was sad when they went off but boy did the bills, especially the electric drop .

No, you will be fine, my DH is like a big kid, so no change here.

In a way I think it's a bit like retiring - the structure of your life changes, leaving a big hole and you have to fill it. Take a bit of time to think about things you would like to do for your self, what your husband would like to do, what you would like to do separately and jointly. Now is the time to start building the rest of your life. Don't sit around waiting for your family to include you in their lives, that's not fair on them.

I never really got over it. I am in close contact with my AC but would love to get those days back. Life’s never the same. You’re not alone with these feelings.

Skydancer

I never really got over it. I am in close contact with my AC but would love to get those days back. Life’s never the same. You’re not alone with these feelings.

Same here. I had a discussion with my daughter yesterday about my cluttered house and said a lot of stuff was hers or her brothers. She said just to get rid of it but I said I found it sad that things from her childhood meant nothing to her. Having said that it was keeping so much if it that made me sad after they’d both left home. I should have cleared it out at the time.

Our daughters left home at the age of 18 when they went to university, we had no problem about the at all. They all had good jobs when they got their degrees. They would come home in the holidays for a few days, before going off somewhere with their friends.

We would have had much more of a problem if they came back to live with us at home, as many seem to do these days.

MayBee70

Skydancer

I never really got over it. I am in close contact with my AC but would love to get those days back. Life’s never the same. You’re not alone with these feelings.

Same here. I had a discussion with my daughter yesterday about my cluttered house and said a lot of stuff was hers or her brothers. She said just to get rid of it but I said I found it sad that things from her childhood meant nothing to her. Having said that it was keeping so much if it that made me sad after they’d both left home. I should have cleared it out at the time.

I kept loads of my son's childhood things, thinking he'd like to share with his children.. But when he bought his own house he took it all to the tip..