Children travelling alone on public transport

cc

pascal30

I think it's quite normal for parents to accompany their children for Uni Open days.. I certainly did with mine.. then they go off and do a tour with another student..

Having said that my own parents didn't accompany me when I went for Uni interviews.. many moons ago.

I'm afraid that I don't think that it is normal, young adults need to be left alone to get on with things.

Agreed. Universities aren’t schools. I wouldn’t have dreamt of going to open days with my ‘children’.

Once we know where they were going, I went (by myself) to have a look. There was a charge to visit my son’s Oxbridge college, but once I said my son was going there in October I was welcomed with open arms, and not charged!

I must have been 8 or 9 when I first went on a Bus with school friends.
Different today, my son was about 11 as occasionally he had to get on the bus to school, my daughter older about 16 to 6th form collage she had to go at daft times.
Uni we took them, we wanted to see the Uni as well.

I know BL doesn’t have children, so there’s perhaps a bit of the unknown in her post, especially as I recall her relationship with her parents wasn’t very supportive? Apologies if I’m wrong.
My parents didn’t have a car when I was younger, so from about 9 or 10 I was allowed to get the bus into Durham with a neighbour’s daughter on Saturdays. Having passed the 11+ it was a different bus route but also into Durham.
However, my DDs went to prep school 12 miles away, so we shared a lift with another local family. Once at Senior School, I undertook the 25 mile trip twice (often thrice) daily.
I continued to ferry them around to social events until they could drive themselves - as these usually took place in Newcastle rather than near home. *remember DD2 is a wheelchair user, so public transport was almost impossible for her to access in those days.
Both girls are very seasoned travellers now, so being ferried around by me, hasn’t done them much harm.

I don’t understand the responses of “it not being normal” to accompany our 17/18/19 year olds to interviews and open days at Universities. When I took my daughter and son, many many other parents were there, the parents got a different “tour” to the potential undergrads. Having not attended University myself I found it really interesting.

ALL of our offspring could cook, shop, clean, iron etc independently long before they left school, so were pretty self sufficient when travelling or attending University or college.

cc

pascal30

I think it's quite normal for parents to accompany their children for Uni Open days.. I certainly did with mine.. then they go off and do a tour with another student..

Having said that my own parents didn't accompany me when I went for Uni interviews.. many moons ago.

I'm afraid that I don't think that it is normal, young adults need to be left alone to get on with things.

Well they were used to flying to school in France on their own from the age of 14... and wanted me to go with them to the Open days...so perhaps you are correct CC .. and it was over 20 years ago..

When I needed to, for secondary school, and into town for the library, to the swim pool, etc, so 11. No car so we were used to buses. I visited university places alone - and travelled to them alone with a big trunk.

DS was accepted to his chosen uni without a visit, so we didnt see it until we took him and possessions down. And I'm glad we did. He arrived at the college dorms to find them completely empty for 24 hours, and freaked out, and we had decided to stay over anyway.

How old were you when you first began using public transport either alone or with school age friends?

I was seven years old, my brother was five.
We'd just returned from a year in the USA and moved to Helensburgh in Scotland.
We knew no-one.

Our new school was a train ride away, not something we were used to.
On the first morning our mother took us, with our two year old sister.
She said, "You'll be all right by yourselves tomorrow, won't you."
My brother said yes, I said no.
Mum didn't go out to work, she was at home with our sister.
I wasn't happy about it but we just had to get on with it ☹️

Another here who thinks the issues aren’t related.
Dunno when it first became the norm for parents to attend university open days but think it’s nothing to do with public transport.
We didn’t go with our own children but they’ve gone with the grandchildren as a matter of course. NMaybe something to do with knowing they’ll be footing a significant part of the bill!

I don't think Op has much awareness of the reality of student life

On the contrary, I was invited for interview to all 5 universities I applied to and 3 involved a train journey and then a bus out to the campus. I spent 3 years as an undergraduate and 5 years as a postgrad so I have plenty of experience of the "reality" of student life. But its fair to add that I moved myself and all my possessions to attend uni because I managed to bag a council flat.

Like most kids when I was 11 and starting secondary school I had to travel across London by bus. When we moved further away I stayed at the same school and then had to get a bus, followed by two tubes and quite a long walk by then I was 12 but it was never a problem. Even dealing with some of the pervs encountered on the tube who were oddly attracted to my school uniform.

I was sent to school by bus from age 4 or 5. It was about 6 miles away as my parents who were new to the area presumed the village school would not be suitable.
We knew no one in the village but found out that a 6 year old girl took the bus from an earlier stop and she could show me the way.
Coming home one day I waited for her but she had gone on so I walked down the town to the bus station and managed to get home.

I travelled to school from age 11 by bus (or walked). I remember getting the Greenline bus with a friend to go to see "Two Gentlemen of Verona" at Regent's Park open air theatre. The bus broke down on the way back! I went for 2 university interviews on my own and, for one that involved a long bus trip, my mum came with me.

