Feeling betrayed by name change

The child has your name so be happy. This is not really about the name though. I'm guessing you feel put out about other things to do with the other grandparents. Watch out.. we often imagine the grass is greener when in fact they very green where we are standing 💚

ordinarygirl

what name will the child be referred to ? i had a friend who was always known by her middle name . Look at Prince Harry - real name Henry. People will change names over their lifetime so don't worry . What is more important is the relationship between you

Harry is a diminutive of Henry, not a different name though.

Many people are known by shortened versions of their names although I seems that many children are being registered with the diminutive form now eg Evie, Rosie, Archie, Fred

I’d be gutted too but hope I’d hide it really well from everyone - nothing to be gained I’m afraid.

Do you say something? No. Their baby, their choice.

I'm sorry you feel hurt.

My new baby great grandaughter has just been given my second name as her second name and I am thrilled. It wouldn’t matter to me where it came in the listing so why not just be pleased they have chosen it I would 🩷

My mother's choice of names for me would have given me the initials JAP as a child. She decided it was unwise so soon after the war, so I didn't get the middle name. There is much to consider in choosing a child's name. My brother has always been known by his middle name - and hates his first name - because the combination flows better that way. My DD's names have no family connection and my DS's middle name has family connections as it is the name of one of my cousins and my uncle, but wasn't chosen for that reason - I simply like the name! Sadly he hates it!
My GD has the middle name of DiL's Granny. She is a lovely lady and if she is named after her I am not jealous in any way. In fact I wanted the children to call me 'Granny' like her as I like her so much. I was concerned that the other Granny might want the same title but my DS said that was OK as we could be Granny C... and Granny H.... My GS started calling me 'Granny B...' my DD's name as he associates us together! The other GPs are 'Granny and Mac' - name he calls his granddad - we've no idea why! Thankfully we all get on well and I don't think we are competitive about these things. I love the way my GS finds his own way to address things and wonder what my GD will call me when she starts to talk! GS is addressed by the shortened form of his first name and is very indignant if I use his full name - 'I not Zebedee, I Zeb!' As far as he is concerned that is his identity.

OH has a very old unusual and lovely name- and I would hve loved for one grandson to have it included. And I also feel my mum's name is lovely, and would have suited our grand-daughter so well. But it wasn't to be- and that is truly none of our business.

It’s best to try not to take the change in name order personally. ( hard I know). There’s probably a practical reason such as the flow of the name or what the initials might spell the original way around, or simply that as they get to know their baby the name seems to fit her better that way around.

what name will the child be referred to ? i had a friend who was always known by her middle name . Look at Prince Harry - real name Henry. People will change names over their lifetime so don't worry . What is more important is the relationship between you

Life’s too short to worry about such things, enjoy your new grandchild, they have had a change of mind so what. The fact you babysit doesn’t really come in to it, I’m assuming you do it for love not kudos

😊 if you do ask her why maybe say it casual cool without emotion 😊it's just a question

Hi Bernadette totally understand where you are coming from but don’t let it turn into a big deal. Why don’t you have a chat with dd and ask her why she changed it around? Could just be she thought it sounded better that way or maybe she was being hounded by the other grandma. She may be intending to use your name anyway - my mil was known by her second name as her first name was the same as her mother’s.

Whatever the reply just accept it and put it to bed. If you have a fit and healthy grandchild be grateful.

Chill out - your name is there. Probably just sounds better. If that’s all you have to worry about, life is good!

It's hard enough trying to agree on names for new babies without grandmothers getting upset too.

I didn't finally choose the name I really wanted for DC3 because MIL made a cutting remark about it when I told her.

My cousin gave their youngest baby both grandmothers' names as middle names. As it happens, the mother's (very old fashioned) name came first followed by the Mother-in-law's (equally old fashioned) name for no reason of status but, I think, that they flowed better that way round. Think along the lines of Millicent Jean rather than Jean Millicent. I am sure that this is a similar reason to your daughter. It is not worth getting upset about. In any case, it is not uncommon to use the middle name as a first name. The most important thing is that you have a beautiful baby granddaughter to love. Congratulations on becoming a grandmother.

You have every right to feel hurt,I would but don't fall out about it you have a lovely family and that's precious x

Buttonjugs

I can't imagine anyone using a grandparents name as a first name for a child. I am imagining names that were used in the 50s - 70s. Tracy, Denise,Kevin, Darren... Susan, Darren... the list goes on!

Well, Elsie, Mabel, Florence, Lily, Evie, Ava, Amelia, Maisie etc and Wilfred, Alfie, Henry, Arthur, Albert, Frank, Harold, Frederick etc are all very popular names now.

So perhaps it won't be long before Patricia, Susan, Margaret, Linda, Valerie, Angela, Christine, Christopher, Derek, Graham, Anthony, David, Richard and Gary start appearing on the school registers.

😃

Feeling guilty now that I didn't pick MIL's name for one of my DD but she only had one name and I wasn't keen on it.
That's made a comeback too.

eazybee

What a fuss about nothing.

Agree 100%

Humiliated

Are you serious? Humiliated, really?

That’s hilarious.

None of my grandchildren are named after either me or my my parents, although the in-laws’ names are the middle names - even my daughter who was very close to my mother, did not name her daughter after my mother. Mind you, my parents’ names are very old fashioned , but it didn’t stop me from being hurt.
Bernadette you should be pleased, they have chosen your name as the middle name.

Our DD2 was named for her two grandmothers following our choice of first name. The order of which was because they flowed better. On being told of the names, one of the two grans (they always had a slight amount of competitiveness), promptly said to the other ‘see, they put my name first’. Cue much laughter all round. The story is still told today even though the baby is now in here 40’s.

Don't be difficult. Be happy they've given the child your name. It doesn't matter what order the names are.

Here here Undines

Oh, I’ve just noticed that your gran thought the relative would die, PamQS. Mine thought it would bring bad luck to the baby.

My gran was very superstitious, and believed if a child was named after a relative, the relative would die

Yes, PamQS, my grandmother always said the same. So she wasn’t happy when I was named after her, but I’ve beaten the odds so far. 😂

I’d have been delighted and honoured to have had a grandchild named for me, OP, whether with a first or second name. Unfortunately not one of my gaggle of grandsons looked like a Maggie .

I can't imagine anyone using a grandparents name as a first name for a child. I am imagining names that were used in the 50s - 70s. Tracy, Denise,Kevin, Darren... Susan, Darren... the list goes on!