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Children travelling alone on public transport

(113 Posts)
biglouis Tue 18-Jun-24 12:41:24

My parents had no car so there was no one to ferry me around. For such "activities" as we had their my friends and I either walked or cycled. Later when I attended secondary school I got the bus in bad weather.

I was reading a piece on young adults of 18ish going for university open days and their parents transporting them there like parcels. Some people of that age have never travelled alone on public transport so how are they going to manage getting to university, work and so on? How are they going to develop independence and self reliance?

I was using buses to travel into Liverpool city center (about 25 minutes ride) from age 11. Sometimes alone and sometimes with friends. I knew where the main shops and landmarks were. So I was able to navigate from one side of the city to another within the shopping and commercial area.

At 16 I went to work as a library assistant and could (in theory) be sent to work in any of 30 different branches. I soon developed a wide knowledge of the different bus and other routes.

How old were you when you first began using public transport either alone or with school age friends?

Septimia Tue 18-Jun-24 15:10:23

I travelled to school from age 11 by bus (or walked). I remember getting the Greenline bus with a friend to go to see "Two Gentlemen of Verona" at Regent's Park open air theatre. The bus broke down on the way back! I went for 2 university interviews on my own and, for one that involved a long bus trip, my mum came with me.

DS got the bus to school from the age of 9 - we lived in a small village and all the youngsters travelled by bus. When it came time for him to go to university open days DH, I, or both of us took him - because parents were invited to attend and were catered for, both with refreshments and our own tours.

kircubbin2000 Tue 18-Jun-24 15:09:28

I was sent to school by bus from age 4 or 5. It was about 6 miles away as my parents who were new to the area presumed the village school would not be suitable.
We knew no one in the village but found out that a 6 year old girl took the bus from an earlier stop and she could show me the way.
Coming home one day I waited for her but she had gone on so I walked down the town to the bus station and managed to get home.

FlexibleFriend Tue 18-Jun-24 15:09:17

Like most kids when I was 11 and starting secondary school I had to travel across London by bus. When we moved further away I stayed at the same school and then had to get a bus, followed by two tubes and quite a long walk by then I was 12 but it was never a problem. Even dealing with some of the pervs encountered on the tube who were oddly attracted to my school uniform.

biglouis Tue 18-Jun-24 14:56:04

I don't think Op has much awareness of the reality of student life

On the contrary, I was invited for interview to all 5 universities I applied to and 3 involved a train journey and then a bus out to the campus. I spent 3 years as an undergraduate and 5 years as a postgrad so I have plenty of experience of the "reality" of student life. But its fair to add that I moved myself and all my possessions to attend uni because I managed to bag a council flat.

winterwhite Tue 18-Jun-24 14:52:52

Another here who thinks the issues aren’t related.
Dunno when it first became the norm for parents to attend university open days but think it’s nothing to do with public transport.
We didn’t go with our own children but they’ve gone with the grandchildren as a matter of course. NMaybe something to do with knowing they’ll be footing a significant part of the bill!

V3ra Tue 18-Jun-24 14:52:47

How old were you when you first began using public transport either alone or with school age friends?

I was seven years old, my brother was five.
We'd just returned from a year in the USA and moved to Helensburgh in Scotland.
We knew no-one.

Our new school was a train ride away, not something we were used to.
On the first morning our mother took us, with our two year old sister.
She said, "You'll be all right by yourselves tomorrow, won't you."
My brother said yes, I said no.
Mum didn't go out to work, she was at home with our sister.
I wasn't happy about it but we just had to get on with it ☹️

Wyllow3 Tue 18-Jun-24 14:51:58

When I needed to, for secondary school, and into town for the library, to the swim pool, etc, so 11. No car so we were used to buses. I visited university places alone - and travelled to them alone with a big trunk.

