Stingy People

I think it’s unfair to lump everyone in together some of us are on lower wages or lower savings than others so I always pay my share but I can’t afford to subsidise
People having opinions like yours Ziggy don’t seem to realise that not everyone is at the same financial level as them

It’s always the people who eat and drink the most who want the bill spilt equally I am happy and able to pay for what I have had, not for what they ve had, and if we were at an expensive restaurant I d purposely pick something at the lower end of the menu so then don’t want their cavier added to my bill…. ta
Unless it s my family then I ll happily treat them if I can
BUT I m far from stingy

An older friend was getting married and I organised a hen party in a restaurant. In these circumstances it's normal (I think) for the rest of the group to share the cost of the "bride's" meal. Near the end of the evening, I went up to the counter to get the bill, to be told that one member of the group had already paid for her own meal- thus avoiding having to pay anything extra for "bride".

I have a rather stingy friend who conveniently forgets to pay for stuff. When we worked together I often went on a fish and chip run for lunch buying for those who wanted it on my card then they would pay me back in cash. Except this friend never had the right cash and so mumbled she would pay me back later, tho she never did. Now we are all retired a small group of us meet up every so often for coffee and cake on the understanding that we take it in turns paying for the whole group, works like a charm except for this friend who often texts when it is her turn with a migraine etc., but we are wise to it now so reassure her that it isn’t a problem she can do coffee and cake on her next time. Glad to say she has finally relented.

I loved reading all your comments. The amount of stingyness made me chuckle.
Hugs to you Whiff. It's nice when a comment brings back a good memory. xx
I have a neighbour in the flat below me she's on her own and seems to have chosen me as her go to for help. Although not very often I'm glad to say. A couple of years ago she asked me if she could get a landline and wanted an old fashioned phone with a dial. I told her they don't really make them anymore but she insisted. Anyway I had to phone BT and ask them but they needed to speak to her so she came up to our flat and spoke to the woman on the other end. What a performance because my neighbour insisted she didn't want broadband. Anyway I ended up getting her a very simple cordless phone from Amazon. I set it up for her and it was arranged for the engineer to come out and connect her. The next day she came to my door with the phone back in its box and said she didn't want it. She was worried about the amount of electricity it might use. I sent it back and she never asked me again.

I've always been happy to pay my share as long as it's my share, not everyone else's extras.
Over 35 years ago, when pregnant with my daughter, I accepted an evening meal date with a friend plus some of her friends who I didn't know that well.
I'd said before I wouldn't be drinking and could I just pay for what I'd had and my friend said, 'yes, she's spoken with the others and that was alright as I wasn't drinking alcohol'.
Different story when I arrived. There were about 20 of us and everyone else drank. They were astounded that I wasn't prepared to split the bill with them all. I suspect my friend hadn't even told them.
I wasn't asked again.

Daughter and kids went round to her best friends last week as the son was having a birthday.Daughter made a lovely dish and also bought M andS burgers and things for the BBQ. She spent quite a lot.
Going into the kitchen to help she caught her friend setting out packets of Lidl burgers which were on their date.
When she asked what these were for her friend was shameless and said they would do the kids and she was going to keep the M and S ones for the next day!

I once went out with a friend for lunch. I offered to pay. She said she'd take the cash up to the cashier. She did that AND kept my change!

Took a friend to a flower show. At the booth, I bought the tickets, not cheap. No offer to pay. In defence, the love of her life had just left her and she was upset.
I wasn’t allowed to look at any flower displays as I had to listen to her tale of woe (and it rained heavily…)

I don’t think it’s stingy at all to not want to split the bill equally if you have had considerably less or a much cheaper meal than someone else, because, otherwise you are, in effect, subsidising their meal. It’s altogether different if there’s not a lot between the cost of each meal, then it makes sense to split it equally.

The solution is to say at the outset what you intend to do, so that everyone is clear, or, at the time of ordering, request separate bills for everyone.

Years ago we went out for a curry with a couple we knew a bit, ( dds newish in laws) and were unexpectedly joined by about 10 of their friends none of whom we knew.

I had been ill so only had plain rice, dh had a bog standard curry. Neither of us drank anything other than tap water as we had a long motorway drive back. The rest of the group lived it up ordering masses of food, plenty of beer and wine was flowing. More turned up…hungry for curry etc. I just wanted to go home….

When the meal and jollities ended, bill was divided, our share was £80. We or rather Mr S didn’t like to make a fuss so we paid up. Our bill would have been about £10. Long time now but this thread has reminded me.

