My oldest friend, who lives 150 miles away, is now 95, very immobile, going blind with macular disease and in denial! She struggles to cope with no outside help. Her home is absolutely filthy and the stench is sickening. I visited her recently and was appalled at her living conditions. Her only relatives, a neice and nephew from different sides of the family, are extremely concerned for her welfare, but she refuses all offers of help, to the point of being very rude and offensive. We are now dealing with this through local Social Services, although so far she is reluctant to co-operate as she really cannot accept the need, but with our joint efforts we are hopeful of progress. The major problem I have is she has had indoor cats all her life. Her last pet died last May and she is absolutely bereft, lonely, sad and desperate for another pet. Her last two have come from a local rescue centre, where she is well known (she regularly sends them very generous donations!); However because , she can no longer clean the litter trays, her last pet took to poo- ing and peeing where it pleased , hence the dreadful smell now. In addition, because she does not have a vacuum cleaner that works properly, there was loose cat litter everywhere, on the carpets from the front door all through the house, and all over her kitchen worktops!!! It is four months since her last cat died and her lounge carpet is still damp with urine! I feel it would be extremely unfair to introduce another cat into this environment and I have told her so, but she is insistent on pursuing her quest for another feline companion! Should I contact the rescue centre concerned and make them aware of the conditions? As she has had her last two pets from them, they do not conduct their usual inspection because, as I said earlier, she is well known to them over the years! What would you do under these circumstances? What is most important, animal welfare or my friends selfish desire for feline companionship?
Sounds as if this lady requires some therapy to overcome her immediate problems, one being that she lives in a filthy home which is also detrimental to her felines.
I agree that she requires a sensible social worker or therapist.
She should not be able to adopt anymore animals in the given situation. This is animal abuse.
What In would do is get the house clean, and take it from there.
I can't imagine that a carer, especially a live in carer would tolerate these conditions. cat peed on carpets are a dreadful smell.. Your friend really needs a proper Social Services assessment.. it is neglect by not doing that..
If you could find a lovely care home which would allow her to have a cat that could be proposed to her.. though by the sound of it I doubt she would agree. but certainly tell the local cat trust what the living conditions for a cat would be at the moment..
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Septimia
Whoops, MissInterpreted, I managed to miss that despite reading through the discussion. Thanks for pointing it out.
I've saw litter robot Septima but not robotic cat so you aren't alone in missing it. I looked again to see if someone had posted a link by any chance but still cant find it. If realistic enough, I know someone with dementia who might benefit from a robot cat.. I'll have a Google, thanks for the suggestion. 👍
Maybe she's worried she won't be able to have a pet if she goes into a home, but some do accept a pet!
There is also sheltered housing where she'll have her own abode and get daily visits from staff to make sure she is alright, and she could have a home care/cleaner person going in. She could have a cat there.
Please look at these options for her!
She's obviously oblivious to the stench in her home and the urine could be causing the floors to rot. They'll certainly be causing the carpets to rot!! I'm surprised the neighbours and her relatives aren't complaining of the smells!!
Does she own the house or rent it?
If she rents she could be forced into moving by a disgruntled landlord, in which case giving her little time to move and she could also be charged for the damage caused to the house!!
Sadly, any cat that comes into a home where other cats have urinated all over the place, will possibly do the same even if the best litter box is available. The carpet would have to be lifted and discarded. The floor underneath is likely saturated with the cat urine. Very difficult to eradicate the smell. Cats are sensitive to such smells, and will not be comfortable living under such circumstances.
95 years is a grand age to be living alone with no outside help, such as a carer and cleaning services. Very difficult for your friend to admit that she needs help.
Could you get a live-in carer and tell your friend that she is also helping as the carer is a starving college student and it would beneficial to both ?
Then see if there is someone taking a course in homecare that needs a place to live for awhile. Your friend might find she likes having a housemate.
Whoops, MissInterpreted, I managed to miss that despite reading through the discussion. Thanks for pointing it out.
Based on her present age, the animal welfare should feel compelled to do a new home check. Just because she has given generous donations in the past should not exempt them from this important step before any adoption. Circumstances have changed, and the welfare must be made aware of that.
Sad as it is, if the person cannot look herself, then she should not be allowed to have another cat, no matter what age it is. Having problems with her eyesight means she probably does not even see the dirt.
