Stingy People

Many years ago I got guilted into doing "bits" of shopping for a neighbour. I started out by helping her with her DLA form and then gradually got recruited into doing more and more. I had no car and my own shopping to carry. She knew that.

One day I brought her several items from the local Spar near the uni where I worked. She complained bitterly at the prices and it was all I could do to get my money back. She had a big lazy son living with her but he was "not good with shopping!.

Needless to say I refused to do any more shopping for her. Fortunately by then there was caller display so I just ignored her number when she rang me wanting something.

Since then I have never given my number or email address to a neighbour.

Wasn't there a saying "look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves?" I think some people stick religiously to this rule and get a thrill when they save a few pence on a tin of baked beans.

I know someone who will drive out of her way to Costco, several miles away, to save money on petrol.
Old habits die hard.

Never understand the mindset of only paying for exactly what you've eaten. I only eat out with friends and family and would happily indulge any of of them in a drink or whatever. What I do grudge is the way establishments now assume a tip and put it on the bill automatically

As a poor young married, I went out to dinner with the wives of DH’s colleagues. I picked modestly priced main and pudding and only drank water (which is what I could afford). The wife of one of the managers had three courses including lobster, and had quite a lot to drink. To my horror, the bill was then divided equally! I had to pay so much more than I could afford. I never went out with them again.
Since then, I have made sure that the bill is paid according to what you have consumed yourself.

When I go out for a meal on my own when I have the bill I always ask if the tip is included. If it's good service I pay it if I had bad service I take the tip off what I pay. Had to explain few times to managers why I would not pay full bill. If no tip included in the bill I give a tip if had good service .

When out with my daughter or a friend we take it in turn who pays the bill.

Many years ago when our children where young we where in the lake District and used the same restaurant for a couple of nights. Second night a group of hikers came in with muddy boots . When it came to the bill they tried to work out who had what . It was getting heated and the air blue with bad language. There where other families there. My husband went over and told them to be quiet grabbed the bill then asked the waiter to ask each person what they had and give them separate bills. He then told them to cough up £5 each for the mess they had made of the floor. They did and left quickly .

My husband was used to dealing with people in large numbers and problem solving . He did suggest that the manger put up a sign outside saying no muddy hiking boots allowed inside . My husband was a scout and venture scout leader and when out always made everyone clean any mud off there boots before entering a building . They carried extra water and paper towels for the purpose .

Not exactly what Moonwatcher started talking about but it jogged a memory of happy times with my husband and family . And his sense of fairness. Unfortunately he died 20 years ago aged 47 from cancer . But love the fact posts can give me back memories of I had forgotten.

Moonwatcher thank you .

Grandmatte I m with you all the way it’s fine for people who are well off to share a bill but if you haven’t got too much spare it’s unfair and it’s nothing to do with meanness or generosity

I remember going out with my then early twenties daughter and her friend, sister and their parents they chose an expensive restaurant there was two of us four of them when it came to the bill much to my horrow the father took it and divide it in half. They had had steaks, salmon and second courses with lots of alcohol whereas we had kept it very light choosing the cheapest thing on the menu no alcohol and no deserts. I was mortified and spent about a ‘weeks food’ on that meal

I have never got caught out since, I always pay for what I eat, (unless it’s with my children or grandchildren)
Luckily all the people I eat out with are in the habit of paying for what they have so it’s never been a problem since

My family were invited, along with other family members to a close relative’s significant birthday Party. Lunch in a local restaurant. Rather unexpectedly her son came round after the dessert for our part of the bill. There were a lot of astonished faces. Nothing had been said about that beforehand.

I had a friend who would always eat the likes of surf and turf etc and expect me to go halves whereas I would just eat a salad or something small (digestive issues). Hers would be £25 and mine £10. I started to take just the right amount of cash to cover mine and a tip. When I did not bail her out one day, she said 'How am I going to pay for this?' I said 'Use your debit card'. She reluctantly got it out and paid her share. People!

Problems arise when how the bill is paid is not agreed in advance! I have been in the position of not being able to afford to split AND of easily being able to afford to split. I have always asked in advance what the plans for the bill are and made a decision accordingly not attending a meal if I knew the bill was being split and I couldnt afford. Never had courage to actually say I couldnt afford it though!! Has made me very aware of others who I think are in that situation now when making arrange.ents though and ensuring restaurants chosen are not over the top.

I agree that splitting the bill equally is fine if everyone has roughly the same but if some guests order lobster or steak etc., and knock back glasses of wine, whilst others have salads and drink water for the table, there is bound to be a large discrepancy in what is owed at the end of the meal.
To avoid embarrassment it should be made clear from the outset what arrangement will be in place on the night. At my age I don’t pussy foot around this and will ask beforehand, and if is splitting at the end of the meal and I know there are at least a couple of culprits who will eat and drink the place dry, I say I can’t make it.
Am not stingy I just don’t have the money to pay extra for somebody else. Thankfully this rarely happens, have a few good friends and when we eat out we know the drill, we order roughly in the same price range and split at the end.

Years ago, we had a night out for the mum's in our Toddlers' group. It was a set menu and we had agreed to split the bill.
I was always in charge of the kitty, but when it was time to pay, I realised that someone one hadn't paid. I had a fair idea, who it was, but couldn't prove it.
We were all on a tight budget, but had to fork out the extra.

