Torn between animal welfare and loyalty to a dear friend

A difficult situation to be in Bluesmum but for me the welfare of any future cat must take priority.

Absolutely the cats welfare is paramount she is unable to look after an animal and their life with her would be cruel. Sorry if it sounds harsh but she won’t live much longer then the cat will have to be rehomed again which is unfair . You MUST let the rescue centre know not to let her adopt another cat and I think you know this.

I would definitely contact the rescue centre and let them know of your concerns. Your friend is being selfish here - as someone else says, if she dies, the cat will have to be rehomed once again, and it certainly wouldn't be fair on any animal to be kept in those kind of conditions. The welfare of any cat she might acquire must be the top priority here.

I'm surprised a rescue centre would rehome a cat into that environment.

Why not see if your friend would settle for an interactive type cat.
They purr, and are good for a cuddle, but without all the other issues.

You know yourself you must contact the rescue centre. Having said that how would your friend get said cat? Is your friend mobile? Is she herself clean? Any rescue centre worth their salt would pick up on her frailty not to mention her personal hygiene. I know any rescue near to me have stringent rehoming regulations.

Bluesmum has said because her friend is well known to the rescue centre and makes generous donations they don't carry out their usual inspection.

MissAdventure

I'm surprised a rescue centre would rehome a cat into that environment.

Why not see if your friend would settle for an interactive type cat.
They purr, and are good for a cuddle, but without all the other issues.

I am almost certain they wouldn’t, but they will not be aware of the circumstances unless I tell them!
Thank you for your positive reactions, in my friends defence, she has stipulated she only wants an elderly cat, one that is not likely to outlive her, and this seems to be the the cause of the delay. They have offered young cats and kittens but she is at least being sensible so far in that regard, but I think she is getting desperate now! I will be contacting them in the morning, thank all again

I help at a local animal rescue and they always do a home check before rehoming.

Your friend does not need to know who had spoken to the rescue home, but you should definitely tell them about her situation. It is not fair on any animal and taking into account her age she needs to have made arrangements for any cat for when she dies.

I thought rescue centres considered the age of the person trying to rehome a cat. A friend who is a very fit 70 year old was rejected for being too old

I would worry about your friend rehousing a cat now, BUT I would be much more worried about your friend, it sounds as if she’s not coping well at all and needs help. If she’s in denial and angry it could be she’s unable to accept her situation or even the beginnings of dementia. Please do contact the cat rescue, and give some real thought about how to help her too.

Rescue Centres can be variable, so the rules that one applies may not be relevant to all.
However, most are used to this kind of situation, and I would contact them. Don't give your name at first, until you get the measure of the person you are speaking to, but in my experience, they will be grateful to you, and will be tactful.
They may well say that they don't have any suitable pet at present (true!) - that has happened to a neighbour of mine.
And I am so sorry you are having to do this, I know how hard it can be when someone you care for so deeply is just not functioning properly.

It sounds like a question of both your friend’s welfare, if she is living in such insanitary conditions as well as that of a potential,pet.
TBH she does not sound as if she is capable of looking after herself, let alone a pet.
I think you need to speak to someone to get her the help she needs.

Daughter4 has this and it works brilliantly.

www.elspet.co.uk/products/self-cleaning-cat-litter-box-toilet

Perhaps the niece and or nephew could be convinced to help every 2 weekly, with this if your friend insists on another cat. After Wich the house/furniture could be well cleaned. Though I hope she acquires no more cats.

RosiesMaw2

It sounds like a question of both your friend’s welfare, if she is living in such insanitary conditions as well as that of a potential,pet.
TBH she does not sound as if she is capable of looking after herself, let alone a pet.
I think you need to speak to someone to get her the help she needs.

As I said in my original post, have already contacted her local council and expressed my concern regarding her total refusal to accept her inability to keep her home fit for human habitation and Social Services are now aware and going to do an assessment of her needs.. Unfortunately, they, like most local authorities, have too little resources and too much demand, but following my urgent phone call and online application for help on her behalf , I am expecting to hear from them in the next few days. If I don’t, I will be contacting them again, but getting her to co-operate is another major problem. . If she continues to refuse help, can it be forced on her if her situation is considered to be a risk to her health and welfare?

Inky if she is deemed as not having capacity to make her own decisions.

Hopefully it won't come to that, though.

Only. Not inky!!

Can you ask if they do home visits?

I think most rescue centres will do that now so you may be worried about nothing?

Give them a ring perhaps.

I did see that you think they won't by the way.
I would check though as several years have gone by since the last cat.

Could she afford a regular cleaner?
Perhaps with a good one-off blitz, then a cleaner every couple of days, it may be manageable for her to stay independent.

any good rescue would not rehome to someone in these circumstances and probably age. it is clear she is struggling I hope Social Services will step in and help. As for carpets etc ripping them up and replacing would be daft but if you get a professional carpet cleaner in they have stronger cleaners and should be able to restore them to some better condition. Some cleaner firms can offer one off cleans for end of tenancies etc which should be a great help

She needs help.

Most definitely do all you can to prevent your friend having another cat. Please let us know how you get on.

I should say that I have Power of Attorney jointly with her neice, for both Health and Welfare, and Finance. She made these LPA’s a good few years ago now and at the time I investigated my responsibilities etc in this role but I have to admit that has all faded into the mists of time now and I need to refresh myself on how and when this can be activated. Although a normal person would think she is mad to live in squalor, given her very secure financial situation, in all other respects her mind is as sharp as a razor, very astute mentally!

Age UK may be able to give you some up to date advice, I'd think.

Hopefully a sensible social worker would too.