Social Services simply has to be involved in this asap.
I wonder if someone from the cat rescue place could visit, and lay it on the line, that they will not put a cat into that environment?
Some care homes have cats. Could that be the carrot that gets her the help she so obviously needs as well as the love and, affection of a furry friend ... and surreptitiously, other friends too!
I for one, hope she will get a lovely kitty
This is about enabling your friend to look after a cat rather than trying to deny her the pleasure.
There are self cleaning cat litters where the tray only needs changing once a week which then can be done by a carer. The trays are made up of crystals and when you have a special cat litter mat underneath there shouldn't be much of a mess made - though ever so often a crystal might get stuck in a cat paw, but should not be the same amount using normal cat litter. There are plenty of interactive cat games from laser beams to a ball in a maze to keep a cat active without your friend needing to be active too. For dry food there are self filling feeders that last us a whole week and again could be refilled by a carer once a week.
There a water fountains to drink from, again, only needing to be cleaned and refilled once a week.
You can tell your friend she needs to have a cleaning crew come through before getting a new cat. The previous smells need to be removed otherwise a new cat would soil on the same spots to cover up old pee smell. Could serve as a good excuse to have the place cleaned and tidied up without her feeling it as an intrusion.
* Bluesmum*, you say she’s still sharp witted. Treat her like the compos mentis adult she is and have a firm discussions. Perhaps fib a bit? e.g.
“The cat rescue people want to do a home check since it’s been a while, it’s their policy. And you and I both know it’s untidy and grubby in here. Let’s agree to that and get it cleaned. Perhaps then you’ll be able to rehome an elderly cat.”
Worth a try?
Septimia
How about getting her one of those robotic cats for company? They're expensive but they don't make any mess that needs clearing up.
Someone already suggested that on the first page of this thread, but the OP didn't think it would be acceptable to her friend.
How about getting her one of those robotic cats for company? They're expensive but they don't make any mess that needs clearing up.
She probably can’t smell her house,she’ll have got used to it.Id imagine the carpets need to to come out to get rid of that.Might it also be worth saying to her that she could easily trip up over a cat and break her hip the who’d look after it?
People in very sound minds live in squalor.
She may be sharp but is not really of sound mind if she lives in squalor. In other words some mental illness has occurred. Best thing you can do for your friend is ask for help via the GP.
The cats come first. As an animal rescuer the well being of any animal comes first. If she's happy living like that then so be it. The RSPCA might attend unfortunately they di not have tge powers to remove animals, only the police can do that. They may try talking to her but if they believe the cats are suffering they will ask the police to attend. Or she could sign the cats over to the RSPCA in which case they can remove them. After seeing , over the years, suffering of domestic pets I hold little sympathy with owners, regardless of age, mentality etc, whi neglect their animals.
I am 73 and have two house cats. I know that when they pass I will have to live with the fact that I cannot get anymore. That said my two may still have 10 years in them. That goes for our dog as well. She has a few years in her yet.
Surely the rescue centre must be aware that this lady is old?
You say, she has supported them for years.
If they are willing to disregard their own rules about inspecting homes before letting people have a cat, I am afraid you will need to drop them a hint. Or her niece and nephew will.
This poor old lady cannot look after herself, and should certainly not be taking on a pet that she will not be able to care properly for.
Drop a hint to the rescue centre, and re-doubled your efforts to persuade your friend to accept help or move into sheltered accommodation, and do everything you can to hurry social services up, as well.
From your description things have long passed the stage whee your friend should have been faced with an ultimatium - accept what help you can get, or move into a care home.
Have you and her relatives discussed either giving up a week-end to spring cleaning your friend's home, or to taking her out for the day, leaving a professional cleaning company to tackle the mess?
I was thinking that leaving everything else aside, if this lady is struggling with mobility, surely having a cat who might leap about etc is actually dangerous for HER, ie she could fall over him/her, so surely the rescue centre should be checking irrespective of her familiarity with them?…
My old home was very clean but I was refused a cat by a rescue centre as I lived near a road. They were VERY fussy so I doubt they'd let a cat go to a urine soaked filthy house. Definitely let the centre know as the welfare of the cat is paramount.
I would feel sorry for the poor cat and it's welfare if it were to live in horrendous smelly conditions. I think this is a no go. She should not have a cat unless she has a clean, smelly-free home, and can maintain it.
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