Are you too scared to post what you really think?

I'm not "too scared" to post what I really think, but whenever I want to post, I try to exercise some judgement and think carefully about what I'm writing. I completely avoid topics which one or two posters have monopolised, where they take verbal swipes at others and take offence easily.
Comments in some of the posts seem intolerant to me. I also think moderators should be quick to delete any posts which include hints of racism, homophobia etc.
I want to contribute to a site where people exchange viewpoints respectfully so no-one has to feel scared about posting or feel as though they're walking on eggshells.

I think I have gone against the tide or righteousness so many times, that everyone knows that I have absolutely no fears at all about disagreeing with other people.

However i do try always to keep the disagreement to the issue being discussed and I try always to avoid casting any personal aspersions on the person who wrote the opinion I disagree with. Whether I am always successful I do not know because I have been amazed at the number of things people can take offence at or worse still be upset by. Things that it would never occur to me were either offensive or upsetting.

As GSM says often it is a case of not what you say but the way that you say it.

Given that we are old enough to be grandpaerents, although not all are, so have been knocking around the world for many decades, I would expect all but a very few to have coped with enough kicks and halfpence in life to be reasonable emotionally robist.

I'm aware of being careful what I say on GN. I don't like offending people.
It amazes me how outspoken some people are at times.
But also, I'm amazed at how the whole world seems to take offence so easily
these days.
Quite honestly, I just don't like conflict so I'd rather keep my thoughts to myself, often.

I think most of us "back off" some threads.

I'm an impulsive contributor to GN, I don't always think things out first before posting, and jump in and say straight off . Maybe I am viewed as being ridiculous, I don't know, but at least I'm never rude or encourage nasty spats.
I was accused of racism on a royal thread for calling Omid Scobie, Soobydo!!! 🤣 🤣
I tend to withdraw if things get unpleasant, so maybe a bit scared.

I’m not scared, but sometimes what I post is very different from how I would vocalise in a real life discussion, I’d be kicked off as well.

Thanks Primrose, and likewise. 😊

No I am not to scared but it is all about what you say and how you say it. Some people just like to find fault and end up having a spat. What bothers me most is how the subject of an original post ends up being changed into something completely different from what the OP was saying. For example when I first posted (about Mr J's health) inadvertently using the wrong Acronyms, I was jumped on from a great height and the post became all about that and not about the issue I was raising.

There are times in real life when I have had to hold my tongue and on here I have to keep my fingers off the keyboard.
I will type what I think as long as I feel I am being reasonable.

Sometimes I end up overthinking my comments because on certain topics people who dislike as having a different situation to them will try to cause arguments and won't let me explain my meaning

As an autistic person this can be quite difficult because I don't always have the right words to express myself

But I'm quite patient so just keep plodding on lol

ferry23

"I would be scared to post an opinion that was racist, anti-semetic, homophobic, xenophobic etc, because it is against the law, and I would feel much less as a person."

That's an interesting comment Whitewavemark2. I hope I'm correct in assuming that it's maybe a bit badly worded?

It reads as if you DO have opinions that are racist, or anti semitic etc but you're scared to post them because it's illegal and you know it would show you in a bad light.

😀 what do you think?

I'm with you GSM. If I posted what I really think I would be banned too.

Germanshepherdsmum

I’m not scared to say what I think, but there are times when if I said what I really think, I would be banned. Sometimes language has to be tempered!

I look forward to reading your posts Germanshepherdsmum😉

I’m not scared to say what I think, but there are times when if I said what I really think, I would be banned. Sometimes language has to be tempered!

Sometimes I disagree with a poster but choose not to say so, though not because I am scared. I try to post positively, not negatively.

I sometimes post a response without due thought because I am annoyed. I have tried to curb this reaction.
I do agree that sometimes posts are misread or misunderstood, no cues that we get when speaking face to face.

"I would be scared to post an opinion that was racist, anti-semetic, homophobic, xenophobic etc, because it is against the law, and I would feel much less as a person."

That's an interesting comment Whitewavemark2. I hope I'm correct in assuming that it's maybe a bit badly worded?

It reads as if you DO have opinions that are racist, or anti semitic etc but you're scared to post them because it's illegal and you know it would show you in a bad light.

I steer clear of estrangement, gender and royal threads, which seem to be where there is most personal conflict, and it’s a lot less stressful not to get involved at all

And me! I am astounded at some comments that people direct at others. It is dreadful, particularly as they have no idea of that persons background or mental state. It really is appalling.

Sometimes yes. But generally if a post is taken over by a few or if it gets a tad nasty, I just withdraw.

I think it depends on the thread topics. I’m always forthright on news and politics threads, there are a lot of people with strong views on them and you have to be prepared to stand your ground - but that’s just the nature of the beast, in conversation as well as online, it’s not personal but about the topic being discussed. I can understand the more sensitive find them challenging though because if you aren’t well informed you get a tough ride (although nothing like as tough as you’d get on Mumsnet).
I steer clear of estrangement, gender and royal threads, which seem to be where there is most personal conflict, and it’s a lot less stressful not to get involved at all.

No I'm not afraid to speak my mind. My opinion is just as valid as any other posters.

It took me a long time to learn to stick up for myself in RL but I do now. Becoming a mother made me confident so that I could do the best for my child. Having six did that six times over.

Having said that I would never be rude to anyone. But if someone comes over as schoolmarmish or tries to belittle my opinions they might get 'both barrels'.

I enjoy reading everyone's opinions. Sometimes I join in but no one on here scares me.

Whitewavemark2

No I am certainly not frightened of posting what I think. Sometimes I’m proved to be wrong, and if necessary I will apologise.

I do not out of respect become personal - no point as I’ve then lost the argument. I therefore hope that being aware that I will never become personal, someone with opposing views can air their views knowing that the debate will stay at that level and never degenerate into a ridiculous free for all.

I would be scared to post an opinion that was racist, anti-semetic, homophobic, xenophobic etc, because it is against the law, and I would feel much less as a person.

Like myself, I cannot imagine many here posting things of that nature, especially you, not because we are scared but because we are not racist, or any of those other things.

No I am certainly not frightened of posting what I think. Sometimes I’m proved to be wrong, and if necessary I will apologise.

I do not out of respect become personal - no point as I’ve then lost the argument. I therefore hope that being aware that I will never become personal, someone with opposing views can air their views knowing that the debate will stay at that level and never degenerate into a ridiculous free for all.

I would be scared to post an opinion that was racist, anti-semetic, homophobic, xenophobic etc, because it is against the law, and I would feel much less as a person.

It is not necessary to be either rude or cruel when disagreeing with another poster. Sometimes it's difficult not to be, especially when a person has just put forward an opinion without any supporting evidence. A bit like flat earthers.

I think some misunderstanding online wouldn't happen in conversation as you can pick up on body langauge.