Feeling betrayed by name change

Hand trembled. Parents are allowed to name their children whatever they want it's their choice . Grandparents have no rights and rightly so.

What I think is weird is if close members of the family have the same first name . It confusing . I have a friend her first name is the same as her mom's . When here mom was alive and my friend lived at home if you rang up you where asked do you want to speak to M senior or junior. Ridiculous.

It boils down to parents choice. And does it matter. OP do you love your daughter and grandchildren? If so then that's the important thing . Stop being precious about your name . And be glad you are part of their lives.

Don't worry about it.

Maybe they forgot, maybe there was a printing mistake. Maybe there was a change of heart. The child is their own new person with their own future. Be grateful for what you have and focus your disappointment on doing something positive for the future rather than being 'offended'.

Parents are allowed to name their childr

That's sad for you Bernadette if you were expecting your name 2nd and it's now 3rd. But at least it's there.
I would want to find out why the SIL runs upstairs and doesn't come down. Strange behaviour unless there is a reason for it. Not so strange behaviour is for him to want to do something with the son while he is not working.
Have you asked your DD why he does that?

You know, I always hoped that my kids would have kids and I’d be wise enough by that time to enjoy life and count my blessings.

mabon1 there are no words. So sorry for you and your daughter 😓

You would feel upset if your daughter had cancer, weighed under five stone, was in constant pain and will possibly not see the month out. Get a grip.

How about the child’s feelings? Would you have liked going through life with Mildred or Ethel or Wendy among your string of names just because your grandparents did?

Please don't say anything. No good will come of it. Ultimately, their child, their choice. No one is entitled to have another couple's child named after them. Either way they are honoring you. Be thankful.

I deliberately didn't name my daughter after anyone in the family. Later I kind of wished I had but not doing so avoids offending anyone. They might be offended if they're hyper-sensitive but at least they wouldn't feel left out if the person the child was named after wasn't them. I was given a family name which is unusual and hard to spell and wanted to spare my daughter that, especially as we have an unusual surname. My granddaughter was given a name my daughter likes as a first name and her late paternal great-grandmother's name as a middle name and we're fine with that.

It’s disappointing, and I can see it would have been nicer if your daughter had told you and explained why, but in your place I wouldn’t say anything. (Maybe later if the topic comes up naturally you could ask why it was.)

Probably just flowed better. You could just ask them tactfully by asking just that. Neither my sister nor I had second names as my mum thought pretentious! When had mine gave them second names but not from the family. Not worth falling out over. You could always call her by both names if it sounds OK. My aunt did that with one of mine. Sounded weird to me but she obviously liked it.

I think it's completely out of order your son in law hides from you. Do you know why? Is he neuro diverse?

Quite right. If her daughter was dying of cancer and in pain all day then she would have something to moan about, what's the matter with these people who complain about the least thing?

Elrel my daughters 3 have middle names from my late Dad ,my great granny and my first daughter who only lived 4 days.My lovely dad only had daughters but there are now12 members of the family who have his name as a first or middle name.He would be amazed.My son was called after two GGf,s and we use. His middle name and have since he was born…I promised my OH,s granny that’s what we would call a boy if/when we had. I wouldn,t have called. Him after either. Of his Gf,s Iwas born a diplomat my MIL said

Yes it runs deeper than the name really. I carnt go into everything but we are not wanted. The odd time we go round her husband runs upstairs and the half hour we stay to say hello to the children he doesn’t come down. Also when we’ve asked to take the older child out he says no as he wants to do something with him. But we can have the children when they work.

Bernadette My first GD was named after me, after her first name [which I choice along with my D]. So, her first name, then my first name & my surname. I only have one first name, so same as me, just added first name in front.

My D & GD lived with me, so we were very close, even so, I was very surprised and pleased when my D came back from registering the birth and told me her choice, we hadn't discussed this before.

After this my D meet her future H, had another child and moved into their own home. After about 2yrs he got his wish and we [all the family] were cut out of their lives. I learnt that my beloved GD's name had been changed to have his grandmothers name and his last name, where mine once were. He is her step-dad. They even changed her birth certificate. Yes, illegal to do this, but they did.

Didn't think my heart could be broken anymore, but more it did. I still have her original birth certificate and other documents, stating her original name. One day she will learn who she really is.

I think it’s her baby and her choice. Just enjoy the baby and try to put aside your hurt. Don’t let it come between you.

I’m maternal gran and share my first name with the paternal gran. Our name dates our births to late 1940’s, early 1950’s. I learned to embrace my name as an adult when I realised my parents gave it to me because they loved me. Given the choice I’d have preferred my maternal gran’s name. My parents saw her name as old fashioned, so chose a modern name for me.

When our first grandaughter was born, the 6th grandchild for me, her daddy wanted to use her two grandmothers first name as her second/middle name. My daughter put her foot down, no offence, she said , I love you both but don’t like your name.

No offence taken. We grannies both too smitten with that baby to give a fig

Two of my cousins gave our grandmother’s second name to their daughters as a first name, they just both liked both Granny and the name. Another cousin had no choice of middle for any of her children. Her MiL insisted on all the girls having her first name as a middle, even though some were sisters. As for all the boys - not FiL’s name but the nearest sounding boy’s name to MiL’s first name!! I don’t think this edict has been passed down to the next generation!!

paddyann54
Astonishingly similar with my 3 DGDs, first had as middle name one from her mum’s family, second had her maternal grandmother's name as middle name. I was quite content with this. Third DGD’s mum wanted for her first name an abbreviation of my name which I really disliked. Happily after tactful and friendly discussion she had my full name as her middle name. I admit to being surprised and touched by this. For her first name she has a Victorian name which was later discovered to have been the name of a great great grandmother who was a variety hall dancer many years ago!

You need to give your head a wobble!

Like Undine, I'm also "gobsmacked by the lack of empathy" from some people. Gosh, do you belittle your children or grandchildren when they state their disappointments?

It’s difficult, but let it go. One DGD was given MIL’s and other grandma’s name but not mine.
I have a close relationship with her, which is all that matters.