On another occasion I was in charge of the kitty for a staff night out. Everyone was being sensible, apart from a few who were drinking heavily. At the end of the night, they scarpered before the bill came.
It was £40 short, a lot of money in those days. Luckily, I had cash on me, which I had been given that night to add to the member of staff's leaving gift.
On the Monday morning, I marched into the staffroom and called out the culprits in front of everyone. Shamefacedly, they paid up!

@Marydoll
For a few years I was in charge of the kitty as well as organising the Xmas meal for a group of roughly thirty employees. Was an absolute nightmare. Firstly was chasing up people to pay the deposit, then someone didn’t pay for the meal on the night so everyone else had to fork out enough to cover it, was so stressful I never really enjoyed the occasion. I gave notice that I would no longer be doing to long faces and cries of ‘but you were so good at it’, unsurprisingly there was not a queue of volunteers to take over the task.

I think the title of this thread is misleading it’s nothing to do with being stingy but all to do with fairness and circumstances

The one thing that I really dislike about a close friend -is her appalling tightness .
Her other friends have made comments about it .
If we go out and I treat her she whips out her loyalty card to get the points .
Once in M and S she got her card out to benefit from my clothes purchase .
The sales assistant made a comment .

But what makes me sad is her habit of double billing me .
I keep records so I'll tell her that I've already paid .
She works full time and has another job which pays her a fabulous amount untaxed so she's certainly very comfortably off .
As she gets older and sadly grumpier she's becoming meaner and meaner with money .
It's like a disease .
I personally hate going out and find it embarrassing when the bill comes and the organiser gets out the calculator .
It's better to discuss it in advance .

I have a friend who really is stingy.
She loves it when people take her out for a meal which happens a lot as to be fair she doesn’t have the same income as some of us and she tells us this fact a lot.
I took her out for a meal a few weeks ago and my GD took us and picked us up so no taxi bills.
She actually offered to pay for a bottle of wine which is unusual, when the bill came , she asked how much the wine was, we were at a local pub so it wasn’t a premium bottle, I think it was £19, she complained bitterly how she could have bought the same bottle in the supermarket for £7.
I thought it was so wrong and petty, a 2 course meal, sirloin steak for her, G&T to start and transport provided but of course she didn’t have any money on her as usual but she did bring it to my house the following week.
It makes it difficult to want to do it again.

I always split the bill. Can't be doing with people who offer exactly the amount of money to cover what they have had to eat/drink.

A while ago we went out for lunch with another couple. At the end my husband paid for it by card and the other couple started to count out their cash.

It did not end there because they both counted out their quarter of the bill.

It was so embarrassing.

Took me some time to realise that those who clamoured loudest to share the bill equally were always those who had the most courses costing the most money and the most to drink. As the the cost of these shared meals rose I started checking all the prices which revealed that the more prudent (or hard up) were regularly subsidising those with expensive tastes and so suggested we paid our own bills, met with (almost) universal relief.
Equally, a friend and I used to organise, cook and serve a Christmas meal (turkey, puddings, mince pies) for a large group at work at £4 a head, and we were taken to task by one recipient who said we could have done it far more cheaply if we had shopped around, going to markets and farm shops etc . We actually had £14 37 surplus which we donated to The Salvation Army Christmas Appeal, and I was taken to task about that as well; I should have refunded 40p per person.

It depends who we are out with and what everyone has had. We always have a bottle of wine and if others have had no alcohol or less expensive drinks, we always pay a bit more.

Years ago I went round to a boyfriend's and we cooked a meal together. He told me off for throwing a match away when I'd used it once and said it could be lit again a few times in the gas flame to light another ring. 🤔
He proved to be parsimonious on subsequent dates so I decided he wasn't a keeper.

I hate the “split the bill” except with family.

In large staff outings, we look at the menu on line or in the staff room and sign up on a list which the organiser, takes with them as a reminder. The order is put in to the restaurant in advance. Then we pay the cost of our meal to the organiser.
Drinks are always bought on the night-you pay for what you order or some of us share the cost of a bottle.

Years ago on work meals the bill was split equally and we all paid for whoever the designated drivers were too.
Now, we only go out with friends we know well, the bill is split equally, or family, where again it’s split equally, unless we’re paying as a treat.

I'm amazed at the price of some drinks these days, especially cocktails. I must admit I do resent having to pay halves when people drink these and I just stick to my normal tonic water.

Dh’s old aunt used to get her long-suffering cleaning lady to do her shopping (no extra pay) and then berate her for not having got the butter at a different shop where it was 1p cheaper.

She had plenty of money! I used to call her Queen Midas.
We were once with her in a small local wool shop (she did loads of knitting) where she tried to get the assistant to knock 12.5 p off the total for a substantial amount of expensive Jaeger mohair.
The woman protested that she couldn’t, it wasn’t her shop, but Queen Midas persisted. It was very embarrassing.

She was so renowned for her screech of *’HOW MUCH?!!’ that at her funeral dh (who spoke) said there would have been the same screech if she’d known how much her funeral was costing. And everybody burst out laughing.
What a way to be remembered!