DS got the bus to school from the age of 9 - we lived in a small village and all the youngsters travelled by bus. When it came time for him to go to university open days DH, I, or both of us took him - because parents were invited to attend and were catered for, both with refreshments and our own tours.

My oldest friend and I went by bus to primary school in the next village at the age of 4 chaperoned by my older brother who was 6!

In summer we would walk the mile and a bit, no pavements, and occasionally in winter our dads would ferry us depending on which shift they were working.

Different times eh!

My mum put me on the bus to school when I was 5. I had a few friends who went with me.
All my children used buses from a fairly young age. We took them to some open days but not all.
My GS and GD were driven around a lot but when they were at university quickly became adept at using buses and trains.

I first caught a bus by myself when I was eight in order to go to my piano lessons in the next village (Norfolk). I remember being told to stick my arm out if I saw the bus coming and I was the only person at the stop.

At the age of 8 a group of us went 5 miles by bus to the nearest swimming pool to learn to swim and also to the cinema for Saturday morning pictures. At age 11 we travelled 10 miles by train to school. I don't think our parents worried at all but, in fairness, the world is a much busier place and more dangerous place now.

I used to work with a guy who lived in London. He was catching two trains to get to school from age 6. Probably the 70s.

University open days I think are different as a parent you would want to see the facilities the university has to offer, as well as how the subject will be taught ( not always the same in each university ) what the accommodation is like and I think you would ask questions that a 17/18 year old might not think off, they are only interested in the nightlife😂 .

I live near a large university town and yes parents drive their children to open days and to and from the university at the start and end of years.
But I don't think that has anything to do with young people not using public transport. We have a metro system that goes to the coast and last weekend hundreds of 16 year olds travelled on it to party and celebrate the end of exams on the beach. On weekends and evenings and in the summer holidays gangs of children between 8 and 13 roam around on it, without paying, jumping on and off at will, unless the driver decides to report them.
I'd say most of them are far more confident and certainly less worried about authority than I was at their age.

We went with our son to university open days and also took him to uni when he started. I think that’s normal. It wasn’t treating him like a parcel. Where we used to live there was no public transport for my son to use anyway except the school bus so of course we drove him around. We bought him a car for his 17th birthday and he passed his test soon afterwards so could go out without our help.

I probably went on a bus by myself for the first time when I was 11 and went to grammar school. My parents didn’t have a car.

I used to get two buses to the riding stables when I was around 9 or 10. One time, the bus arrived at the bus station and I got on it, but I didn't realise that, although it was the right number, it was going in the opposite direction and I ended up in a town in the next county. Fortunately, the bus driver took pity on me and let me stay on as it went back the other way again and I eventually got there. My mother just told me not to be so stupid again!

I agree cc - my husband was running open days and said that often the young person couldn't get a word in because of the parents! It drove him mad and he felt it did a disservice to the student.

Then, when more and more started coming, he (with colleagues) devised ways of separating off the parents from prospective students so that at least the poor students could get away. Separate talks and as the system developed, Separate guided tours.

Needless to say, more recently when the "lone" students were getting to be a rarity, he, and other staff warmed to anyone who was interestedenoughtoput in the effort.
He always remembered those students and was delighted if they arrived in one of his seminars.

Our children were put on the train and got there themselves. We deliberately didn't want to influence them - but did sit with them ahead of time to discuss things they might want to ask and insisted they wrote the questions down. I suppose some might not want to be seen with a list of questions - but they can always look it over in a quiet moment.
We funded their travel but left them to it. They each went to look at several except the one who was fixated on a particular course who looked at that one university and one backup.

In "our day" I would have been mortified to have my parents go with me. This was a big step for me into my adult life.

I visited several universities and my "first choice" had a full day of interviews and practical work. I had to stay the night. I had probably just had my 17th birthday.

Sorry I pressed , before I had finished. I used to catch the train ( 30 minute journey) from my home town to visit my sister in her nurses digs,from about 13/14 then walk through a city centre to get there, I was catching a bus alone to see friends and relatives from about the age of 10. I walked to school from the age of 6, there were others in the street going to the same school and we had to cross a busy ( for the 60s) rd to get there. My own DD used to walk to my mother's house from school from the age of 10 it was about a 10 minute walk. But it has stood her in good stead and she walks everywhere now as she doesn't drive.

I had to get a bus to primary school and did it on my own aged from about 6/7.

Secondary school was a 3.5 mile bus ride away.

I left school at 15 and would commute to London everyday

At a school reunion recently one of my friends was telling me about when she went off to Uni. She was very bright indeed so went to grammar school a year early, so she was a year younger than the rest of us.

She lived in a tiny rural village with really poor transport and her parents did not have a car. She went off alone on her own aged just 16 with a massive rucksack and a suitcase to a place she had never visited before. She caught the one weekly bus from her village, followed by two train journeys. She became a PE teacher.