Are you too scared to post what you really think?

People’s definition of ‘nasty’ can vary. At times it’s obvious- as with the dig at GSM referred to by Joseann earlier.

MONICA. Perhaps it is the way that people reply to comments that is the problem, there is no reason to be nasty when replying to someones postings and it happens a lot on here. So if you cannot reply in a sociable manner then do not reply at all.

I’m curious about the idea those famous some posters are scared to post, alongside criticisms of some other posters, k/a queen bees.
As Joseann’s post shows, GSM is often subject to personal attacks. I wonder if some believe she’s so robust that nothing touches her, whereas others are so fragile they take disagreement with ideas as personal attacks

Oreo

M0nica

The other problem is that some people think anyone who disagrees with them is being personally nasty and abusive.

No, there’s a clear difference with a personal attack.

So, here's one from this morning that is clearly a personal attack.

Nit picking German Shepherds mum (as always).

And, there is no need to report this as being taken from different thread because what I am showing is that such a comment appears to indicate that there will now automatically be criticism of the poster mentioned across ALL threads.

Ah, yeah see what you mean.Am sorry to hear you had problems recently on a thread.

Oreo I agree, but some people take any criticism as a personal attack.

M0nica

The other problem is that some people think anyone who disagrees with them is being personally nasty and abusive.

No, there’s a clear difference with a personal attack.

Glorianny I think that is right

I was also glad to have some of my stims explained and my colleagues feel more able to remind me I am clicking my pen lid over and over in meetings or that it isn't always appropriate to burst into song that shows what you are thinking

I am interested to hear your son's views on neuro divergency, Glorianny. In my family, 3 of us with ADHD plus 2 also being dyspraxic, communication has never been a problem.

It is more the general consciousness of being different but not quite knowing why, and in a school situation, how the school deal with it.

For me it is the coping with technology, specificlly mobile phones and trying to get people to understand it is not that I am an old woman who doesnt understand technology, but that i have specific problems.

I know this because when I wrote about it once before, someone with a young grandson with dyspraxia, wrote that he had the same problems and in the hair dressers yesterday I was talking to the shampooist, in her first job so 16+(1?), who said she was dyslexic and she had problems using her phone, not dissimilar to mine.

LucyAnna2

Not sure about a Queen Bee, but there are a couple of posters with strong, challenging views, who are omnipresent on many threads.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Not sure about a Queen Bee, but there are a couple of posters with strong, challenging views, who are omnipresent on many threads.

VioletSky

Imagine being me, finding out you are autistic in your late forties... Suddenly having an explanation for all your quirks:

Having special interests in subjects you will go to great lengths to educate yourself on

Being frankly, abrupt

Having almost no ability to recognise sarcasm

Being very susceptible to assertions about yourself despite logically knowing it isn't true (here that would be being told what I think or mean)

Needing more time and space to be able to process what is being said to you and formulate answers

Having different ways to communicate and express empathy

BUT there is almost no support available to help learn to cope with any of those things as an adult

THEN finally being brave enough to reveal that about yourself to people you hope are emotionally mature enough to make at least some small allowances... Only for them to use it personally against you and treat you like you are somehow less of a person and incapable of participating in forums or life in general at all

Yes it was rubbish for a while but it's helped me become more resilient over time so that's something

And as sad as it is I am far from alone finding this forum a negative place at times

I was discussing things with my neurodivergent son. He says that neurodivergent people find it easier to communicate with others who are like them and more difficult to communicate with those who aren't. I did a rough assessment of family and friends and it's mostly true. I did wonder if it's also true with on line communication.
But then my views so often conflict with some posters I'm not sure it's anything to do with that or just with mine being a bit different.

M0nica

The other problem is that some people think anyone who disagrees with them is being personally nasty and abusive.

I agree M0nica, I also think that attempts at irony and humour are often misconstrued. What’s interesting about this thread is that I can tell that many of us may not hit it off with one or several other posters, but if there was a secret vote as to who people feel is a problem poster, there would be many different names in the frame, just as there would in our daily lives - we all hit it off much better with some people than others.

I think GN is a much nicer, kinder place than it was a few years ago.
I first dipped into GN some time ago and I found an interesting chat that had been going a while so I started to read it. Round about page 2 somebody posted all about the colour of her new car (totally off topic, not even an interesting off piste comment). The next few posts were mainly a conversation between about three GNs about cars. They were ignoring others' posts and OP had given up long ago.

I posted my very first comment, explaining I was new and asked why they had gone so far off topic. The reply was something like. "We often wander off into interesting discussions that have nothing to do with the original subject this is the way GN works. I see you are new to GN. If this bothers you, might I suggest that you would be happier on another chat site."

In other words we are the bosses round here so, if you don't like it, buzz off and stay buzzed off. Some of you may remember this delightful women.

I know some topics do wander and there is nothing wrong with that but to hijack a chat to catch up with your mates was something else entirely.

AGAA4

JamesandJon33

Joseann I have found that most things I post are ignored completely.

I have been on GN for years and most of my posts aren't answered. It doesn't mean they haven't been read and may have given the reader some pause for thought so I carry on posting and I hope you will too. I read your posts!

I have long felt this, and think it’s a shame that opportunities for an interesting discussion are missed, either by a post being ignored or a snappy reply posted.
Mind you, I do believe that listening to others in real life is fast dying out too, which I’m sure you’ll have found if you’ve ever repeated the same thing ten times to a customer service advisor on the phone! I often get the feeling in a group that some are just so desperate to have their say that they ignore what others have to say, and the same seems to happen on here, which is a shame.
I also notice that a post may start ‘ We took my 5 year old grandson to the GP…..’, then comes, ‘ You need to take him to the GP’, or ‘ What age is she?’
All about listening.

The other problem is that some people think anyone who disagrees with them is being personally nasty and abusive.

This thread reminds me of one from some years ago. Cliques was the cry at that time

There are a few posters who I think of as ‘Queen Bees’.

Hope no one thinks I am!

Who are they? 🤷‍♀️

I couldn’t possibly comment.

The main problem on forums is that some misguided souls get personal in their replies to you if they just disagree with your opinion, seems to be their only way of going about things.

You don't have to agree to respect someone's view point.
I think Germanshepherdsmum and I quite often disagree with each other - but I hope I'm not rude to her and I don't believe she is to me.

If you use the Preview button before you post, you'll see if it's worked.

* * is for names

[ flowers]

Make sure the text touches the [......] with no gaps either end or it doesn't work. Same for names in .....

💐