DS was accepted to his chosen uni without a visit, so we didnt see it until we took him and possessions down. And I'm glad we did. He arrived at the college dorms to find them completely empty for 24 hours, and freaked out, and we had decided to stay over anyway.

pascal30 Tue 18-Jun-24 14:41:15

cc

pascal30

I think it's quite normal for parents to accompany their children for Uni Open days.. I certainly did with mine.. then they go off and do a tour with another student..

Having said that my own parents didn't accompany me when I went for Uni interviews.. many moons ago.

I'm afraid that I don't think that it is normal, young adults need to be left alone to get on with things.

Well they were used to flying to school in France on their own from the age of 14... and wanted me to go with them to the Open days...so perhaps you are correct CC .. and it was over 20 years ago..

Cossy Tue 18-Jun-24 14:40:26

I don’t understand the responses of “it not being normal” to accompany our 17/18/19 year olds to interviews and open days at Universities. When I took my daughter and son, many many other parents were there, the parents got a different “tour” to the potential undergrads. Having not attended University myself I found it really interesting.

ALL of our offspring could cook, shop, clean, iron etc independently long before they left school, so were pretty self sufficient when travelling or attending University or college.

Georgesgran Tue 18-Jun-24 14:38:09

I know BL doesn’t have children, so there’s perhaps a bit of the unknown in her post, especially as I recall her relationship with her parents wasn’t very supportive? Apologies if I’m wrong.
My parents didn’t have a car when I was younger, so from about 9 or 10 I was allowed to get the bus into Durham with a neighbour’s daughter on Saturdays. Having passed the 11+ it was a different bus route but also into Durham.
However, my DDs went to prep school 12 miles away, so we shared a lift with another local family. Once at Senior School, I undertook the 25 mile trip twice (often thrice) daily.
I continued to ferry them around to social events until they could drive themselves - as these usually took place in Newcastle rather than near home. *remember DD2 is a wheelchair user, so public transport was almost impossible for her to access in those days.
Both girls are very seasoned travellers now, so being ferried around by me, hasn’t done them much harm.

Visgir1 Tue 18-Jun-24 14:24:25

I must have been 8 or 9 when I first went on a Bus with school friends.
Different today, my son was about 11 as occasionally he had to get on the bus to school, my daughter older about 16 to 6th form collage she had to go at daft times.
Uni we took them, we wanted to see the Uni as well.

Grandma70s Tue 18-Jun-24 14:22:14

cc

pascal30

I think it's quite normal for parents to accompany their children for Uni Open days.. I certainly did with mine.. then they go off and do a tour with another student..

Having said that my own parents didn't accompany me when I went for Uni interviews.. many moons ago.

I'm afraid that I don't think that it is normal, young adults need to be left alone to get on with things.

Agreed. Universities aren’t schools. I wouldn’t have dreamt of going to open days with my ‘children’.

Once we know where they were going, I went (by myself) to have a look. There was a charge to visit my son’s Oxbridge college, but once I said my son was going there in October I was welcomed with open arms, and not charged!

AreWeThereYet Tue 18-Jun-24 14:15:41

Some people of that age have never travelled alone on public transport so how are they going to manage getting to university, work and so on? How are they going to develop independence and self reliance?

Despite being ferried around since they were born most University students have enough upstairs to work out how to use a bus or a train.

We lived in a smallish Welsh village when I was early teens. If we wanted to visit the nearby towns the only option was bus or train. Our train station was a grassy verge at the side of the tracks. If you wanted the train to stop you had to flag it down by waving at the driver. The first time I used it I didn't really think the train would stop but it did.

cc Tue 18-Jun-24 14:12:47

pascal30

I think it's quite normal for parents to accompany their children for Uni Open days.. I certainly did with mine.. then they go off and do a tour with another student..

Having said that my own parents didn't accompany me when I went for Uni interviews.. many moons ago.

I'm afraid that I don't think that it is normal, young adults need to be left alone to get on with things.

Oopsadaisy1 Tue 18-Jun-24 14:01:13

We took our children to see potential Universities when they were 18, we were as interested as they were!

We took our GS as his Mum was unable to go, we enjoyed it as much as we did and he appreciated us being there with him.

