How good are you at sorting out your life's belongings and how do you decide what to throw away?

I had a peripatetic childhood. My father was in the army. At the age of 21 I calculated that I had had one permanent address for every year of my life, and that the contents of my boarding school trunk apart, everything I possessed would fit into a very small box.

As a result, I am not a hoarder, not that I am a minimalist either, but I can say that I have never been a loft-storer. Christmas decorations and suitcases apart, nothing goes into the loft. It goes out.

Other than our loft almost everyroom has drawers or cupboard shelves that are empty - however we do have a large 4 b4droomed house, so we do have qquite lot of furniture.

Our main problem is books. They say 'books do furnish a room' and in our house virtually every room is so furnished.

Our house is on the market and we are planning to downsize, but not excessively and what I am doing is sorting one room a week. First I go through the contents of every cupboard and drawer and decide what to keep and what to go. I am actually finding that fairly easy. I just consider what I am likely to use in our new abode, allow for a few things kept for sentimental reasons, or because I know other family members want them - then everything else goes out. I then make a provisional list of furniture to go, the final decision will depend on the house we buy.

The biggest hurdle will be the books in the living room - and we have started on that and it is proving remarkably easy. Most novels are now on our kindles and poetry. I have already built a large anthology on line of poems I love and I am only keeping poetry books if they are collections that I browse through quite regularly.

The problems will arise in our study, where DH and I have large academic collections of books and deciding what to go and keep when most contain information not readily accessible online will be a problem.

Granmarderby10

…hmmm, now books are another thing though🥲

Second hand book shops? We have two and all read books get passed to friends first then donated to the book shops.

There’s a great app for getting rid of those books - Ziffit - you scan the isbn, they’ll inform you if they want it and the amount they’ll pay. Some books are worth more than others, but once you’ve scanned your books you just box them up and they’re collected for free.
Keep zapping the books they initially rejected as often they’ll take them a week or so later!

Give the grown kids their baby stuff ! Why should you have to keep it all taking up space…
Maybe keep one pair of shoes or special item?

I’m definitely trying to embrace the Swedish concept of death cleaning as I know our children will not want our (mine really!) junk. The items we have in our home are our memories not theirs so I know if I don’t dump stuff they’ll hire their own skip.

We cleared out a lot when we downsized 11 years ago, but kept far too much. I have spent the past 12 months getting rid of DH’s stuff. Everything that is saleable has been sold, a lot has been given away, but I am taking an August break from the task.
Meanwhile there’s my stuff! I am currently going through old teaching materials, now that the youngest grandchild has done his GCSEs, but I still find it hard.
I think I must make myself a weekly timetable, and stick to it, as I have lots of stuff to sort, filing cabinets to go through, photos and family history to sort.
I know my children won’t want the job, but they may want the family photosand may need some of the financial paperwork, so onward and upward!

I'm not too bad with hoarding. I do have a couple of teddies from when the sons were little.
We have some of their toys and games as well,but the grandaughters have played with those.
Now, great grandchildren are joining the family, so all the toys will eventually be played with again.
Now, when it comes to photos, ican't face them, there are so many.

I'm terrible, I start off with good intentions, then I come across old cards ,I sit and look through them, old photos same thing. next thing it's time to make the dinner, so it's put off till another day..

I so wish I was a chuckaouter I’m trying to be. Getting their slowly but live in big house and I do think the bigger the house the more you fill it, that’s my excuse anyway. Nothing in the loft now but still lots in wardrobes draws etc. I will get there and must admit I’m enjoying it but I have to go slow if I try and hurry then I’m liable to throw things that I really shouldn’t. Some days I think right the lot can go depending on my mood lol. I must say it is very therapeutic as the space clears

I have box loads of photos. Is it possible to take a photo of a photo and other items on my mobile and transfer it to a laptop?

We have done a car boot sale every year for the last 10 years, apart from Covid.

I have sold stuff inherited from my mum which I couldn’t get rid of initially, but my heart has hardened over time, and I don’t regret it. Ornaments, bric a brac, garage stuff….
Plus lots of our own items.

Things still in the loft that I won’t part with, although useless….

My Bunty annuals.
My Petticoat magazines ( 2-3 years worth).
Certain childhood books, Famous Five, school or anniversary prizes.
My wedding dress.
My wedding ‘lucky’ tokens.
A few of my childhood toys, battered, scruffy, but still loved and remembered.
My dolls house.
Plus certain other ‘stuff’.

Can you recognise a pattern here?

I'm a ruthless chucker out but my husband is a hoarder. This is the main source of disputes in our house. Why would you want to keep a label from a new shirt because it was unusual for instance.
I read a great number of books but pass them on to the library where I am a volunteer. I run the library and am inundated with books people don't want to get rid of themselves but are returning to UK and don't want to take them. Usually the books are foxed, dog eared and old, totally unsuitable for the library. My husband ends up taking them for recycling.

maddyone

Oh Jane, I know exactly what you mean. I have a hoarder husband, but at the same time I have so many things that bring back memories that I can’t let go of. Our house is stuffed, but very tidy, it’s when you look inside the cupboards and drawers. I’ve been doing some limited sorting, getting rid of stuff we bought for the grandchildren when they were babies. We’ve still got high chairs, travel cots, baby gym and toys. Ridiculous, the youngest grandchild is now seven. Hardly going to need a baby gym or a travel cot when he comes to stay for four weeks over Christmas is he? (He’s living in New Zealand at the moment.)

