Stingy People

I had a friend who suggested whenever we went for a meal that we would take it in turns to pay, something I was happy to go along with - then on several occasions when it was her turn to pay she would "discover" she had left her purse and cards at home - so I would have to pay - this happened so often that I finally got fed up, told her I wouldn't let her take advantage of me anymore and I no longer see her

Another time I had a friend and her boyfriend stay with us for a couple of weeks. On the final night she insisted on taking us out for a meal - she chose the restaurant. When we got there she looked at the menu said very loudly "I'm not paying those prices". My husband ended up paying for the 4 of us (her boyfriend didn't say a word and as far as I recall never paid for anything!)

I remember being annoyed after a bossy woman who had joined our group arranged a lunch at the Chinese. She said it was a special 2 course for £10 which seemed good value so my friend and I chose from the menu and only drank water.However some in the group ordered from the main menu and had drinks and pudding. More fool us as of course the bossy one decided we should add a tip and then split the bill!

I had a friend (past tense!) that I used to frequently go on holiday with. She said to me one day after a meal in a restaurant, "you seem to tip everybody" to which I replied " yes, because you don't seem to tip anybody". She was so mean and had SO much money. She complained to me one day that her 'boyfriend' wasn't leaving her anything in his will !! He had family members of his own. As did she. So I asked her " Are you leaving him anything in your will then?" And she replied that she wasn't but fully expected him to cater for her. Beggars belief. Needless to say, we are no longer 'friends'.

grandMattie

As a poor young married, I went out to dinner with the wives of DH’s colleagues. I picked modestly priced main and pudding and only drank water (which is what I could afford). The wife of one of the managers had three courses including lobster, and had quite a lot to drink. To my horror, the bill was then divided equally! I had to pay so much more than I could afford. I never went out with them again.
Since then, I have made sure that the bill is paid according to what you have consumed yourself.

I had a very similar experience in my student days.

Since then, I always when asked out, or asking others out, discuss who is paying, and I have always refused to divide the entire bill by the number of diners, as I have no wish to dictate that others stick to the cheapest items on the menu, nor to pay a greater amount than I can afford.

I was in dire straights at a time with money. I was asked to go to a friend's birthday meal with lots of people I knew. I chose the cheapest meal, no starter, no drinks, no pudding. Nearing the end it was split the bill, equally by everyone. I couldn't do it, I didn't have enough. I quietly put my share to the next pound under my plate edge and left without saying goodbye. I was so embarrassed. Id really looked forward to this night out to cheer me up. Turned out the opposite. I wasn't being stingy

In the past used to go out with a large group of friends, one friend who was watching the pennies would get up and say I will go and pay for what I’ve had and then leave. This to me was fine as she didn’t have a lot of money, and didn’t drink,

Some years ago, I went with my mother to a restaurant to have lunch with mum's stepmother and sister, with whom she didn't get on too well. Both were known for being rich and mean.
When the bill came, they started arguing quite loudly about what was on the bill and who should pay it.
Guess who did pay the bill!

I don't mind sitting the bill if all involved are eating and drinking similar food etc, but I will, and do, disagree when the 'hogs get their noses deep in the trough' thinking the bill will be shared, then I stand my ground and just pay for what I have consumed! To me it is a form of cheating or even stealing to expect someone else to pay for your choices.

I may have told this before on another thread. Friend took ill on the way home so we missed our connecting flight to Belfast.Spent night in hospital then had. to get taxi to Heathrow next day. When we got home I asked for £30 for the taxi. She refused saying her holiday was paid all in before we left so she owed nothing!

I do exactly this Ziplock. Makes sense and no nasty surprises for anyone.

Ahh had to say to ‘Whiff’
…your husband sounded like a very sensible, kind man x

Some lovely stories here! Reminded me of a couple of exotic holidays I had with a girlfriend (husbands didn't want to go). On the first she said on landing "oh I've forgotten my cards - we can use yours and I'll pay you back...." She did and we had a lovely time. On the second holiday she ran out of cash at the end so said "can you lend me some to finish my souvenir shopping...." which I did. On returning home I send a note of exactly what she owed (as she had told me to do). After much haggling she finally paid me half of what she owed. Needless to say we have never been on holiday together again!