As to various remarks about travelling on buses, try getting on a late night bus in Brixton or Hackney, you will soon change your minds about young adults getting a bus on their own.

Siope Tue 18-Jun-24 13:52:15

No idea. I remember travelling by bus and train to London (about 40 miles) for gigs when I was about 14 (and having my younger brother in tow and ditching him somewhere at the first opportunity). At 15 I was commuting to the City of London (so bus, train, walk) and mainly socialised in London, so would have been using the tube & buses.

I went alone to university open days and interviews: I was 32 at the time.

Millie22 Tue 18-Jun-24 13:49:28

I definitely wanted to go on the university open day with my son. It's a day for parents just as much as students.

JackyB Tue 18-Jun-24 13:43:07

We lived out in the sticks in rural East Anglia.. There may have been buses but they would have left from a stop in the village - almost as far to walk as going the other way into town. Cycling or walking into town would have been very risky as there were no pavements and the roads were very bendy. My Dad was away most of the week and Mum finally learnt to drive and got a little jalopy. She would pick us up from school if she was shopping, usually on a Tuesday, and sometimes we had a dentist appointment, so couldn't take the school bus.

A school bus did the round of the villages and picked up the Grammar and Secondary school kids. I am still a little apprehensive about using public buses even today as I'm not sure they'll really go where and when the timetable says..

I have no idea when I first started using trains but I don't remember it being an issue. Some of us from school would sometimes take the train in to Cambridge or Bury St Edmunds on a Saturday, probably aged about 15.

Nowadays I use public transport a lot, but the service here in Germany is deteriorating rapidly what with strikes, technical failures and staff shortages.

Grandma70s Tue 18-Jun-24 13:42:49

When we flew to Australia to visit my husband’s family, in the 1970s, there was a little girl of about ten who was travelling alone from London to Sydney.. Her father was some sort of diplomat. She liked to play with my year old son, and took him up to first class from time to time. (We were not travelling first class, but she was.) I was so glad of the break!

yogitree Tue 18-Jun-24 13:38:22

I was 11 and used to take "the wee 30" bus to the stables for a 20 minute journey. Usually my dad picked me up after he finished work. I felt very grown up being allowed to do so!

Llamedos13 Tue 18-Jun-24 13:25:33

At age ten I was getting on the bus from my house, a twenty minute ride all the way into Belfast city centre followed by a walk around the City Hall to catch another bus out to my school, another 10 minute ride. I could not imagine my 11 year old grandaughter being ever allowed to travel alone like this nowadays.

nanna8 Tue 18-Jun-24 13:21:01

We didn’t have a car so I went on buses and trains alone from about 8 years old. I do think it was safer then, though. Not so many violent armed thugs around for a start. We had the odd ‘incident’ but mostly just dirty old men flashing.

Witzend Tue 18-Jun-24 13:20:09

My first school was a good 3 miles away so from around 6 I went with my elder sister on the bus, but her hours were longer so I returned on my own.

On one occasion I missed the usual bus home (dawdling) and didn’t realise that there’d be another if I waited. So I walked home, dawdling again - and stopping to look in e.g. a pet shop I’d seen so often from the bus.

My poor mother was frantic! IIRC she’d even alerted the police!

annodomini Tue 18-Jun-24 13:19:48

I went home by bus after my weekly music lesson when I was 7 or 8. The buses which stopped at the end of our road were part of my uncle's company. Though that gave me no privileges, the conductresses (sic) knew who I was and kept an eye on me. Although my Dad had a car, we were never transported to school - walked or cycled there and back (about 1 km) and came home for lunch. If I wanted to go to shops in a nearby town, I went by bus.

keepingquiet Tue 18-Jun-24 13:17:48

Yes, I used public transport from a young age, so did my children but when they went to Uni I took them in the car because they had so much stuff to take. In the holidays they also had to vacate their rooms in halls and so the stuff had to be brought back too.

I don't think Op has much awareness of the reality of student life...