Same here. I get very twitchy if the house is untidy and am always picking up DH's trail and putting them where they should be. We still have far too many of our adult children's belongings in the loft, but at least out of sight is out of mind. We moved house last year and I sorted out what I wanted to keep and getting rid of anything else. I kept on cajoling DH to sort through his things, but he was not able to. In any case, his idea of sorting out is to move things from one pile to another; a phenomenon known as churning and one which is almost universal among hoarders. When we arrived at the new house, l ended up sorting all the superfluous items, as well as getting the house ready as I wanted it. The charity shops benefitted greatly and DH had to make several journeys to the tip.
@JaneJudge, I understand how children's art work can hold sentimental value, but if they themselves don't want it, perhaps you could take photos to remind you. I still had a few baby clothes and shoes and the most beautiful two shawls, hand knitted by my grandmother. I had a couple of children's chairs and put them in our bedroom with the shawls draped over them. On one chair, I put my ancient childhood teddy bear and a few other furry companions. On the other, l put a doll dressed in some of the baby clothes. I still have all three pairs of first shoes.

Just this last week I've been decluttering a cupboard at a time. I've thrown away nearly all the playgroup paintings,, school books and crafts, just leaving some for the child that did them to look at. If they then don't want it - out it goes! One child has already done that and everything went in the bin. He said he's managed without it for 40 years (yes all my 'kids' are in their 40s/50s) so he doesn't think he'll miss it now. I had a slight pang when the binmen took it away, but now I feel relieved that it's a little less for the family to sort through when I die. I will do every cupboard as and when I have the energy. I won't be throwing away my doll though - she's 65 now and it'd be like throwing my own child out the door. Good luck with your clearing out.

I'm hopeless! My head is full of what needs to go but I can't bring myself to actually do it! It's all made worse by having much of my DD's stuff in my house as she moved to Dubai with just a couple of suitcases, a handbag and a small rucksack. The rest is in my house along with the usual childhood stuff from both offspring in the loft!
She is visiting in September and I hope she may help me reduce the childhood stuff at least and help me get some of my own junk from the loft so I can deal with that. I can't safely do that alone. I'm sure there is plenty up there that can go fairly painlessly if I could access it!
Sentimental stuff is the hardest but I'm mentally preparing to get rid of some of my mum's old stuff as I'll never use it.

I've been watching the Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning on U. The three Swedish “death cleaners” have some great tips.

Things that are precious that you want to pass down to someone are nicely boxed with an appropriate explanation and gifted to the person now. Things that properly belong to someone else are given back to them. One idea I really liked was having a “Just for You” box in which you can keep all those 'useless' things that have a sentimental value or bring back a particular memory - you are limited to the size of the smallish box so keep only the most precious items.

Thank you for all your input. I've not done as much today as I was finding it too upsetting. I think I have some deep rooted issues with this. I most probably need to see a therapist

The scrapbook idea is a good one. I think like lots of you have said, it is most probably me more than the children that thinks i need to keep hold of things. I must carry on.

I watched that too Beverley, looking for inspiration.

Keep what is most special. Instead of keeping all their baby clothes, I selected a faourite newborn outfit from each child.

Recently I let go of a lot of stuff, including their special teddies. It hurt me to do it, but they don't care, so I can't hold onto these things.

I have school books and stuff they'll probably never want. My Mother kept mine 40 years and I didn't want them either, to be honest. I should carry on being ruthless.

Im sure mine will never want these things.

Having had to clear my parents house out a few years ago, I said I wouldn’t let my house be left like that for my sons to sort out. In fact I told them about the few things that need to be kept in the family - the rest can go. I now have a house full of stuff passed onto us by various relations 🙄. I need to start being ruthless any day now …… 🤣

I kept boxes for both my children with cards, paintings, photo's etc. When my DD was 21 I gave her box to her - she was really pleased and loved looking through it. It now lives at her house. When my DS was 21 I gave his box to him - he had a quick look through and said I could throw it all away! . Best to ask your children if they want their 'memory boxes' and, if not, throw them away without looking at them. If they don't want them now they never will.

JaneJudge

Thank you for all your input. I've not done as much today as I was finding it too upsetting. I think I have some deep rooted issues with this. I most probably need to see a therapist

The scrapbook idea is a good one. I think like lots of you have said, it is most probably me more than the children that thinks i need to keep hold of things. I must carry on.

The scrapbook idea is a good one

You have to do it, though, not just take it off a top shelf annually, open it, sigh, then shove it back unstarted for 20 years.

I’m a chucker outer . My mother is a hoarder, doesn’t throw anything out . Clearing her house when she downsized was a nightmare.
I have regular decluttering sessions .
But my AC still have their bedrooms as they haven’t got their own places and rent . My DD blitzed her room at Christmas. DS still has loads of books and videos games , plus school and uni stuff .
With my mums house , we did a room at a time and had 3 piles , chuck , keep and maybes

I'm not good at discarding.

I'm trying to discard - we don't want our children to be burdened by stuff as we've been. Our home will still be here, standing as it has been through generations of family - with maybe less stuff.

I struggled with getting rid of stuff but then discovered selling sites such as Vinted, I now advertise my items, not necessarily for a huge amount and treat us to something with the proceeds. We still have 2 young adults living at home so the money is useful and it encourages them to clear their clutter too.