Nowadays it's easier to split bills and restaurants are used to it.
No longer does some poor soul have to make a spreadsheet.

I work/volunteer in a cafe once a week. I take their orders at the counter where they pay and find a table. Often people pay for their own but all sit together.
Everyone is happy then. 😊

When ordering I’d ask for my meal to be put on a separate check.

I am on my own with two couples drinking, my turn comes round every third time to pay for five drinks. I never say anything to them but I have discussed it with others and some say that each couple pay from one bank account therefore I pay very third round.

Babs03

I agree that splitting the bill equally is fine if everyone has roughly the same but if some guests order lobster or steak etc., and knock back glasses of wine, whilst others have salads and drink water for the table, there is bound to be a large discrepancy in what is owed at the end of the meal.
To avoid embarrassment it should be made clear from the outset what arrangement will be in place on the night. At my age I don’t pussy foot around this and will ask beforehand, and if is splitting at the end of the meal and I know there are at least a couple of culprits who will eat and drink the place dry, I say I can’t make it.
Am not stingy I just don’t have the money to pay extra for somebody else. Thankfully this rarely happens, have a few good friends and when we eat out we know the drill, we order roughly in the same price range and split at the end.

We do the same as you.
I don’t like mean stingy people either but have no time for freeloaders either.

We typically only have the quite rare meal out with family or for my husband's business - he pays. I'm inclined towards fairness, as BlueBelle.

I don't think it's stingy to not want to pay for other people's meals (with a few exceptions like family and close friends of course).

I went out with a group of colleagues after work a few times. The amount of alcohol alone some ordered was twice the price of my meal and glass of wine.

After I stopped going another colleague joked 'They must be missing you - the cost of their evening must have really gone up without you to subsidize them'.

If I’m out with friends and some are driving , so not drinking . We split the food bill between us and those who are drinking split the drinks bill. We’ve done this for years .
We had our honeymoon in Turkey in a tiny resort which was very popular with German tourists . The Turkish bar and restaurant owners were very bemused by splitting the bill or buying rounds as the German tourists paid individually for what they’d had.

Even when you inform folk beforehand that everyone has to pay individually you still get one who tries it on. At a lunch last year one lady hadn't paid her £10 deposit upfront. On the day when asked for £10, she said she had no cash. At the end of the meal she said she'd brought the wrong purse so couldn't pay. Another lady paid for her. I was told this year the lady who paid has never had her money back. The non payer is very wealthy and I believe has a reputation for being stingy.

kissngate

Even when you inform folk beforehand that everyone has to pay individually you still get one who tries it on. At a lunch last year one lady hadn't paid her £10 deposit upfront. On the day when asked for £10, she said she had no cash. At the end of the meal she said she'd brought the wrong purse so couldn't pay. Another lady paid for her. I was told this year the lady who paid has never had her money back. The non payer is very wealthy and I believe has a reputation for being stingy.

Now that is stingy!

kissngate
The non payer is very wealthy and I believe has a reputation for being stingy.

That’s probably how she got so wealthy.

I agree with easybee. In my experience, too, those who clamour for equal shares of the bill often rook the other diners. I remember one time when lunching with others I had one starter as I don’t really eat much for lunch. Others ( all the men) had three courses and bottles of wine. I was stung £25 for a tiny amount. Never again.

I’m sure that this is not what the OP meant but maybe she’s not aware of how voracious others can be when they think they can get away with it.

My DD has a friend who always ‘forgets’ her card and asks her to pay and says she’ll pay her back. She never does. The last time my poor DD was stung the other woman and her other half had a three course lunch and an expensive option for the baby. It cost £70 which the DD has asked for three times but which has not been paid back.

It’s taken a while for the DD to cotton on but she says, like the song, she ‘ won’t be fooled again.’

Some lovely stories here! Reminded me of a couple of exotic holidays I had with a girlfriend (husbands didn't want to go). On the first she said on landing "oh I've forgotten my cards - we can use yours and I'll pay you back...." She did and we had a lovely time. On the second holiday she ran out of cash at the end so said "can you lend me some to finish my souvenir shopping...." which I did. On returning home I send a note of exactly what she owed (as she had told me to do). After much haggling she finally paid me half of what she owed. Needless to say we have never been on holiday together again!

Ahh had to say to ‘Whiff’
…your husband sounded like a very sensible, kind man x

I do exactly this Ziplock. Makes sense and no nasty surprises for anyone.