My DD has a friend who always ‘forgets’ her card and asks her to pay and says she’ll pay her back. She never does. The last time my poor DD was stung the other woman and her other half had a three course lunch and an expensive option for the baby. It cost £70 which the DD has asked for three times but which has not been paid back.

It’s taken a while for the DD to cotton on but she says, like the song, she ‘ won’t be fooled again.’

I agree with easybee. In my experience, too, those who clamour for equal shares of the bill often rook the other diners. I remember one time when lunching with others I had one starter as I don’t really eat much for lunch. Others ( all the men) had three courses and bottles of wine. I was stung £25 for a tiny amount. Never again.

I’m sure that this is not what the OP meant but maybe she’s not aware of how voracious others can be when they think they can get away with it.

kissngate
The non payer is very wealthy and I believe has a reputation for being stingy.

That’s probably how she got so wealthy.

kissngate

Even when you inform folk beforehand that everyone has to pay individually you still get one who tries it on. At a lunch last year one lady hadn't paid her £10 deposit upfront. On the day when asked for £10, she said she had no cash. At the end of the meal she said she'd brought the wrong purse so couldn't pay. Another lady paid for her. I was told this year the lady who paid has never had her money back. The non payer is very wealthy and I believe has a reputation for being stingy.

Now that is stingy!

Even when you inform folk beforehand that everyone has to pay individually you still get one who tries it on. At a lunch last year one lady hadn't paid her £10 deposit upfront. On the day when asked for £10, she said she had no cash. At the end of the meal she said she'd brought the wrong purse so couldn't pay. Another lady paid for her. I was told this year the lady who paid has never had her money back. The non payer is very wealthy and I believe has a reputation for being stingy.

If I’m out with friends and some are driving , so not drinking . We split the food bill between us and those who are drinking split the drinks bill. We’ve done this for years .
We had our honeymoon in Turkey in a tiny resort which was very popular with German tourists . The Turkish bar and restaurant owners were very bemused by splitting the bill or buying rounds as the German tourists paid individually for what they’d had.

I don't think it's stingy to not want to pay for other people's meals (with a few exceptions like family and close friends of course).

I went out with a group of colleagues after work a few times. The amount of alcohol alone some ordered was twice the price of my meal and glass of wine.

After I stopped going another colleague joked 'They must be missing you - the cost of their evening must have really gone up without you to subsidize them'.

We typically only have the quite rare meal out with family or for my husband's business - he pays. I'm inclined towards fairness, as BlueBelle.

Babs03

I agree that splitting the bill equally is fine if everyone has roughly the same but if some guests order lobster or steak etc., and knock back glasses of wine, whilst others have salads and drink water for the table, there is bound to be a large discrepancy in what is owed at the end of the meal.
To avoid embarrassment it should be made clear from the outset what arrangement will be in place on the night. At my age I don’t pussy foot around this and will ask beforehand, and if is splitting at the end of the meal and I know there are at least a couple of culprits who will eat and drink the place dry, I say I can’t make it.
Am not stingy I just don’t have the money to pay extra for somebody else. Thankfully this rarely happens, have a few good friends and when we eat out we know the drill, we order roughly in the same price range and split at the end.

We do the same as you.
I don’t like mean stingy people either but have no time for freeloaders either.

I am on my own with two couples drinking, my turn comes round every third time to pay for five drinks. I never say anything to them but I have discussed it with others and some say that each couple pay from one bank account therefore I pay very third round.

When ordering I’d ask for my meal to be put on a separate check.

Nowadays it's easier to split bills and restaurants are used to it.
No longer does some poor soul have to make a spreadsheet.

I work/volunteer in a cafe once a week. I take their orders at the counter where they pay and find a table. Often people pay for their own but all sit together.
Everyone is happy then. 😊

Years ago we went out for a curry with a couple we knew a bit, ( dds newish in laws) and were unexpectedly joined by about 10 of their friends none of whom we knew.

I had been ill so only had plain rice, dh had a bog standard curry. Neither of us drank anything other than tap water as we had a long motorway drive back. The rest of the group lived it up ordering masses of food, plenty of beer and wine was flowing. More turned up…hungry for curry etc. I just wanted to go home….

When the meal and jollities ended, bill was divided, our share was £80. We or rather Mr S didn’t like to make a fuss so we paid up. Our bill would have been about £10. Long time now but this thread has reminded me.